Thursday, May 1, 2008


I can be kind of a bitch sometimes. 

Like today when I told A that I thought I stole someone's coffee accidently when Stumps called up a latte after I was already drinking what I thought was my latte.  Then the guy behind me said "um, I think you maybe picked up my soy latte?"  To which I took another sip and said "nope, definitely not soy.  I don't think I hijacked YOUR coffee."  And I meant it to be funny, I swear I didn't mean it bitchy, but I think it may have come across that way because he started explaining himself and then just trailed off.  Like "you don't have to be such a bitch about it."  Oops.  

So throughout this whole exchange/coffee debacle 2008, there is a lady in capri sweat pants and a pink, puffy hoody coat that's about as long as her too short sweat pants rushing around getting coffee and rolls for her husband and son who were chilling outside soaking up the 40 degree temps and sun.  And I've seen this look before, because Stumptown is right by a hotel and there are always tons of people waiting in line who look rushed and frantic and all "I'm not in my routine, I don't know the proper protocol for this coffee shop.  12 oz, tall, small?  And what the fuck is taking so long? Aaahh!  Might.  Spon. Tan. E. Ous. Ly.  Com. Bust."  And I looked at A and said "I'm always concerned that when I go into another city I look like a total and complete asshole tourist and everyone can just tell I'm NOT FROM THERE.  Ya know?"

To which he cocked his head to the side and said "I'm sure you fit in just fine."  Because A's nice like that and doesn't have a mean bone in his body, unlike his cubicle neighbor who drags him blocks away for coffee these days.

And I said "that's what my friends say and I start to feel better.  But then I see people like that and I realize, no ... it's pretty damn obvious when you're a tourist."

So to the guy who took offense at my hijack joke, I apologize.  I swear I'm nice most of the time.  I was unaware of the proper protocol for when someone accuses you of stealing their drink after you openly admit that you think you might have.  I'm really just a tourist visiting Beeyotchtown, I don't normally live here.

And P.S. to this RIVETING story, the extra latte turned out to be A's drink that Stumps messed up on.  So alas, all of the overpriced espressos were joined lovingly back up with their owners.

The End.