Friday, April 18, 2008

Suzanne Sommers Out of a Job?

There's a new Thigh Master in town peeps, and his name is Josh Bard.

Josh Bard is the catcher for the (read: MY) San Diego Padres.  On any night of the week he's behind the plate managing the most crush worthy pitching staff in Major League Baseball.  He's up, he's down, he's catching fly balls for outs, tagging runners trying to come home or throwing them out at 2nd ... well, actually, we'll forgive him that last bit.  Anywhoo, that's just his job BEHIND the plate, never mind the pesky little job he has to do AT the plate.  And last night he got A WORKOUT.  And here's why he's giving Suzanne Sommers a run for her money:

Last Night's Game by the Numbers: 

Start Time:  7:05 p.m.
End Time:  1:21 A.M. 
Innings:  22 (!)
Longest game in the majors since:  1993
Number of 7th Inning Stretches:  3
Inning With First Run Scored:  14th
Number of Pitchers Used by the San Diego Padres:  7
Number of Pitchers Used by the Colorado Rockies:  8
Number of Pitches Thrown by both teams:  658

Number of Catchers Used by the Padres:  One
Number of squats for Mr. Bard last night:  Over 300  

Note to Padres trainers:  I hope that morphine drip or shot of adrenaline or whatever it is that you guys use that's totally not steroids was shot directly into Josh's quads at 1:22 a.m.