Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Oh My Lawd of the Dance


I will admit.  A dude in a headband, high waisted pants and a shirt unbuttoned down to his naval doesn't do it for me.  And don't even get me started on those BOOTS.  Oh my.  But Michael Flatley was on Dancing With the Stars last night and um ... I have something to tell you. 

Come closer, I don't want to say it too loudly. 

A little closer.

And you can't!  Tell!  Anybody!

Promise?

Okay.

I think Michael Flatley is kind of sexy.

There is something about a clean cut man in a suit (shirt BUTTONED), with a hint of an Irish accent saying things like "that was brilliant", "you are INTOXICATING" and "I can't stop watching you" into the television screen that made it seem as though he was talking directly to me.  

He was so steady and kind and looked me, I mean people in the eyes when he spoke to me, I mean them.  Like the female dancers who gazed upon him from behind batted eyelashes, I took a look down at my Padres t-shirt and almost said back to him "This old thing?  You are TOO kind.  And what's that?  Really?  I haven't done a THING with my hair today." 

I started wondering if Mr. Flatley would be interested in judging the dance I did today ... 

Like waking up late and remembering I was completely out of coffee.  
A 5 sympathy vote from Mr. Flatley.

Or being first in line at Starbucks and when I was done ordering, turning around to see a crowd of people behind me.
Score!  Perfect 10 from Mr. Flatley.

Hurrying to get to school for my midterm and arriving in time to study (read: close my eyes for 10 minutes).
A 7 from Mr. Flatley for lack of energy midway through the number.

Not only feeling good about the exam, but taking time to notice the number of HOTTIES in the classroom.
A 9 from Mr. Flatley for execution ... and eye contact.

And the rest we just won't talk about.  Because I'm sure if he saw the speed with which I fell asleep on the couch when I got home, he'd mistake me for Cloris Leachman.  

6 comments:

Living on the Spit said...

Oh MY Lawd!!! YOu have got to be the funniest blogger out there in the blogosphere! Have you ever considered writing for SNL or becoming a stand up. I wish we lived near each other because I swear it would be a BLAST going out with you!!!!

Thank you for making my morning excellent!!! The Cloris Leachman comment was the killer.

I give you a 10!!

Marlene

Molly said...

Ok, I'm guffawing this morning. Which is hard since I'm so not a morning person!

belladella said...

I agree with Spit. You are hilarious. I am feeling like poo this morning and you have managed to make me laugh. Perfect 10!

big hair envy said...

I'm only giving you a 9, because Mr. Flatley isn't really doing it for me!!!! Post a photo of my man Kiefer, and I'll give you a 15!!!

You. Are. Too. Funny.

BTW - Eye contact in class? Do I see lemon drops in your future???

HalfAsstic.com said...

Thank Gawd Mr. Flatley isn't judging us, (read ME). I can't imagine how short I'd fall!
You crack me up to even think of it.

Wah-Dah-Tay said...

I would have been great in River-dance. The problem was, they said my package was too big in those tight pants!