Thursday, December 11, 2008

Why a Straight Chick Cares About Gay Marriage

Did you happen to catch Mike Huckabee on Jon Stewart Tuesday night?

I've been wanting to write about gay marriage since California's Prop 8 and haven't quite known where to begin.  Because frankly?  I can't believe gay marriage is even an issue.  We've got wars going on, kids in the country that are are only being fed one meal a day and unemployment on the rise.  And we're worried about two consenting adults who want to get married?  No we're not.  


It didn't make me angry at first, it made me furrow my brow and say "Really?  No one cares who I marry, why should I care who anyone else marries?"  But now I'm starting to get pissed.  And what better place to get pissed than on your own blog?   Well in a pub in Ireland, but that's the word in a whole different context.

Wait.  Words can mean different things to different people?  To different cultures and yet still be equally truthful?  Novel concept.

People's rights are being violated.  Right here.  Right now.  In OUR lifetime.  One generation away from a time that we SHUDDER over.  Photos of marches in the South, clear division of racial lines, people getting beat up and killed because of their skin color.
No, no.  We don't do that anymore.  It's against the law.  Now we're ... nicer.  We even elect black presidents!  So go away now, nothing to see here.  Moving right along.  People can live any way they want to live.  

But we don't like our words being redefined.

"They.  Want.  To.  Redefine.  A.  Word."

Seriously?  That's the argument?

This isn't 2nd grade.  This is real life where tough decisions have to be made.  Decisions like coming out as a gay adult so you can live your life being true to who you are knowing full well you'll be discriminated against.

Tough decisions like my lesbian neighbors who adopted their 5 year old son because they wanted a family and know that all kids deserve stable homes.  I watched their boy, grow 6 inches in 6 months because he is now in a loving, stable environment where they sit down together to dinner every night and read stories before bedtime.

Tough decisions like one of my good friends (that you all know well) who served in the military only to come back home and become a cop.   He has fought and protected freedoms that he doesn't have.

We're talking about love, pure and simple.  That's it.  Men and women have found the people they want to pledge their lives to.  They're not selling heroin and teaching each other to self harm.  We have enough British pop stars for that.  They just want to get MARRIED.

I understand religion plays a very large part in people's decision making.  And that is valid.  Belief systems are important.  They are protected.  And they ABSOLUTELY should be.   Some religions in America believe Jesus was the Messiah.  Some don't.  Some people are Buddhist.  Some aren't.  But your personal beliefs are your own.  They can never be taken from you.  But you can't infringe on another group's rights.  That's part of the deal.  Two men or women getting married does NOTHING to infringe upon the rights of a straight couple's marriage.  

Marriage is a social right that is being withheld from our brothers and sisters.  Our neighbors and friends.  Our mothers and fathers.   If we can start withholding rights because people are afraid or uncomfortable?  

I shudder to think what's next.

(P.S.  SSG supports gay marriage.  But she does not give up her right to JUDGE marriages.  SSG's looking at you Heidi & Spencer Pratt.)


Predo said...

There once was a guy who used to say "You have to decide to take the blue pill or the red pill", remember him? Anyway, Jimmy and I are only working on our 18th year (and Lisa Lapenelli thinks that is like 400 years in gay!!). We would ruin that sanctity in marriage thing you know! We would not want to redefine marriage as it really is with a 50/50 pull through, now would we? Hell, at least half of the marriages last. How much worse could we make it?

In his video, he said it takes a man and a woman to make a marriage. Well, it also takes a man and a woman to make the children that grow up to be gay or lesbian! Hmmmmmm, connection?

All this stress just makes me want to have a lemon drop!

It is so odd that you wrote this post today, because tomorrow my post is on "Prop 8, the musical"! I guess great minds just think alike!!!! Then again, you were always one step ahead of me!

You Go Sista! I am very, very happy to have you on my side!

Frita said...

Very well said SSG and my sentiments exactly. Someone was talking yesterday about being asked to go out and support gay rights and their reply was what could they really do or would it make a difference.

My response was what if people said that with the civil rights movement or women's rights? Everyone has a right to their own opinion but that right ends when it infringes on the rights and lives of others. You can not legislate based on your morality. This is why there is separation of church and state.

We can't pick and choose what "equal" rights to give to all. This just gets me so fired up.

ab said...

Hi. I've been a reader for a while, first time commenter. (I also work with and secretly heart your first commenter!) Thank you for posting this. Within the first 2 minutes of the clip Huckabee says that anatomically gay marriage doesn't even work, that we marry to reproduce. So what if I don't want kids? Is my marriage a sham? I love Jon Stewart, he handles this very well.

It is my great hope that one day people open their eyes and just a tiny bit of their brains and accept that this is an issue of people, and not gender.

And Heidi and Spencer? I seriously don't understand how she can wake up to that creepy flesh-colored beard every morning. *shivers*

Anonymous said...

You and the Vinyl Villager are on the same page today. You should really go over and read his post:) said...

I'm with Predo. I want a lemon drop and then I will be fortified enough to take up the gauntlet for freedom of speech, religion, marriage, aaaaall the civil liberties put together.
I'm not sure I could state my case as well as you have! Good job.

(Sometimes!) Serendipitous Girl said...

To Predo: Wait, isn't the blue pill Viagra? Jimmy said you didn't need that.

To Frita: TWINS Miss. Frita. TWINS. What am I thinking about RIGHT NOW?

To Ab: Welcome! I'm so glad you come by and thanks so much for your comment! Always fun to hear about another cool Portlander! And tell Ash hello and to get her ass back to writing. I miss her!

To BHE: I stopped by VV today for the first time. He's going on my daily reads--thanks for the tip!

To Krissa: Did you say lemon drops? I'll be over in 5 minutes.

Anonymous said...

wow great minds must think alike. Or is it twisted minds? Im not sure...Im off to read more of your posts to decide. :-)

And to the person who made the Lisa Lampanelli comparison--you rock! She cracks me up

(Sometimes!) Serendipitous Girl said...

To VV - I just got sucked into your archives. Please stop being so entertaining immediately.