The Real House Dogs of Portland Oregon

I haven't had too much sleep over the last couple of nights.  It's a shock to ones system, waking up at 4:30 a.m. again for TWO DAYS in a ROW after lounging around for the bulk of December.

How do I normally do it?  I set my cell phone alarm and put my phone out in the hallway.  

Why in the hallway?  

I have to get OUT of bed to turn the annoying thing off.  Once up, not only does Fisher think it's time for breakfast, but by that time I can smell the coffee brewing in the automatic coffee pot I set the night before.  (Tricking me into doing something is MUCH more successful when there is fresh coffee involved.)

Most nights I slip into bed pretty early, but these last couple have had me up later than normal.  I've had some work to catch up on and I still don't think my body takes it seriously that we're back to early mornings ... and really, after last month who can blame it?

Fisher is usually at my feet, passed out while I'm working in my office.  One ear cocked and ready for the computer to shut down--her cue to bomb down the hall to go to bed.  If you don't think you're a creature of habit, get a dog and watch them respond to ALL of the nonverbal cues you're not even aware you give off.  My friend recently housesat for me, she has a studio in downtown Portland that doesn't allow pets and wanted some dog and house time.  When I got back she asked, "when you come back from walking the dog, do you always go to your office?"

"Yeah, probably.  Why?"

"Fisher ran up there after I took her for a walk and wouldn't come down until I checked my e-mail.  She looked at me like 'Hello?  You're FORGETTING to DO something here."

Where was I again?

Oh YEAH.

So last night I shut down the computer and waited to hear the typical Fisher scramble, but when I looked down, she was gone.

I had this moment of panic--like did I leave her outside?  I don't THINK I left her in my car.  Ohmahgah did I leave the front door open?!  Was I supposed to pick her up at doggy daycare hours ago?

No.  I clearly remembered her being around earlier.

I checked in my room.  She wasn't there.  I called her name.  She didn't come running.  I looked in the bathroom where I keep Rainy's food and water dishes.  I didn't see her tail sticking out from behind the bathroom counters.

"Pupalah where are you?!"  I called as I walked downstairs.

Nothing.

And that's when I found her.

Tucked into MY spot on the couch watching the Real Housewives of Orange County.

Next thing I know she's going to ask me to buy her a Mercedes and some bling.

#2 - These Two

Um, please note the touching of paws.  Does anything else need to be said?  Nah.  I didn't think so either.

A Message from the Mutt

Hello Everyone!

I'm Fisher.  Aren't I cute?  That's what my mommy always says.  I don't know what it means, but its usually followed by hugs, kisses and cookies, so it must be good.  She had to go to a baby shower today, so I'm home all by myself.  But my mom wanted me to pop by and tell you that she hopes you're all having a great weekend.   She also said something about praying to god that there weren't any games involving chocolate bars in diapers at this baby shower thingy.

I don't know why--games, chocolate and diapers all sound good to me.

Love,

Fisher

P.S.  Does anyone have a tennis ball?  What about a Frisbee?

Weekend ABC's

A - Is for Atonement, the movie that I watched this weekend.

B - Is for blubbering, which is what I did during the ENTIRE aforementioned movie.

C - Is for cookies, what I made to make me feel better after the above.

D - Is for Dog, who looks at me like like I'm the most pitiful human she's ever seen (see above for photographic evidence) when I am simultaneously bawling my eyes out and stuffing my face full of cookies.

E - Is for Elephants at the Portland Zoo who celebrated their 47th & 25th birthdays today, to that I give a "Uuuuuummmmmppppphhhhffff, birthday shout out!"

F - Is for Finslippy who gives me hope that you can still be a loving mom even though you occasionally think that children are monsters.

G - Is for Google Analytics for measuring precisely how unpopular I am on the internet (with graphs no less!) and taking away the scale's reigning crown for displaying the numbers that make me want to crawl under the covers with a pint or twelve of Haagen Das.

H - Is for Haagen Das Mayan Chocolate or Coffee Ice Creams.  Other makers of the ice cream, just go ahead and give up now.

I - Is for I Am Bossy who is in Portland tonight, yet I have no idea where because I am too chicken shit to have found out for fear that the cool group wouldn't let me enter their smart and witty fun club.

J - Is for Jake Peavy who is a genius pitcher even when he doesn't have his best stuff.  I heart Jake Peavy and his Alabama accent.  (Side note to Padres:  Can we kick the offense up a notch?  To like 12 runs when Chris Young is pitching?  Thanks!)

K - Is for "Killing me," which is exactly what Sunday nights (and Saturday's Padres game) should change its name to.

L - Is for Laughter which is what I did during a catch up with Spleen.

M - Is for Morning Radio Show Host which would be a job I'd like to try and TOTALLY rock the Casbah at.

N - Is for Nick, the name that should be synonymous with "player" (3 and counting!).

O - Is for OMG, I'm going to France in September!!!

P - Is for Paris which is where I'll be in just a few short months!

Q - Is for Quiet, something I will never be accused of being ... especially at work ... especially at about 2 in the afternoon when I get a maniacal case of giggles.

R - Is for Run for cover if you're ever around me when I start the above.

S - Is for Suffocate, which is what I think my coworkers would like to do to me.

T - Is for Trophy Cupcakes who stole my heart a mere three weeks ago.

U - Is for Uuuuuuummmmpffffhhh!  Which is TOTALLY the way you say Happy Birthday! to elephants.  Duh.

V - Is for Vajayjay, I hear Grey's Anatomy is comin' back ladies!

W - Is for Wooden Shoe Tulips in Woodburn, OR.  I was there today with the rest of the state celebrating the one day of spring we get this year ... which unfortunately occurred yesterday.

X - Is for X-Rated, which are my dreams when John Cusack is involved. 

Y - Is for Yes! The best word in any language.

Z - Is for Zzz, which is supposed to emulate the sound of a person snoring, and what I hope I didn't make you just do with this post!

XOXO, 

SSG

The President of the "I Hate Sunday Nights Club"

I Could be a "Real" Housewife!

This weekend's plans were ambitious:

1) Reorganize the kitchen so I can actually find the smoked paprika if I decided I ever wanted to use it.
2) Catch up on saved episodes of "The Real Housewives of New York City" before my DVR explodes.

I am happy to say one of those tasks was seen through to completion. The mutt was happy with my choice.

You know those US Weekly pages that show the stars "Are Just Like Us!" There may be a photograph of Reese & Jake at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf or Jennifer Aniston picking up her dog's crap on the beach. Well, despite the fact that I'm single and live in the Northwest, this weekend made me realize that Serendipitous Girl is Just Like the NYC Housewives!

1) I too have had A LOT of cocktails in New York City bars!
2) I also have a gay husband just like Alex.
3) My mutt has doggy play dates like LuAnn and Jill's dogs do.
4) Ramona is just as annoying as my mother.
5) I also roll my eyes at my mother just like Avery does! Never mind that she's 12 and I'm ... a few years older.
6) Bethenny's body? It's like looking in a mirror! (What's so funny, guys? Guys?)
7) Just like LuAnn, I have a Count in my life. He's actually a good friend of my three year old niece and her best friend, Elmo.

So if the above is any indicator, I believe I have the makings of my own show. Come watch Serendipitous Girl as she rides the MAX train to work, stares at numbers all day, watches the Food Network and shops the frozen prepared food aisle at Trader Joe's.

Bravo, I'll be expecting your call.

My Mangy Mutt

I knew I wanted a dog since ... oh, I don't know ... birth. I was equally boy and animal crazy growing up. We always had a family dog and I also had a horse, so there was the inevitable influx of animals on the ranch where I boarded my horse--kittens, puppies, geese, you name it, we had it and I tried to bring every baby version of whatever animal I could home. To which my practical mother always said "nope." I'm sure that did nothing to fuel the already burning fire.

But then college entered the picture and you can't have a dog in the dorms, or in the house you share with roommates who don't share your canine fascinations. So finally years later and after buying my first place in Portland, I decided this was the time. I was going to go "just look" for a puppy at the Humane Society.

Walking through the Humane Society in Portland is actually not as depressing as I thought it was going to be. It's a bright, large, well run organization and the dogs all appered to be happy, clean and ready to find good homes. I wanted to say yes to all of them, and had I not gotten distracted, I probably would have.

I turned the corner of one of the aisles and ran smack dab into a huge pen of chubby yellow puppies all of whom were rolling on top of each other, barking and jumping and were quite possibly the cutest sight I've ever seen. All of a sudden one puppy came from the back of the pen and walked to the glass, right in front of me looking at me the entire time and then sat down and cocked her head as if to say "you ready to go?"

I asked the volunteer if I could see her, picked her up and cuddled her in my arms for a little while before asking her if she wanted to come home with me. At that question she literally put both of her paws on my face and gave me a wholehearted lick. Done deal. Two days later I had my puppy.

I'm sure there will be many stories of my mutt on this blog as she constantly charms me, cracks me up, drives me crazy and comforts me. The last couple of days I've been home with the flu--a coughing mess with no voice and runny eyes and a lack of ability to do anything other than sleep or watch movies I've already seen 100 times. But she's been here the whole time, curled up at my feet, poking her head up when I have a bad coughing spell and resting her head on my leg when it's over.
And so, to those of you fellow dog lovers, you know as well as I do--not only do they choose us, but they take care of us way more than we take care of them.