Tuesday, August 5, 2008

It Ain't the Pollo That's Loco

Oh my holy shitballs (that's for you Digs).  Have you guys seen Flipping Out on Bravo?  I remember hearing about it and assumed it was that hair show with whoever the brown haired Charlie's Angel was hosting it.  Not the tomboy looking one, the one that used to pimp hair products in the '70's.  

Annnyway, it turns out it's not the hair show with flippy brown hair Charlie's Angel.  It apparently is about REAL ESTATE in Southern California.  I caught about three minutes of it tonight before having to turn it off because WADE?!  It was like the Seagull (Wade & my former boss) spawned a gay son and the gay son is living in California and selling houses.  He had the Seagull's signature moves DOWN.  

1)  The Botoxed lips & forehead did not move.  
His face remained straight, even, controlled.  
You know immediately that you're about to get shit on. 

2)  The passive aggressive question asking.  
"Ask me how my lunch is."  
You're pretty sure that squawking is rhetorical.

3)  Making sure you know you've done SOMETHING wrong, just not letting you know WHAT.   
"How's your lunch?" 
You attempt it because if you DON'T do what he asked you to do, he's going to say you're being insubordinate, right?  Or is this one of the times he DOESN'T want you to do what he wants you to do to show you're not just his puppet?

4)  Stating what clearly is NOT Obvious as if it's the MOST obvious thing EVER:  
"It's missing an important ingredient."

5)  Condescending Leading Question
"Why don't you tell me what I'm missing and we'll see if we're on the same page."

I was hanging on the side of the couch wondering if the TV was going to fire me for forgetting something SO important.  Revenue?  An important client?  Missed meeting?  A charge off? 


The assistant forgot Jeff Lewis' GUACAMOLE from El Pollo Loco.

I took one more look at the television before turning it off and saying "Bitch, PLEASE."


Bella Della said...

I've seen it a couple of times. That guys is nuts. I seem to remember him firing his assistant for like the 10th time because he had put too much sugar in his coffee or something. As I always say...let me show you some real problems.

Big Hair Envy said...

I've never seen it. Don't know if I could make it through the show without throwing something at the television!

I wanted to BE Jaclyn Smith in the '70's. She had fantastic hair.

(Sometimes!) Serendipitous Girl said...

Jaclyn Smith! That's IT. I was like Jean Nate? No, that's not it ... Now I'm off to fire my assistant for not even making me coffee.

Candy said...

Yeah I've watched it a couple of times, but I find it hard to believe people are THAT ridiculous, and I assume it's a put-on. But maybe I'm wrong and he's just a dick.

Anonymous said...

Okay SSG, I have not seen the show, but I know the type, and YOU KNOW I AM HOLDING BACK (a little).....

Lets say, Mr. pin-prick no-dick shows up again on your TV, you call me, I send my lesbian biker friends over and they kidnap Mr. Not-in-touch-with-reality-or-any-one-else's-feelings. They then begin a nice twelve hour session of "the gravel enema" followed by "testicle tap-dancing". (just sit back and visualize, then the next guy that pisses you off can easily b e inserted into this day-dream....)

Hm, I think I just named my first book! I should enact the above in real life for research. Do you know anyone that I should start with?

Lys said...

I just about lost it. I watched that show once and pretty much had the same knee jerk reaction. He's an azz. I'd much rather have Jonathan crying on Blow Out than watch this guy act like an insane wench...