Saturday, January 10, 2009

Chez SSG Gets a Makeover

When I was home for the month of December I watched A LOT of HGTV.  I think this is what prompted SSG's confessions on Thursday ... that and everyone staring at my naked walls when they come over.  I started having home image issues.  (Pasty walls can make even the skinniest houses look fat!)

HGTV makes it look SO easy.  They repaint, rearrange and redo virtually every surface.  SSG LOVES Divine Design.  She loves it so much that she doesn't even mind Candace Olson and her guests saying "aboot" instead of "about."  Or the fact that Chico, the electrician, has a ponytail.  (Okay, that's kind of a lie, SSG closes her eyes whenever "the ponytail" is around and makes whoever is watching it with her tell her when he's off camera.  Kind of like she does during scary movies.)

Where was I again?

OH YEAH.

So SSG said to Fisher: "I could SO do THAT."  

That enthusiasm lasted about a half hour, which was enough time to go around the house and make a list of everything she wanted to do.  Which was exactly enough time to realize that home improvements take A LOT longer than a half hour and that more money is probably exchanged on those shows than with a high priced hooker.

So then she took a nap.

But after a few days SSG started thinking about how much money she had.  And maybe breaking down the projects into smaller pieces, working with what she already has and instead of spending entire DAYS, spending an hour or two here and there.  SSG is a firm believer that small efforts add  up to big results over time.  (This is why SSG exerts as SMALL an effort as possible in her daily life.)

So she checked her piggy bank.


And realized there was probably about $50 in it.

So she decided she'd start at the first place she sees when she comes home each day.  Her front door.  She had a couple of pots in her garage that had been collecting some dust for a couple of years and figured she could throw some plants in there and call it a day.

Places like Home Depot and Lowe's FREAK SSG out.  She gets overwhelmed and starts sweating.  And usually has on the WRONG attire whenever she goes there.  Like last time.  When she had on a pair of peep toe leopard print flats and one of the guys that was helping her cut some lumber for a project she never finished said "nice shoes."  But instead of being complimentary, she's pretty sure it was judgey and so she complimented him on his steel toed work boots and said "yeah, I left my pair of those at home."

So this time she decided to go to a nursery.  Because it sounded like the kind of place where babies hang out.  And since SSG is kind of a baby when it comes to gardening, she hoped that it would be super elementary and dumbed down.

But then she walked into this.



And started hyperventilating.


But then she saw this and it was kind of what she wanted.

But then she started hyperventilating when she saw the $500 price tag.

So she grabbed a bunch of stuff, threw it in her cart and walked out of the store for $40.  

She's going for English Cottage ... boxwood, primrose, ornamental grass and some kind of rosemary in the back?  (Whatever, it was cheap and small.)  

All of you gardeners out there are laughing, I know.  I can hear you.

Are you even supposed to plant stuff in January?  The parking lot WAS kind of empty. 


So this is SSG's front door before.


And this is her front door after.


And that cute mat was only $12 at Target. 


Bonjour!  May I offer you a lemon drop from my pasty white kitchen?

10 comments:

Predo said...

Jimmy has given his approval of the work you have done here! He said stuff about balance, and primrose this and pink primrose that, and how impressive you are, and how Fabulous you are, and how Super inviting you photo is...blah..blah...

I am just beside myself that you went to a garden center.....would telling you that I am wet right now be out of bounds? I mean, we just had dinner together and a cocktail, so hell, wanna make out?

Wait, you just had a conversation with Jimmy involving prune juice and the moment has past! At least there is still some garlic bread!

Molly said...

Can't watch Divine Design because of the ponytail. It does me in.

But, I like the front door now. Tres inviting. The primroses are a nice shot of color.

May I have my lemon drop now?

The Incredible Woody said...

Ooo - I love lemon drops!!

Sorry I got distracted there - your door looks wonderful!

Suz Broughton said...

I think we might be related. I love your "Small efforts" theory. Except you actually created something beautiful!

Frita said...

Wow... beautiful SSG! I knew you had it in ya. Now, can you come do our door next because it's looking a bit unloved. The dead mums from Halloween are still out there.

So lovely...what's next?

Living on the Spit said...

Okay...you keep up with the home interior and exterior design and I will stay on this diet...we will both be absolutely fabulous then!

I love the planters you put together and you did a great job.

What does Ty Pennington do for you?

I am with you on the ponytail thing on guys.

Looking good girly!

Marlene

belladella said...

Deep, happy breath. I've been so itching to get out there and hang pictures. I was feeling hopeless. I was worried....

NO more! You did an AWESOME job on the planters and I love the welcome mat. It is so inviting!

You are on a roll sista! Keep it up!

Love ya!
Kim

Molly said...

Interview questions will be arriving via email (the address in your profile). Let me know if there is a dif address you prefer. Off to think up probing and off the wall questions!

and the verification word is OVARYOE. Is that Latin for no kids? utterly appropriate for me!

HalfAsstic.com said...

I am so proud of you! And I loves me some HGTV! H and I tune in A LOT! As a matter of fact Candice Olsen was one of the chicks on my "Girlcrush list" a few months back. As far as Chico goes, yeah, the ponytail has got to go. But he is a charming little guy and tends to grow on you. I speak as a veteran Divine Design watcher.
Your porch looks marvelous!

Lys said...

OK, that piggy bank - LOVE LOVE LOVE!

And the front door decor - love it! I'm with ya on the Home Depot/Lowes panic attacks. Jeesh - can't handle it.

As for this Divine Design - hmmm.. will have to check it out. The TV normally stays on Food Network or Fine Living *LOL*