Showing posts with label The (Sometimes) Serendipitous Kitchen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The (Sometimes) Serendipitous Kitchen. Show all posts

Monday, April 21, 2008

Security Alert - Code Level "Pumpkin Pie"

On any given day I access 10,011 computer systems that each require their own password.  Security is VERY important in finance and I take good care of the pieces of paper in my charge.  I tuck tax returns and balance sheets safely into bed each night before I go home.  I make sure to lock brokerage statements up tight with promises that I'll return to analyze them tomorrow before turning out the lights and locking the door behind me.  I have absolutely no idea who I'm protecting them from.  But I protect them.   And then last week, my world came crashing down.  

It turns out I have been looking after the wrong pieces of paper.  It was not rich peoples' financial information that these thieves were after.  Rather the rich people were the thieves--and they would stop at nothing to obtain ... wait for it ... RECIPES.  And not even recipes that were "Secret Family Recipes" but recipes that were so public they were stolen right out from under everyones' noses.   I have 10,011 different passwords, but my Food Network recipe box?  Wide open peeps.

Cindy McCain was on The View this morning.  When asked about "Recipegate" (how much do you love itgate?) she pulled out her ninjagate politician moves:

1)  Blame the Intern- It's ALWAYS the intern's fault.  Always.  This pesky little Iraq war?  Has intern written all over it.

2)  Joke About It - The intern is now at "Betty Crocker Boot Camp."  Wait a second ... I didn't know Betty Croker lived in Cuba ...

3) Deflect Attention - Cindy is writing a BOOK!  About the trials and tribulations of being the wife of a man running for office.  It must be difficult shamelessly ripping off other people's ideas without giving them credit.  I have NO idea what that's like.  What do you mean you saw yesterday's post?  Have I told you about this BOOK I'm writing?

SSG is onto you richies, and will not be made a fool of.  I have the following color coded system in place to warn us, the dwindling middle class, how close the smooth forehead-ed, plump lipped, bleached blond, french manicured hands are to plucking the "Pork Roast with Fig Reduction" recipe right out of our hot little kitchens.

Code Asparagus - Threat is low.  Nothing that a little "Asparagus Soldier" can't handle.  Jamie Oliver will wrap an asparagus with bacon and bake it in the oven, warding off the wealthy with a quick "take tha!"

Code Blueberry Scones - Ina Garten will run DOWN those ladies with her OWN Mercedes on her way to the Hampton market for fresh blueberries.  Jeffrey will be at home hiding until Ina lets him know it's safe to come out and eat warm Blueberry Scones fresh from the oven.  

Code Lemon & Thyme Granita - Giada de Laurentis will let us know when the threat starts heating up by confusing the wicked women with her pronunciation of Italian words like "spaghetti" or "rigatoni."  She'll say them so Italian-y that the rich ladies will wonder if they've woken up from a hangover only to find themselves in Capri.

Code Pumpkin Pie - If you hear Paula Dean say "start with two sticks of butter," those bitches have their dirty little fingers all up in your recipes ya'll.

Code Cherry Cobbler -  Forget it, they're gone.  Sandra Lee went and mixed the canned cherry juice from the cherry pie filling with half the contents of her liquor cabinet and didn't see a THING.

And like I always say, if you can't beat 'em join 'em!  Sandy baby, can you pass the Grey Goose?

Always looking out for your safety,
SSG

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Found: Spring, Missing Since 2007


She has been in my kitchen this whole time ... along with (up until now) my closeted Barefoot Contessa obsession.

Hope you're all having a lovely Saturday!
SSG

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Cooking with Insomnia

You know how people have grandmothers who wear housecoats, make a mean lemonade and pass along family recipes where the list of ingredients starts out with "2 sticks of Oleo"? I did not have one of those grandmothers.

My maternal grandmother, Gam as we call her, used to put on her leopard print nighty and drink a glass of Chablis before kissing us goodnight and whispering "sweet dreams." She wore Paris perfume, drove a VW bug until her late eighties and went to Europe for the first time when she was 76. She was a role model in many ways, none of which had to do with the kitchen.

I always wanted that quintessential book of recipes full of secrets passed down through the generations. Secrets that made people request your chocolate cake for parties or you quiche for brunches. Fortunately and unfortunately for me, I have to make my own. I say fortunately because this missing ingredient if you will, has fueled my desire to learn about cooking. I say unfortunately because I feel like I'm already behind. My sister and I are building our own repetoire and trade recipes each week or talk about things we want to make. I look forward to cooking with my niece, nephew and hopefully my own kids one day, but sometimes I just want to be with an old grandmother in her kitchen using the measuring cups she's had for years and telling stories about the time she got in trouble for staying out on the porch too long with a boy.

Last night I couldn't sleep, so I padded down to the kitchen. I flipped through cookbooks like I do when I need to relax and came across "Gateau au Yaourt" from Chocolate & Zucchini. The recipe came from the author's boyfriend's grandmother--who I picture as a loving French grandmother with a kitchen full of pots and pans she's had since before war. The recipe sounded easy enough--yogurt, some flour, oil, couple of eggs, vanilla and baking powder. It was so easy that even school children made it! In fact, the author made it when she was 5!

Never mind that it was 1 a.m. Never mind that I was exhausted. I should be able to make a cake that a 5 year old makes, no? I whipped up all the ingredients, threw it in a pan and chucked it in the oven. I had to wait for 35 - 40 minutes, but no problem, I'd clean up the kitchen in the mean time and maybe peruse through a magazine. A few minutes into the baking process however, I smelled something burning. What could that possibly be?

My cake, my so-easy-a-kindergartner-can't-fuck-it-up-cake had bubbled over and was making a perfect circle of batter in the bottom of my oven. "Shit!" I yelled, turning off the oven and grabbing pot holders to take the bubbling mess out of the smoking inferno without managing to singe my arm hair. I threw the cake on the counter and looked at the book. It had called for a 10 inch pan. I had poured the batter into my 8 inch pan. Merde.

By then I was about ready to pack it in. I'd try and make the cake some other time and started wiping up the mess. But then the fragrance started to make its way around the kitchen. It smelled like warm doughnuts, fresh out of the oven. So I paused for a moment and then spread a cookie sheet with foil and placed the 8 inch, extremely full pan in the middle of the cookie sheet and back into the oven. Then I completely forgot about the cake.

I managed to screw this cake up in every way imagineable, but guess what? It still turned out wonderfully. I tried a piece last night when it was still warm from the oven. Heaven. I floated upstairs and had sweet dreams of Gateau au Yaourt with lemon curd and fresh raspberries or Gateau au Yaourt with strawberries and whipped cream. This morning I managed to shave off a slice while running out the door.

I wouldn't trade my Gam for the world. And I bet Clotilde's boyfriend, Maxence, wouldn't trade his grandmother either. But I sure am glad they allowed me to share her for a while.

Gateau au Yaourt
from Chocolate & Zucchini

1/3 c vegetable oil, plus 1t to grease the pan (use a 10 inch pan for goodness sakes!)
1 c nonfat yogurt
1 c sugar
2 eggs
1 t vanilla
1T light rum (optional, I didn't use it--rum makes me feel like I'm back in high school and on spring break)
1 2/3 c all purpose flour (I used cake flour)
1 1/2 t baking powder
1 t baking soda
pinch of salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease the sides of a TEN INCH round cake pan with oil.
Whisk together the yogurt & sugar.
Add eggs one by one beating well after each addition.
Add vanilla, oil & rum (if using) and whisk again.

In another bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Pour the flour mixture into the yogurt mixture and whisk until just combined.

Pour the batter into the prepared cake pan and bake for 35 to 40 minutes until the top is golden brown and a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Let stand for 10 minutes. Run a knife around the pan to loosen and flip the cake onto a plate. Serve slightly warm or at room temperature.

You can't mess this thing up, trust me.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Susan Quick Where Are You?

Hello my name is Serendipitous Girl and I am a magazine-aholic.

It started when I was a teenager and read Sassy. Then, when 18 and waiting at the airport to pick up a boyfriend, I grabbed a Cosmo. Eventually Cosmo lead to Glamour and every month I'd head to my dealer (aka Barnes & Noble), purchase my drug of choice and inhale it in one sitting. Cosmo was fun, but I loved Glamour. Glamour encouraged down time, gave me lists of 30 things to do before I turned 30 and they had Susan Quick.

Susan Quick introduced me to couscous, rustic pies, homemade ice cream and decadent chocolate pudding cakes that were cooked in huge latte mugs. Her recipes were true to her name--quick and always easy. Inevitably I'd open up the magazine to her page first. Until the one day when I opened Glamour and frantially searched its pages, Susan was gone. I panicked. What was I supposed to do? Were my newly encouraged culinary skills going to get canned like Susan had been? And speaking of cans, was that what I was going to be reduced to? Campbell's Soup, Chili con Carne and Chef Boyardee? I was devastated and it was as if I were going through a break up. I boycotted cooking, magazines and the kitchen until In Style came around a short time later. And then I was sucked back in--recipes, parties, pretty dresses and horoscopes. In the words of Judy Garland, "oh my!"

Over the years my tastes have grown and expanded-- if anything in sheer volume. In Style and Glamour are still very much around, but they have been supplemented with Sunset Magazine, Bon Appetit, Real Simple and a slew of others. At some point I will confess to the number of magazine subscriptions I maintain but not now. We're just getting to know each other and that number feels almost as precious as that pesky number on the scale ... which you don't get to see either.

This morning, while in the middle of a "going on vacation meltdown," I sat on my couch for a few minutes and opened up the Better Homes & Gardens that just arrived. I tagged a few recipes, all of which I think Susan would approve--risotto with lemon and asparagus, chicken breasts with artichokes and crimini mushrooms and tomato and shrimp soup. Spring has arrived! I'm off to Seattle for the weekend, so cooking will have to wait. But you can bet that next week, when I'm in the kitchen--chopping, zesting, roasting and sauteeing--I'll stop for a moment, raise my wine glass and toast my old friend, Susan Quick, who I imagine is somewhere doing the exact same thing.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Bette

My aunt Bette is a badass. She was married to my uncle for about five minutes in the early '60's. They had long since divorced by the time I came around in the mid 70's, but remained friends in the weird way my family does after divorce. Where most couples hate each other and never want to see each other again, my family doesn't believe in such puffery. No, no! We divorce but keep in touch with gusto. Holidays are still kind of odd with everyone showing up in one location and then each going back to their respective homes, alone, after the festivities. It was nice, I suppose, not having to deal with step parents or siblings, but it can become a little confusing--especially when your grandmother breaks her hip and you all go to visit her in the hospital.

"This is Bob, my kids' father," said my grandmother to the nurse she befriended. "Oh, how nice to meet your husband!" the nurse exclaimed, extending her hand to my grandfather. "Oh no, we're divorced, but still friends." My grandmother explained and went on to introduce my father "and this is Ray, my granddaughters father and my daughter Kathy." The nurse asked "your husband?" to my mother. "Oh no, we're divorced but still friends." "Oh!" the nurse exclaimed looking to my aunt and uncle "let me guess. Divorced but still friends?" Bingo.

Bette lived in Manhattan the whole time I was growing up. I had no idea where or what Manhattan was. Afterall, Sex and the City wouldn't come out until years later and I was a self absorbed teenager who thought life revolved around my existence in San Diego. One Thanksgiving it was decided my family would descend upon Bette's cool, childless New York life with our San Diego suburban-ness. I was 13, in 8th grade, big into pegging the bottom of my pants, riding horses and writing notes to my friends. I could usually be found with a phone attached to my ear or nose in a book. My sister was 17, on the drill team, big into teasing her bangs and driving her convertible VW bug down to the tanning salon. I'm pretty sure my aunt took one look at us on her doorstep and wondered what the hell she was thinking.

Bette lived just outside Chelsea, on West 29th Street (in between 6th & 7th if any New Yorkers happen upon this post) and owned an entire floor of an old warehouse. She used half of it for her business and the other half for her residence. Years later, when I could actually take interest in someone older than me, I'd find out that she worked for Food & Wine, with Martha Stewart once (which apparently was more than enough) and as a food stylist. But at that time, if anyone asked me what she did, I'd say "my aunt Bette is an artist like my uncle" and then would stick my nose back into whatever book I was reading. A career as an artist, at that point to me, was normal. My father was an engineer, my mother a teacher--my aunt and uncle were artists, what was the big deal?

We hung out in the city for four days. We climbed to the top of the Statue of Liberty, rode the elevators to the top of the Empire State Building, met my grandmother's actress friend at the Plaza for tea, hit up Balducci's, an outdoor market, ate a pretzel on the street corner, caught the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and rode the subway. The sheer stimulus of the city was incredible. I lived in Suburban San Diego, on a quiet cul-de-sac where I could play four square with the neighbors and ride my bike without fear of getting hit by a car. The New York City streets were about as opposite as you could get from my world--taxis, cars, garbage trucks--you took your life into your hands any time you crossed a street. Instead of shopping at University Town Center where the only two story building at the time was Sears, we shopped in an eight story Macy's. The lights of Times Square were rivaled only by the sheer drama of being able to see the Empire State Building lit up at night from Bette's living room window.

Needless to say, my mind was opened after that trip. The life of an adult now seemed cool and not the tortured, psychosis inducing adulthood of our suburban parents and neighbors. You could have style, excitement and friends who enjoyed a seven course Thanksgiving meal. You could know people who were actresses and liked expensive places like the Plaza. You could find 13 year old children interesting, despite all the reasons their mother told you they weren't. If they could be such interesting people and find me interesting ... than maybe I could ... become something ... become someone?

I would dream about a life in New York from that point forward, I'd read Sassy magazine and think about Jane Pratt and all of her fun friends who lived in the city and wrote articles for girls my age. I'd think about shopping at Balducci's with my aunt and the miniature vegetables she used for photo shoots. I'd think of airy studios and busy New York streets and the possibility of something more.

While I have never lived in New York and honestly don't think I am anywhere cool enough or thick skinned enough to do so, I visit often and love it just as I did then. Bette is now retired, living in Mendocino where she hikes and takes long walks on the rocky Nothern California beaches. I thought of her today. As the days are leading up to Spring, I started craving something sweet and lemony and was reminded of the first dish she ever taught me to make. Easy, delicious and the perfect lazy Sunday morning breakfast, Bette taught me to make these Dutch Babies when I was living in Seattle. I was 22, had just graduated college and was working on becoming the "something" I had dreamed of years prior. I don't know if I'm necessarily there yet, but these pillowy Dutch Babies make me think I'm one step closer.

Bette's New York Dutch Babies

3T butter
3 eggs
3/4 c milk
3/4 c flour

1/2 of a lemon
1/2 c of raspberries
Dash of powdered sugar


Heat oven to 400 degrees. Place butter in a cast iron skillet. If you don't have a cast iron skillet, no worries, I've made these in a 9 inch pie tin too. Once the butter is in the skillet, place the skillet in the oven so the butter melts as the oven heats up.
In a mixing bowl, whisk the eggs, milk and flour together until well combined. By that time the butter should be completely melted--if it isn't, grab another cup of coffee and wait until it is. Grab the skillet from out of the oven, make sure you use a pot holder for goodness sakes, and dump your egg, milk and flour mixture into the melted butter. Place the skillet back into the oven, set the timer for 20 minutes. And in the words of Bette, "no more, no less and whatever you do, DON'T open the oven door until after 20 minutes." She always was a bit of a boss in the kitchen. Once the 20 minutes is up, make sure anyone else who lives in or, ahem, may be visiting your place in the morning is in the kitchen to watch you take this baby out of the oven. It puffs up into something pretty impressive. After you ooh and ahh, squeeze a bit of lemon juice over the top, scatter on a few berries and sift some powdered sugar on the top.

Eat.
Dream.
Read the Times and sip your coffee.
Or you can do what I think I'm about to ... curl up on the couch and watch a few episodes of Sex and the City ... but not before I make a quick call to Bette.

Hope you're having a lazy Sunday,
SSG

Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Single Girl's Fridge

So the mutt stuck her very cold nose in my very tired face this morning and when I cracked open an eye I saw ... was it really ... a ray of sunlight coming through my bedroom window? I literally was outside before I realized I should probably throw something on aside from my pj's (sorry neighbors!) So after a morning spent walking, coffee-ing and throwing a frisbee for the mutt at the dog park I came home a little chilly and a lot hungry. I'm sure I had something delicious just waiting in my fridge!

Or not.

I was faced with dum..dum...dum ... "The Single Girl's Fridge" staring back at me--bottle of champage, Diet Coke and an unopened bag of spinach. Ummmm ... shit.

You see I kind of put myself on a budget, after dropping a grand on a plane ticket this week and all. What oh what could I squeak out of my kitchen to tide me over until I go over to my gay boyfriends' house for dinner where I know I'll be fed properly? After some further rummaging I found some stock, an onion and celery. This was encouraging. When I found a bag of frozen peas (who put frozen peas in my freezer?) I thought I just might be onto something. Especially when I remembered the immersion blender my sister got me for Christmas. Ding ding ding! I'd make some soup. Get this, it actually turned out! And I think it will tide me over for the gluttony that the GBFs said is coming tonight:

Wade: Jimmy's making dinner tonight and breaking out the deep fryer want to come over?
SSG: Um ... I GUESS I'll break from my healthy eating habits just this once, but only because it's you guys.
Wade: (After much hysterical laugher) Ok we'll see you at 5:30.
SSG: What's so funny?

Here's my serendipitous soup recipe! Ummm ... what to call it ... oh I know:

"What -to-Eat-Before-You-Go-to-Your-Cruel-GBF's-House-for-Dinner Soup"

1T butter
1/2 c. chopped onion
1 stalk of celery chopped
2 cups frozen peas
2 cups (or 1 can) of vegetable stock
2 cups of spinach
1 t lemon juice or vinegar
Salt & Pepper

Heat butter in saucepan over medium heat. When it's bubbly and smelling yummy and you're tempted to lick it right out of the pan, don't. Add in the onion and celery and 1/2t of salt and 1/4 t of pepper instead. Swirl the celery and onion around in the butter and I dare you not to recall some Thanksgiving memory (what is it about butter, celery and onion cooking on the stovetop?). After about 3 or 4 minutes add in the frozen peas and vegetable stock, kick that burner up to high until the whole thing starts to boil then cover the pan and reduce the heat to low. Simmer for 5 or 6 minutes, add in the spinach and stir everything around a few times before covering the pot back up again. Let the spinach wilt (about 2 or 3 minutes). Turn off the stove. Now the fun begins. Break out that immersion blender that's been gathering dust (or that may just be MY immersion blender) and blend until desired consistency--try to keep it all in the pan, or if you insist upon getting it all over the place aim for the floor where your dog can clean it up for you. Add in the teaspoon of lemon juice or vinegar, stir and serve with salt and pepper to taste. If you happen to have some left over sour cream from um, a frozen burrito that you ate the other day (hey, at least it was Amy's Organic!) then throw a dollop of that on top. I did and it was yummy.

2 Hefty Servings (or if you're like me and are constantly planning a 7 course dinner party that you never have, then it would serve 4 as an appetizer)

Hope you're having a serendipitous Saturday of your own!
SSG