Wednesday, January 28, 2009

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying

Negotiate

Co-Worker #1:  Hey, SSG!  I'm going to meet you guys in the yuppieteria.  Can you carry my lunch down for me?  
SSG:  Why aren't you carrying your own lunch?
CW #1:  I've got to run and drop this off at the mailbox first.
SSG:  Okay, as long as you stop and grab me some Sprees on your way back.
CW #1:  Deal.

Delegate

SSG:  Hey, can you grab that bag for me right there?
Work BFF:  Yeah ... (halfway down the hall) Wait, why am I carrying this?
SSG:  My hands are full.
Work BFF:  ONE of your hands is full.
SSG:  But my soup is really hot!  I might have to switch hands midway and then what would I do?
Work BFF:  Dude.
SSG:  Dude!
Work BFF:  Whatever.

Close

Co-Worker #1:  Hey guys.
SSG:  Hey, you got mah Sprees?
CW #1:  You got mah lunch?

(SSG takes CW#1's lunch from BFF and hands it to CW #1)

Work BFF:  Wait!  I carried YOUR lunch down here?  I never agreed to that.
Co-Worker #2:  (Looks at SSG, who pockets the Sprees, and jumps into her soup.)  Wait a second, what just happened?
Work BFF:  Did you give her something for bringing your lunch down here?
CW #1:  (Digging into his lunch.)  Yeah, I told her I'd buy her Sprees.
CW #2:  So she got Sprees AND didn't bring your lunch down?
CW #1:  It's here.  I don't care how it got here.
Work BFF:  Dude! 
SSG:  (With a mouthful of soup.) Tomorrow I'm going to be asking Congress for a multi billion dollar bailout. 

9 comments:

Living on the Spit said...

Love, Love, Love the new layout!!! WOW...you are tuly at that next level now!

I am in awe and of course I love the color combo!!!

Love ya

Molly said...

The layout sings! and it's my favorite: PINK! And the buttons - and that middle building with the sparkles? that looks like one we built here in Atlanta. coinkydink, I know, but fun.

Predo said...

POW! ZING! KABLANG!

"Gee Batman, SSG is sure something!"

"Yes Robin, she certainly is! Like her new layout, she has always been stunning and beautiful!"

Very nice SSG! As usual we are filled with lust and envy! Like Catwoman would say, "MEOW, PURRRRRRR!"

The Incredible Woody said...

Brilliant! I foresee a very successful future for you, my friend!!

Love the new layout!

Lys said...

OK - this blog design ROCKS!!!! ZOMG! Love love love it!!! Glad to see you finally embraced the stiletto ;)

Secondly, please run for office ASAP. As it is, the negotiation/deal skills are beyond stellar!

mom x 2 said...

Love, love, love the layout!!

Oh, and let me know how that bailout thing works :)

Frita said...

Oh SSG it's perfect! Totally and completely is screaming SSG! You're on your way...

HalfAsstic.com said...

I LOVE the new look! Very spiffy! And you are totally going to get that bailout, so I may be contacting you for a loan... ;-)

belladella said...

LOVE the new look. I'll be back to enjoy it when I feel better- which I am tonight but don't want to push it. Back to work tomorrow.

Hugs,
Kim