Friday, July 18, 2008

Seven Weeks & Counting


Seven weeks from this very moment I will be on an airplane.  Somewhere over the Atlantic.  On my way to Paris.  

On.  My.  Way.  To.  Paris.  

FRANCE.  

I was going to make a joke about hoping that I was sitting next to some hot architect who moonlights as a fireman during his off hours, but seriously?  This is FRANCE we're talking about.  The place that I've wanted to go to since ... oh ... BIRTH.  An architect could be giving me a foot massage and promising his eternal love and devotion with a nice house and bar full of Grey Goose and I'd be pointing at my guide book saying "And you see this, right here?  The Musee d'Orsay?  I'm going to be there tomorrow!"

So!  Parisian apartment?  Check.  Provencal bed & breakfast?  Check.  Hotel on the waterfront in Nice?  Check.  Train ticket from Paris to Provence?  Done.  Rental car in Provence?  Yep.  Wardrobe selections made?  Yes (ish).  Footwear?  (Queue crickets.)

If someone would have told me that the HARDEST part about planning this trip was going to be finding some Mother F-ing shoes to wear?  I would have LAUGHED in their Mother F-ing face.

Shoes?  Pas de probleme!  I'd just cruise on down to Ross, find myself some cute Steve Maddens like I always do and call it a day.  Because NO ONE wears tennis shoes or quelle horrors (!) FLIP FLOPS in France.  Even SSG knows that (but she's taking her Reef's anyway).

But then I read the Fodor's website.  The one where they have this nasty little thing called a "forum" where people talk about evil things like the TEN miles a day they walked while in Paris.  And SSG started to get a little worried.  Perhaps she should look into some more comfortable footwear?  But which brand?  And they wouldn't cost more than $20, right?  

And that's when Fodor's Forums laughed in SSG's face and spit on her perfect Paris plans.

EVERYONE has an opinion on what shoes to wear in Europe.  Danskos.  Yes!  I wore them everywhere!  NO!  Too heavy! ECCO's!  Yes!  Rick Steve's wears them!  NO!  Not enough arch support!  Earths!  YES!  They have a negative heel and it helps your posture!  NO!  They gave me mad blisters!  

SSG had a minor freak out session and ordered $500 worth of shoes.  

FIVE.  HUNDRED.  DOLLARS.  WORTH.  OF.  SHOES.

SSG then had a MAJOR freak out session when she wondered if she even had $500.  
(She did.  And will now be eating Top Ramen until 2014.)

And guess what?  NONE of the shoes worked except for the one little pair of ballet flats up there.  The $120 pair of ballet flats.  ONE.  HUNDRED.  AND.  TWENTY.  DOLLARS.  FOR.  BALLET.  FLATS.  That's $100 more than SSG has spent on shoes.  Like EVER.

The upside?  SSG will recoup the bulk of her $500 when she returns all of the shoes.

The downside?  She will be solidifying the American in Paris stereotype by rockin' the tennies.  That is ... unless the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale can DELIVER this weekend.

PRAY for me people.

(P.S.  SSG realizes the ONLY reason her housing and travel plans are solidified is due to her travel partner, Mrs. Bob.  Now if SSG can just get her to do something about this pesky shoe problem ...)

7 comments:

Lys said...

SSG - get thee BACK to said shoe store and return them all. While the flats are very Audrey - they are not $120 flats (DSW???)

Therefore, my suggestion is taking thee to Bloomies and fondle the Cole Haan Air Bria. Let me know the type you like and I'll be off and running to help you find it online and for cheap with cash back to boot.

Lys said...

Oh - and those pics in the background - love them!

coastrat said...

Hey SSG, I know this great guy, Steve, a rabid St. Louis Cardinals fan, who has a shoe store in a little town in southwestern Wisconsin, not far from my home, who owns a place called, The Shoe Box, (http://theshoebox.com/)who can probably fix you up with whatever you need for your trip to France. How about it...?

Anonymous said...

SSG, relax! Wa-Da-Tay in da hause!!! We will fill lemonade bottles with lemon drops, and hit all the malls (and Good Lord if we go to Aldo I will probably crawl accross the floor on my knees!). Worry not my dearest one, for you are only allowed to take two pair of shoes to Gay Pareeeeeee! One for walking and one for dress, because, hmmmmmm, shouldn't you buy your shoes there? In fact, I think you should buy some outfits there as well!

Love the ballet shoes, and the tennies will work fine. Seriously, no straight man in his right mind will spend more then 5 seconds on your shoes, especially in Paris!!!!! But I can still put lemon drops into those bottles to go shopping!

By the way coastrat - I am from SW WI, how funny you should mention Black Earth! Nice!

(Sometimes!) Serendipitous Girl said...

I feel like Cinderella with no less than THREE Fairy Godmothers! Thank you guys! I've got two more pairs of shoes coming this week and I'll see how those go. If THEY don't work, SSG might very well be knocking on your ... e-mails? Thanks again!

Anonymous said...

SSG...o' travel partner of mine... I too spent $120 on some Ecco's for our little trip. I'm loving them and will send you a picture poste haste to see if you likey.

Don't you have a "Walking Store" down there? We do up here...perhaps you do need to come up for my birthday weekend so you can shoe shop & have a cocktail with me?

xo
Mrs. Bob

Heidi Ann said...

Well, I don't know if I'll ever get to Paris, but I surely understand the need for ultra-comfortable walking shoes! For me - it's what to wear to Disneyland. I haven't mastered it yet - last time I went I got such horrid blisters, they still hadn't healed a month later. I'm on a quest to find the right thing to wear so that I'm not in pain with every step! Because it's my Happiest Place, and mama ain't real happy when her feet hurt! At least I don't feel a need to be terribly fashionable there. But I can afford to spend, like $0, on shoes. I've gotta keep trying what's already in my closet.