It's Monday ... For Most of You

But for SSG it's VACATION!

I am currently blogging (almost live) from Southern California.  Where in just a few short hours, I will be going to .... wait for it ...

STORY TIME AT BARNES AND NOBLE!

SSG lives on the edge like crazy, yo.  

I came down to my sister's place on Saturday morning (special shout out to Predo for driving me to the airport at the ass crack of dawn!) and after flying into the cutest little airport I've ever seen in mah life ... Burbank ... okay wait, Santa Barbara's was the cutest but Burbank definitely ranks #2. 

I got picked up by my sister, brother in law, my almost 4 year old niece and 2 year old nephew.  My niece remembered me but my nephew looked at me, slightly suspect, with a furrowed brow like "um, who is this smiley, pale woman who thinks she's going to sit next to me?"  Once I complimented him on his froggy rain boots however, we were BFF's again.  Just like we were the first six months of his life when anytime I visited he was permanently attached to me in a Baby Bjorn and I told him every hour on the hour that even when he was 23 I'd still be carrying him around like that.

Wait, where was I again?

Oh yeah.

We were off to Santa Monica to meet up with one of my college roommates, the super hot dodge ball playing, Spleendawg.  After some lunch, a walk on the beach and Pinkberry yogurt SSG decided she will be moving to Santa Monica.  And will drive around in a cherry red convertible VW Bug with a cream colored top.  And meet and marry Michael Vartan.  So um, yes SSG has some work to do.

I haven't seen my niece and nephew for almost a year, which is WAY TOO LONG.  My niece has actual conversations now.  Which Spleen and I found out when she overheard us talking about Spleen's boyfriend.  "I have a boyfriend!"  She said.  "His name is Mikey!  He goes to my school and we play and eat lunch and hold hands and read books!"  Spleen and SSG stared at her open mouthed.

And then it was decided immediately.  Over the next week SSG's niece has agreed to become SSG's relationship guru.

In exchange, SSG has begun to teach her about comedic timing. 

After starting off with a few knock knock jokes, we eased into some riddles.  For example:

 

Where does an elephant keep his spare tire?

In his TRUNK!  

SSG is HUGE amongst the pre-K crowd.

"Wait!  I have a joke!"  SSG's niece yelled.

SSG: What?!  You're writing your own material now?!

Niece:  YES!

SSG:  Okay, let's hear it!

Niece:  Ummm ... where does a CHEETAH keep it's babies?

SSG:  Where?!

Niece:  In a TREE!

Next lesson?  The Fine Art of Punch Lines.