Friday, January 30, 2009

Forgive Me Father For I Have Spreed


It has been 24 hours since my last confession.

Pray tell.  WHAT IS IT WITH THESE THINGS?

I looked at the list of ingredients and there doesn't APPEAR to be any crack listed.  Though I don't know, the only actual food item I could make out on the label was "egg."  But I'm pretty sure when egg is hyphenated with "albumen" that it's not anything like the eggs I had for breakfast.  And frankly, after further thought, I'd really rather not know what egg albumen is.  Let's move on, shall we?

The first three ingredients are dextrose, corn syrup and hydrogenated coconut oil.

AWESOME.

I feel like Will Farrell in the movie Elf when he says the four food groups are candy, candy canes, sugar and syrup.

We've even developed an afternoon routine at work.  It usually starts out as an e-mail containing only the following sentence:  "We Spree?"  The guy at the convenience store recognizes us the second we walk in.

One of the guys holds his hand out the moment I come back to the office, yet another hears the telltale crackle of the bag opening and asks for a few.  I make my rounds passing out a couple here and there.  There is talk of someone going to Costco to get a box of them.  There is mention of an SSG Spree Subsidy.

Then again ... SSG is supporting the local economy, donating what and where she can and bringing a sense of joy each afternoon throughout our little cube farm ... perhaps dextrose, corn syrup and hydrogenated coconut oil are just the things we need during this stressful time!  Perhaps this is exactly what we can do to get this economy turned around and people spending again!  Believe!  Believe in the power of Sprees!

You are HEALED!

(SSG falls down into a diabetic ... or evangelical coma.  You be the judge.)

8 comments:

Living on the Spit said...

Spree was created as a tie on to the movie Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in 1971...they are chewy, fruity yummy goodness that I can not have :(

They have a Spree Machine for sake on ebay...turn your love into a money maker!!!

Love you.

The Incredible Woody said...

I'm a true believer!! Now I really like chocolate but I LOVE candy. Especially the hard stuff - ShockTarts, Runts, Everlasting Gobstoppers, and of course, my favorite Chewy SweetTarts! I am an addict.

Of course, my 4yo niece thinks I'm really cool since she can always find goodies in my purse!

mom x 2 said...

I love the chewy ones. The hard crunchy kind are just not as good. And I don't even want to know what egg albumen is.

Have a "spreefully" weekend :)

ps, I just love coming to your site.. it's so happy!

Predo said...

OMG! I just heard on the news the right wing conservatives are building a bill to create "Spree Free Zones" in public places!!! What are you going to do? How will you get your Spree's? Are you going to have to meet the store clerk in a dark alley and pay with dirty Spree money? Will there be drive-by Spree-ings? Will I have to work the streets to support your habit?

Argh! Politics!

Candy said...

Pretty sure egg-albumen is just the whites. Which would make sense. So full of protein too!

belladella said...

Oh god, Predo and drive by Spree-ings. Priceless. I am going to the grocery store (and it goes without saying- Target) on the way home. Spree are now at the top of my grocery list. Must have SPREE.

Frita said...

I'm sorry...what are Sprees? I might have had one once. Are they like sweet tarts with coating on them?

I'm a chocolate girl myself. The school bookstore lady knows me and my peeps now because everyday at 2:50 we come rolling in for peanut M&M's and diet coke. Can't get through Photoshop without em.

You are too cute SSG... :o)

HalfAsstic.com said...

amen! AMEN SISTA!