Sunday, February 24, 2008

Wade & Jimmy

Wade and I used to work together. We met a few years ago and it was love at first sight. Well at least it was for me, I still have to beg him to hang out with me and when he says no, I make sure to invite myself over to his gorgeous house that he shares with Jimmy at least once a month. They are two of my favorite people on the planet and spoil me for everyone else by taking me to private Pink Martini concerts on downtown rooftops and making me drink lots of cocktails in front of their prominent friends. There was also that dance that Wade did to MC Hammer while we were on a business trip. Yeeeooow!

So what could be more fun than Wade and Jimmy on their own? Well Wade and Jimmy's super fun friends, of course. (BTW, Wade & Jimmy's Super Fun Friends was an alternate title to this post-but sorry Wad-ay, you get this title all to yourself!) I promised I would protect the guilty and not use real names in this post. We decided instead to use their porn names. As such, last night our cast was made up as follows:

Hosts: Wade & Jimmy (real names, but only because their porn names make them sound like they're running for office)


Tabby Hughes: Way rich (and famous too!) now Arizona resident who once had Tom Cruise's junk "accidentally" rubbed on him at a Broadway show. (sorry Tabby, I couldn't resist).

Corky Kahanahou: Prominent Portland genius who may give Jimmy a run for his money as the nicest guy on the planet. He seriously is the cutest guy ever and I think he might have measured his shirt collar to make sure both sides were even after he put his sweater on. He hasn't had Tom Cruise's junk rubbed on him yet, but just give it time.

Pepper 43rd St which we quickly changed to "Pepper 43 Double D's" (it just sounded better): Renaissance woman who has lived in more cities than I've set foot and has had more jobs than I knew existed. This chick LIVES and is a complete bad ass and total sweetheart. (Pepper, this little geek envies your ability to throw caution to the wind and just go!)

Zippity Archer: C'est moi! The token straight person. Geeky financial analyst and want to be writer whose stomach would have totally hurt from laughing so hard if my abs weren't as strong as they are. Whew, thank god for that six pack! What's so funny guys?

Here were a few of my favorite moments from last night (I seriously had to start making a list, next time I'm planting a recording device):

--Being offered a drink within 3 seconds of setting my purse down (Told ya, utterly spoiled.)

--Corky recounting his afternoon with Tabby at William's Sonoma. Without giving up too many details, it involved a cute clerk and the lingering question of if Corky should go back in a few days to see if the clerk remembered him. (Side Note: Corky, if you're reading this, try and get over the numerous grammatical and spelling errors and get your cute butt back to Williams-Sonoma.)

--Jimmy recounting the time he and Tabby dressed up as hookers for Halloween and went to the local Payless (which I think was an old Woolworth type store in Eugene. There were a few drinks involved, details are sketchy) to buy women's clothes. They told the clerk they were there to buy some items for their "girlfriends" and needed some pantyhose to go with the women's dresses. When the clerk asked what size they looked at each other and said: "the biggest you've got, they're big girls."

--Tabby recounting the garage sale that Jimmy threw when they used to live together. All of the little old ladies in the neighborhood were in Tabby & Jimmy's front yard at 7 a.m. when "Vera" came out of the house wearing a woman's wig and high heels with his men's underwear. Jimmy looked at Tabby and said "great, we're going to have to move again."

And last but not least, I'd like to apologize for the drunk dial to Chauntey (aka: Taaaaaaay!), Tabby's assistant, who so kindly picked up our call (despite the late hour) and listened to us drunk freaks yelling "Haaaay Taaaaay, haaaaay!"

Wade and Jimmy, your friendship means so much to me and ... well I think MC Hammer says it best when he says: "you can't touch this!" Thanks again for another amazing and hilarious evening.

Zippity Archer


Anonymous said...

I am printing this out for the ladies! They are very busy having high heel races up and down the stairs right now and can’t be disturbed! I have to admit, you kept all the risk-aaaayyyy items in your little bag of tricks for later (I presume)!

You are invited anytime, your family now! That means you get the full tour (with cocktail of course) for the price of admission. In regard to all the stories, we just tend to bring the skeletons out one by one in marching formation (with scarves and matching designer hand bags) instead of hiding them away to get all dusty and boring!

Oh, and if you remember, the MC Hammer dance may have been a reaction the “breast molestation” that occurred. (there is no possible way to defend myself the way this is going is there?).

Anyway, recover well my sweet Princess, for another party awaits!!!! Love ya Toots! Wa-Da-Tay!