Wednesday, July 22, 2009

What Do You Wonder Wednesday

SSG gets a lot of e-mails with questions. Until people get sick of her and stop asking, she will be posting answers to some of those questions here each Wednesday. Have a question for SSG? Send it to

Why are you still single and what are you looking for in a guy?

It has taken me a LONG time to admit this, but I am still single because I want to be. Plain and simple. I have given EVERY OTHER REASON under the sun--haven't met the right guy, am too busy with work, I want to wait until I lose 10, 15, 20, 25 pounds, I'm a better friend to guys than a girlfriend, that guy is lame, too short, too tall, drives weird, orders his hamburger well done, has girl hands ... you name it I've said it.

But what it boils down to is relationships scare me so much that fight or flight isn't even a response anymore. It's just flight. SSG is working on this by currently dating lots of lame, too short, too tall, drives weird, orders his hamburgers well done girl hand having guys right now. One wonders how far she's come however as she currently is talking to a potentially great guy who happened to mention he travels a bit for work and her first response was to e-mail her Work BFF as follows:

SSG: So do you think this travel business is just a sham? And like really he has a first wife and kids in some other state?
Work BFF: Uhhh ...
SSG: And the only way I'll find out is when our son goes to college, meets his half sister without knowing and they want to get married and then I'll be on 60 Minutes saying "I had NO idea, he said he just went to Tulsa for work."
Work BFF: You really are way too trusting of people.

So what I'm looking for is someone who flies so far under my radar that I don't even notice we're dating until it's too late and I'm wondering who that guy is watching Sports Center on my couch and if that's his Right Guard in the bathroom.

In a nutshell ... the stealth bomber of boyfriends. So did you have someone in mind or?

Are you crazy?


What's up with the grocery lists? I liked it when you wrote about your neighbor getting arrested in his underwear.

So are you saying my grocery lists are less interesting than an episode of Cops being filmed in my suburban neighborhood? What if I put handcuffs on my grocery lists? Trot my groceries out in their boxer briefs?

My neighbor has managed to not resist arrest recently, which I think we can all agree is progress. I'm pretty sure it has everything to do with the fact that he no longer has his car and gets rides home daily from a MYRIAD of people who enjoy parking diagonally in his driveway. If I can figure out who each of them are and why large boxes of Amway products get delivered to his house on a regular basis I'll keep you posted.

Confessions of an SSG has always been about what's happening in my life at the moment. And right now I have an odd fascination with living frugally and seeing how low I can get my grocery bill. Last year at this time I was getting ready to go to Paris. This year, I am getting ready for chicken breasts to go on sale for $1.88/pound! Who says boring?!

Oh wait, you do. That's right.

I live in Nigeria, will you help me cash this money order if I pay you $200?

Hmmm. $200 CAN buy a lot of groceries ...


The Incredible Woody said...

For some reason, the majority of emails that I get are about penis enhancement. I really have no idea why.

Living on the Spit said...

I love reading you no what it is that you are talking about.

I just love me some SSG...forever and ever. amen.

BellaDella said...

I am with Spit- I truly don't care what you are talking about...I am hooked no matter what. I am very excited to discuss with you the addition of couponing to your list and grocery interest of late. I saved $30 with coupons on Monday night at Target. That's like your whole budget for the week. Am I peaking your interest at all???? ;) Actually, I think I just sound like a giant nerd.

big hair envy said...

Hmmmmm....I need to think of a really thought-provoking question. I'm not sure my little brain can handle that right now!!!

Save your pennies so you can join us at Blog Fest next year. We didn't have any Portlanders this time...:(

Natika said...

If I waited to be a size 4 before I met a man I would still be single. Now at a size 10, I realize weight was never the issue. When the right person comes along nothing else will matter.
You have to work on yourself before you can work on someone else.
If all else fails....Light a small fire in your house and call 911. Lay on the floor and pretend not to be breathing. Some cute fireman will surely lie his beautiful lips on you. Probably should point out that you'll probably meet a cop to. I think you can go to jail for arson, but I'm not sure! said...

And right now you have an odd fascination with living frugally, indeed! The way the economy has tanked, I think that's something we can all relate to. You always write so well, I enjoy whatever you're talking about. ;-)

Predo said...

I have a question?

That predo guy, is his package really that big?

Just kidding!!!!! I love the question post, and I super love the answers! Having said that, Nigeria checks? Hmmmmmmmmmm? Sounds like a story unto itself!

If ever you get some stalker on your tail, you let me know! I will head over with feather Boa wrap and mase to save the day!!!!