Saturday, December 20, 2008

I Am Woman! Hear Me Ro ... Whimper

Most days  my commute entails a 10 minute drive down a few hills to catch a timely train that whisks me downtown while I have my nose firmly entrenched in a book.  This is followed by a few block walk to my office.  Normally a CAKE WALK peeps ... or RIDE, whatever.

How I miss those days ...

Friday was much like Thursday.  I hoofed it down the hill to catch a newly discovered by SSG Express Bus!  That would take me directly downtown!  And was about 1/4 mile closer to my house than the bus I caught on Thursday!  I looked wistfully at my precious car still stuck in the apartment complex at the bottom of my hill, blew it a kiss and mouthed "I MISS you, I LOVE you" before chatting with the few people who were also waiting for the bus.  The bus that was a half hour late.  

And then I got off at the wrong stop downtown which meant I walked a good 3/4 of a mile to get to work ... in the snow ... all the while wishing I had thrown an irritating lady off the bus.  Said lady talked to the driver the ENTIRE ride which would have been weird and annoying anyway, but made MUCH less so if she weren't sitting halfway toward the BACK of the bus.  Throwing her of the bus?  Definitely would have made my walk much more satisfying.  Total commute time to go about 10 miles?  An hour and a half. 

It was still snowing throughout much of Friday and an ENORMOUS storm is coming this weekend, so I decided to treat myself and take the train part way home and catch a cab the rest of the way.  Which I did.

And got a cab driver on his SECOND day of driving cabs.  And who was not from Portland.  Um?  About 5 minutes into my ride I realized he didn't have a meter.  After a few seconds of sheer panic that I might have been in a serial killers car (note to SSG, please cease the watching of CSI and all its spinoffs immediately), I remembered it DID have a taxi sign on its roof top.  Though the TAPED Microsoft Word created "Taxi Rates" sign on the windows was an item of concern, I reminded myself I've always had good luck with cabs.  

Like the time a New York cab driver GAVE me some pot.  Like for free!    Because he liked me!  What was even funnier was the entire time we were talking about smoking during my ride, I thought we were talking about smoking cigarettes.  And then I'm such a delicate little flower I flushed the pot down a hotel toilet because I worried I was part of a random NYC drug sting operation and a SWAT team was about to come bust through the hotel room door.  (Take THAT NYC Po Po, SSG's no sucker.)

ANYWAY.  Newbie cab driver got me safely home, and was actually really nice and non serial killer-y.  I was even able to get my car out last night!  Woo hoo!   All of those crises safely averted meant there was only one more left ...


There was NO way I was going to try and drive my car down to the grocery store once I got it safely in the garage.  And there was also NO way I was going to walk about a mile down the hill to get groceries at 7:00 at night.

Which only left like a 2 hour window this morning.   Because peeps?  SSG's neighborhood is supposed to get about 12 inches of snow today.  (Please excuse SSG as she crawls into the fetal position under her desk.)

This morning I had myself convinced that I could make two eggs, a bag of spinach and a bottle of champagne last me until Tuesday or Wednesday when we're supposed to be, not only out of the 12 inches of snow, but also the 4 inches of ICE that we're supposed to get tonight (who wants to come to Portland?  It's SO fun here right now!)  I made this rationalization because I had PLENTY of coffee.  And who needs more than a couple of eggs, handful of spinach and bottle of champagne when you have POUNDS of coffee at your disposal?  Not SSG.

But then I went to make coffee.  And um ... so did NOT have plenty of coffee.  

I SPRINTED down the hill to the grocery store.

Shopping for groceries usually has me weighing the COST of things, not weighing the WEIGHT of things.  But now, every choice not only had to sustain me for the next 4ish days, but also had to be carried back UP the hill I just ran DOWN.  

I stayed in the store for as long as possible, defrosting and procrastinating, picking up items briefly before saying "too heavy."  Did you know the grocery stores have little screw top single serving bottles of wine that were the perfect size to take on picnic ... or put in your jacket pocket?  I made it out of the store for $80, which is TWICE as much as I usually spend there. $10 of that was magazines (Light weight!  Not edible.  Wah wah.)  

Once home, after a LONG hot shower and while a pot of coffee was brewing I unpacked my wares.  Salami, cheese, crackers.  Artisan bread.  More cheese.  And then it occurred to me ...

The food I purchased to keep me alive for the next few days?  The exact same food I buy when I'm having a cocktail party.

May I offer you some crudite?


Predo said...

Should I send Jimmy on over to your house to pick up the cocktail items? Just kidding!

Glad you made it to the store, but Honey, seriously, HOW MUCH VODKA DO YOU HAVE?

Do I need to send the Marines over with a bottle? said...

hat time do I need to be there? Dressy or casual? BYOB?
Is predo really sending the Marines over to to rush in and... "restore peace" with vodka? Cause I'll get there early for that. said...

Er, that first word in the previous comment? "What". Not "hat".

Living on the Spit said...

If planes were flying out of the east coast...whcih they are mostly not...I would leave right now to be there by morning.

I would love to be there with you and I would bring Belladella and BHE with me.


belladella said...

I am on my way! I'd love to see your face if Marlene, BHE and myself trucked it out to Portland and rang your doorbell. One day, my friend. Stay warm and safe. I am glad you made it out for supplies.

Rhiannon said...

This is seriously terrible. I'm concerned I may run out of liquor.

And, now I'm going to make myself a cheese plate.

Molly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Molly said...

The northwest version of a hurricane party! with Lemon Drops in place of Hurricanes...I bet you don't want to hear it was 70ish and humid here today, huh?

Lys said...

If Predo sends the Marines - he better send an MP over to Orlando please too - pretty please ;)