Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Under My Skin


So the guys at work are on a mission to find the best clam chowder in Portland.  There is even talk about driving an hour and a half out to the coast ... so perhaps the search includes ALL of Oregon.  All I know is this.

They are taking it VERY seriously.

There is an Excel spreadsheet.  There is talk of a potential blog.  There are CATEGORIES that get RATED.  
  • Presentation
  • Clam to Potato Ratio
  • Thickness
  • Taste
  • Quality of Accompanying Crackers
For those of you in the Portland area, apparently Jake's Grill has the best chowder so far.  I won't tell you who has the worst.  (Hint:  See attached photo.  In the words of one of the guys:  "Can I get some Noxema for the skin on my clam chowder?")

Two of the people that I work with are convinced I should date one of the guys in our group.  My standard response to these suggestions when they arise is "what, other than the fact that we're both single, do we have in common?"

You'd be AMAZED at how much this question stumps people.  I told them to get back to me when they came up with something other than "well, you're cool and he's cool."  But ever since they've brought it up, I've been trying him on for size (in my mind!) and asking myself "could I date him?" (And NO, the guy is not Quiet Guy.)

After about a week of this, I've determined that similar to chowder, I have my own categories for guys. 

Presentation 
I like a guy that puts some effort into his appearance.  He doesn't have to spend an hour in the bathroom, but he needs to be relatively put together.  Clean shirts, ironed pants or even a white t-shirt with jeans and flip flops.  Just kind of casual but groomed.

Intelligence to humor ratio
Is anything hotter than a smart guy who can make you laugh?  
Um, no.

Thickness
I like a guy to be a guy.  My eye always goes to the tall ones who have got some meat on their bones.  One of my friends hugged me goodbye on Saturday night and he rested his head on the top of my head.  I was like "awwww."  Often times I find myself in the elevator amongst my co-workers, the majority of which are over 6' (I'm 5'5) and I feel protected ... even though there's no need to be protected in an elevator, and they'd probably run away from any kind of conflict ... you just never know.

Taste 
I'm definitely not looking for a super snob.  But I like a guy to have some taste.  I love a good burger like anyone, but I also like to go out for Indian food, sushi, Dim Sum.  I'll watch baseball all weekend, but I also want to cruise around a museum or check out a play.  If a guy was into ketchup only hamburgers and Steven Segal movies, we'd have a problem.

Quality of Accompanying Crackers
I always like a guy that has a good group of friends.  I think the people that you surround yourself with can make you better or worse and it says a lot about someone if they have friends who not only love and care about them, but can also challenge them.

So where does this leave the work guy?  I have no idea.  Chemistry is a big factor and can basically stomp out my little list up there in about .3 seconds.  And the fact that I'm on the fence about it makes me think the chemistry probably isn't there.  I also don't really think dating people you work with is the best M.O.

But a little flirting with "what if" never hurt anyone.  And isn't that the best part about being single?  You can sample anything you want, all of which leads you to eventually finding your favorite.

Excel spreadsheet not included.


6 comments:

Frita said...

Your work peeps are so funny! I hope I find good comrades when I jump back into the work pool.

As far as co-worker goes...
I agree with the fact that even having to debate it probably means the chemistry isn't there.

Have a great day!

HalfAsstic.com said...

Oh, honey, you definitely need to make sure "he" really is as "cool" as you are!
I completely agree with everything you said and add one thing. He needs to smell great! Clean and fresh and sexy.

big hair envy said...

There really isn't anything better than a meaty, well-groomed guy who knows what to order when presented with an extensive wine list, is passionate about "his team", is able to discuss politics and SNL without confusing the two, and has friends who would go to the ends of the earth for him.

Thank goodness I married him when I found him:)

Word verification is "litrod" - I'm sensing something subliminal...

Predo said...

Right now, Don't go break'n my heart by Elton John and Kiki D are playing on my Ipod, how funny is that!

You are peeking at the future possibilities while sitting on the fence, but that gives you the ability to drop down on what ever side has the greenest grass (just like every woman in world SHOULD do). And he, like all straight men, has no stinking idea (poor little handicapped straight men...Ahhh). Soooooo, my question to you....

If he were on "The Breakfast Club", who would he be? Then think about who you would be, and then think about how great my butt looks, and then think about a Sunny Mexican beach with lemon drops flowing freely, and then think about, "damn, why do I have to work for a living"....Hmmmm, I have given you a lot to think about!

belladella said...

Again, the first thing that comes to mind that you even have coworkers that you would/could consider in this way. I see the same three- THREE- people day in and day out.

I love your list. And Big Hair's confirmation of it. Good stuff.

Have fun flirting with the idea, so to speak :)

Suz Broughton said...

This was really clever and funny. I can see why two of my favorite bloggers read you.
Suz