Confessions of a (Sometimes!) Serendipitous Girl

Saying Goodbye to the (Sometimes!) Serendipitous Girl

2009-09-12T08:11:00.001-07:00

Well My Dear Readers,

The time has come.

When I started Confessions of a (Sometimes!) Serendipitous Girl I desperately needed something. A framework with which to wrap my experience.

I had been struggling for a while.

I was in pretty deep. Deep in the muck of reliving and making peace with past experiences. Opening old wounds and giving them room to breathe left me reeling. Forgetting which end was up. Wondering where the old me went.

The old me that used to see the world as beautiful. Fun. Positive.

Confessions of a (Sometimes!) Serendipitous Girl helped me focus on the fun again ... the daily aspects of my life that I may have let slip by if I didn't pay attention to them.

Serendipitous means making fortunate discoveries accidentally. Little did I know how true that would be. Or how much I would learn about myself during this process over the past 20 months.

But it is time to bid Confessions farewell. The decision has been a difficult one.

I have mulled it over for months. Struggling against it not feeling fresh around here. Questioning whether or not I was being authentic. Something just didn't feel right.

Eventually I realized that I needed to step out of the frame with which I had surrounded myself. Serendipitous is about things that happen to you. Accidents. Fortunate, yes. But what happens when you're ready to start making things happen for yourself?

I am ready for that.

I am ready to start taking the steps toward a future that is no longer defined by the past. But instead, a future based on what I see for myself. A future designed in my dreams.

And so, it's time to end this chapter and get to work on making those dreams a reality.

I can't thank you enough for all of your support and encouragement. For stopping by here on a daily basis and seeing what I was up to. SSG is a HUGE part of me and I giggled recently when a friend was asked at a party "will SSG be here?"

Luckily, I am keeping my moniker and will still be SSG to you ... I hope.

You didn't think I was leaving all of you lovlies, did you?

No, pumpkins. No.

I am simply turning the page and writing my next chapter. Won't you come join me?

The Simply Savvy Girl's Guide

I do so hope you will, it wouldn't be the same without you!

Flashback!

2009-09-09T22:48:00.001-07:00

Did you guys know that MELROSE PLACE is BACK ON?!

SSG remembers piling into the TV room in her college dorm with all the ladies on the floor (and SOME of the guys who PRETENDED they didn't care what happened) to watch Melrose each week.

I distinctly remember the SCREAMS when we found out that Kimberly was ALIVE!

The Fish and I snuggled in on the couch to check it out ... for nostalgia purposes only.

The twists!

The turns!

The DRAMA!

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz?

SSG ... er ... I MEAN Fisher can hardly wait to see what happens next.

THIS Drive Should Be On a Map

2009-09-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

SSG does love a scenic drive. And over her vacation there were PLENTY.

Country roads.

Coastal roads.

Roads to the houses of friends.

Roads to the drive thru of Sonic.

But none compare to the road SSG drove on today.

This is SSG's drive into work.

SSG didn't take this picture because ... well ... it's GOOD. So thanks to Google Images and the 100 places it's posted. SSG isn't sure who to credit. But anonymous cameraperson? Well done.

So anyhoo, SSG drives in and out of downtown Portland on this road that parallels the Willamette River. On sunny mornings the paths are filled with bikers and joggers. And almost every afternoon during the summer a festival is either being set up or taken down and SSG wants to yell at the people who take THEIR SWEET TIME walking across the street allowing only one car to turn right on a green signal.

But that isn't what this is about.

THIS is about what was going down today on the grassy area in that photo up there which is known as Tom McCall Waterfront Park.

TODAY.

Internets.

SSG was driving home when she saw ...

Dudes.

Playing.

Football.

And not just ANY dudes.

But Portland FIREFIGHTER dudes.

How did she know they were firefighters? Because not only were they all HOT. They all wore the telltale navy t-shirts (oh how I heart you navy t-shirts) that said "Portland Fire Dept."

FIREFIGHTERS. Playing. Football.

In.

Front.

Of.

SSG's.

Very.

Eyes.

SSG is PRETTY sure that's exactly what heaven looks like.

(SSG would also like to take this time to apologize to the red Mazda she almost rear ended.)

Last Day of Vacation

2009-09-07T21:46:00.001-07:00

So it's Monday evening and here I sit in my office thinking back over the last ELEVEN days I've had off ... how quickly they go.

I head back to work tomorrow, which actually is a good thing. I seem to have buried myself in projects around the house. It seems like when you have one area torn up, everything else gets torn up and pretty soon you're sleeping on your balcony because there is no room in your house.

Not really.

But I am tempted.

There IS a gorgeous yellow moon out tonight, hanging just above the horizon.

Anyhoo ... a few of the shots from my quick trip down to the beach made possible by Oscar (Predo's dog) and Fisher's Auntie K. Thanks again Auntie K! It was lovely!

Though it wasn't so lovely when I first drove in ...

Within an hour though, the meh headed east.

And Predo & I took the dogs down to the beach ... and YES, that would be my dog LAYING DOWN in the water.

Oh! But we're up again and ready to chase the tennis ball.

This was the beach house that Auntie K and I decided would be just fine if it belonged to one of us.

The Cape Cod shingles, white trim and adirondack chairs just screamed Labor Day weekend. The only thing missing was one of the Kennedys.

This was SSG's spot that distracted her while she got a sunburn.

Okay and maybe THIS distracted her a little bit too ...

SSG now has a permanent pattern on her chest and left arm of the t-shirt she was wearing ... a rosy end to what was a wonderfully relaxing summer vacation.

Hope your weekends were fabulous ... and slightly less pink inducing.

xo,

Off to the Beach!

2009-09-05T07:32:00.001-07:00

Hope you all have lovely Labor Day weekends!

xo,

Just Peachy

2009-09-03T08:16:00.001-07:00

SSG loves country roads and farm stands and decided to hit the road yesterday to see what she could find.

"Open" is such a good word when it comes to farm signs don't you think?

Jossy Farms is in the Willamette Valley and grows apples, pears and PEACHES.

FARM FRESH. RIPE. PEACHES. Internets. It's worth shouting.

I think you'll agree?

A late summer day, walking through a peach orchard?

B-L-I-S-S

And please note Oregon's sunny skies. SSG would like to be balanced on her Oregon weather reporting because ... ahem ... she hasn't always been. Namely in DECEMBER 2008 (she's looking at you 2 week "Artic Blast".)

After this, an SSG can get a little hungry--she had heard a Sonic Burger came to town and was near where SSG was. SSG is nothing if not a fan of research.

Do you guys have Sonics near you? It was DELICIOUS--especially this frozen strawberry limeade slushy thing. Just typing that made SSG wonder if they're open yet. Which isn't a problem unless ... you know, it's 8:30 a.m. and 20 miles away. WHICH IT IS.

(But SO worth it.)

I swung by an apple orchard on my way home and grabbed some McIntosh apples to make some applesauce. Because YUM.

And these ...

Dahlias are SSG's favorite flowers. I think they look much happier at Chez SSG in a Bonne Maman jam jar, don't you?

Nothing cuter than flowers in a jelly jar. I think the residents of Chez SSG agree.

Please Make Her Stop

2009-09-01T21:01:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Bob took this picture over the weekend.

How can you say no to this precious face?!

Easy.

You don't.

Kitchen Musings

2009-08-31T22:17:00.000-07:00

The problem with being on a stay-cation is that SSG has time to ruminate over her kitchen. More specifically ... all of the things that annoy her about her kitchen.

Today she even made a list.

It literally was titled "Things About My Kitchen That Annoy Me."

There are lots of them.

The complete lack of storage.

The clutter.

The utter lack of style.

SSG wants to be calmed and soothed. But she also would like to be inspired and welcomed.

(IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FROM YOU, KITCHEN?!)

So she's been looking around for inspiration.

And kind of liked what these two rooms have goin' on.

Especially since SSG currently has two gallons of Restoration Hardware's "Latte" paint that have been sitting in her garage unopened for um ... four years.

I KNOW! I KNOW! SSG has a hard time deciding on things. But they'll still be totally good, right?

So anyhoo ... SSG woke up and was thinking about her kitchen.

Then went to the dentist and was thinking about her kitchen.

Then came home and stood in her kitchen thinking about her kitchen.

And finally screamed.

And then went and saw the movie Julie & Julia.

Where for a couple of blissful hours she enjoyed thinking about someone else's kitchen.

Vacation Weekend

2009-08-30T20:25:00.001-07:00

Can SSG just say ...

She LOVES vacations.

Friday morning Fisher and I each threw a bag in the car--mine filled with nightcreams and jammies, hers filled with tennis balls and cookies. We headed up to Seattle to visit the Bobs.

We made a quick stop on the way. And if you were judging by Fisher's reaction you would have thought we had landed at our final destination. She was SO excited. Like perked up ears, tongue hanging out of her mouth, tail wagging couldn't wait to get out of the car excited. Like the whole place was built with cookies and tennis balls excited.

It was a rest stop.

Off Interstate 5.

Wutz?

The reason for the trip was the John Legend & India Arie concert at the Chateau Ste. Michelle Winery. And SSG has decided ...

Best concert venue EVER.

Because you can bring in this ...

And buy lots of this ...

It was Fisher's first road trip and so she was a little confused when we came back to the house and I said "ready to go night night?" She went to the front door like "Okayz! We go homez nowz?"

Saturday we hit up SSG's favorite breakfast spot on the PLANET. SSG has been coming to this place ever since she lived in Seattle which was ... oh mah lawd ... twelve years ago. Everyone knows when we come to Seattle, we go to The Maltby Cafe.

Their eggs are the whitest of white with thick orange yolks and they make the best homemade biscuits and strawberry jam. It also doesn't hurt that they bring out mochas topped with thick whipped cream ... and are only too happy to make them a double if you maybe had too much wine the night before. Oh yes, and their homemade cinnamon rolls could feed a small country.

There's a cute little antique place across the parking lot with some great stuff ...

And isn't this espresso stand SO CUTE?! Is it weird that occasionally SSG thinks about working in a drive thru espresso stand and chatting with customers every morning?

Would you come by and visit if she worked here?

Eventually we had to leave Seattle and bomb back down I-5 to make it to Predo's Jimmy's huge birthday bash.

A twee bit late.

Oopsie.

They were just putting all the food away when SSG arrived. As things were getting packed up and put in the fridge, SSG was taking them out of the fridge and putting them on a plate. Best party guest ever.

But she did make in time to sing "Happy Birthday" to the birthday boy ... not once, but twice. After the party wound down a few people stayed behind to hang out around a table on the deck, drink and suck helium out of balloons gracing Jimmy with a Chipmunks rendition of the birthday song.

SSG about fell out of her chair when Predo starting rapping a Public Enemy song after sucking an entire balloon full of helium.

SSG was a bad blogger and didn't take any pictures except for this one ...

A tupperware container of birthday cake and a red boa.

Which actually sums up a night at Predo & Jimmy's perfectly.

Tomorrow is Monday!!

And SSG has it off!!

In case you hadn't heard.

SSG is on VACAY!

First Day of Vacation

2009-08-28T06:48:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning dreaming of Paris.

In my dream I had just spent the weekend there and had come home in order to take classes with a woman who was going to teach me how to make bread.

These?

Are dreams of a girl on vacation.

And I like it.

A (Sometimes!) Kind of Day

2009-08-26T21:23:00.000-07:00

Oh My. We're onto the bullets ...

I am down to ONE functioning bra internets. This also may be a direct correlation to how many brain cells SSG has left.
I WAS on a 3 bra rotation, 5 if you count the two umm ... racy ones (shhhh). I felt the telltale stabbing of a broken underwire TWICE this week and have a WAR WOUND to prove it. No Predo, you can't see it. (Okay, maybe just a little peek on Saturday.)
As of 2 (hopefully!) p.m. tomorrow, SSG will OFFICIALLY be on vacay through LABOR DAY. Can SSG get a what what?!
That big deal of SSG's that was supposed to be finished uh ... hmmm ... was it about a month ago now? Yeah, it's still not finalized. Please take a moment to pray for SSG's deal to be wrapped up tomorrow. (And WELL before 2 p.m!)
A new guy started at SSG's work and has been hangin' with the lunch posse this week. Today SSG mentioned that she recently turned 35 and he yelled "WHAT?! You'd never be able to tell." SSG was flattered ... and then immediately offended.
But then one of her other coworkers said "I seriously thought you were 25 when I first started."
And then SSG yelled at all of them "DUDES! THIRTY FIVE IS NOT OLD! But thank you. Wait, is it my maturity level that made you think I was 25?"
ALLEGEDLY it isn't.
I have a new neighbor. Or my next door neighbor has a new girlfriend. Anyhoo, she LOVES Fisher. And talks to her repeatedly. Which makes Fisher bark. But also makes Fisher look for her ... by sitting out on the back deck and occasionally barking hoping this chick will come out and tell her how cute she is. Which would be ADORABLE. If it weren't SO ANNOYING.
SSG was given a necklace this week. An um ... blingy necklace. An um ... not really SSG's style kind of necklace (SSG isn't very blingy). It was so enormous that the following are actual comments she received just by taking it out of the box "Um, WHAT IS THAT?" "Hey, is that the bathing suit top from last years Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover?" "I'm guessing whoever gave you that doesn't like you very much."
Granted SSG works with dudes, but even my lady friends that work at the Starbucks downstairs saw Work BFF helping me untangle this um ... necklace/bathing suit top/bedazzzled t-shirt in the lobby of our building and asked us "what in the HELL were you guys holding up out there?" Which made Work BFF laugh so hard he couldn't talk.

Come on SERENDIPITOUS part of SSG's name, she knows you're out there somewhere ...

The $40 Foodie

2009-08-24T04:00:00.000-07:00

Hello Lovlies!

Thanks AGAIN for putting up with me and my absence. Two more weeks (ish) and things will be back to normal. SSG promises. Until then, things will be kind of scattered. Just like SSG.

So! This weekend I got sucked into a book thanks to Digs. The book is called Shutter Island and it was GOOD. And creepy. And worth checking out once fall comes to the rest of the country ... it's already starting to come to Portland. Finish up your summer beach reads but definitely put this one on your list for those early dark nights when you want to cuddle up in front of the fireplace and get sucked into a page turner. Just keep your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/half golden retriever-half cattle dog handy to cling onto during the scary parts.

This is SSG's measly grocery haul this week. It came to $29.64. This week is kind of short because I head up to Seattle on Friday and have Jimmy's birthday (Predo's Jimmy) on Saturday.

Zee menu is as follows ...

Sunday - Spaghetti & Meatballs

Monday - Egg Salad Sandwiches & Carrot Slaw

Tuesday - Chicken Enchiladas (from the freezer)

Wednesday - Spinach Salad with warm bacon dressing

Thursday - Chicken Tagine (from the freezer)

You might notice that uh ... about 1/2 of SSG's grocery budget was spent on caffeine and sugar. And you can bet she needs EVERY ounce of both of those things to see her through the next four days at work.

Funny side note ... SSG doesn't drink too much soda but every once and a while she gets a HANKERING (yeah, she said it) for a Coke. So she was just looking for a can. But they don't sell Cokes by the single can anymore. So she was just going to buy a small bottle. But they don't sell single small bottles anymore. You can only buy a liter. But it was $1.50. And TWO liters was $1.05. Ummm ... can someone please explain this to SSG? And would you like a glass of Coke while you do? She has some to spare.

The spaghetti and meatballs SSG made last night required simmering. And stirring. And lots of simmering and stirring. But she had company the whole time ...

U drop someting for meez maybeez? i yikez sum saus. And cookeez.

And CHECK OUT SSG's new purchase that also kept her company in the kitchen last night ...

Isn't it CUTE?! It was the last one in the store and I swear a lady was following me around just hoping I'd set it down.

As. IF.

SSG almost brought it upstairs so she could wake up next to it.

Did YOU buy anything fun and frivolous this weekend?

Moo Shu Pork Recipe

2009-08-19T05:59:00.000-07:00

For my last couple of years at San Diego State University (go Aztecs!) I lived in a little three bedroom house on 63rd Street with Spleen and Digs. Our house was so close to campus that one night Digs walked into a coffee shop to study with Spleen, set her backpack on the table and fell into a chair right before our cat walked in behind her as if he owned the place.

It was on 63rd Street that I was introduced to hoisin sauce. The thick and sticky sauce is made primarily from a combination of soybeans, vinegar, sugar and chilies and has a savory and sweet balance that make it right up SSG's alley. SSG digs on complexity. When it comes to food. Everything else she likes as easy and uncomplicated as possible.

So hoisin sauce was a staple around the 63rd Street casa, stirred into broccoli beef, poured over chicken and vegetable stir fry and even occasionally licked directly off the spoon by yours truly.

SSG hadn't cooked with hoisin sauce for a LONG time but was transported right back to college when she tasted a bit of this recipe. It's from the September issue of Family Circle magazine and cooks in the slow cooker. Or as Digs and I say "you can CROCK it." The trick is to save some of the sauce for the very end of the cooking time. It brightens up the flavor and I'd even venture a guess that leaving some of the coleslaw mix to stir in right before serving would lend itself well to a satisfying crunch.

Satisfying, tasty and simple. Just like life on 63rd Street.

Family Circle's Moo Shu Pork Recipe

I Got Nothin

2009-08-18T06:05:00.001-07:00

So SSG is working on a new project, one she hopes to be able to share with you in the next few weeks but it seems to be sucking up ALL of her creative momentum.

And so SSG has nothing. Isn't that AWESOME?

I have been staring at the computer screen for the last 1/2 hour and still. NOTHING. So I figured I'd share that with you!

Oh yes and these things ...

It is going to be in the mid 90's for the next two days. But after ONE HUNDRED AND SIX DEGREE TEMPS and no AC for a week? SSG's like a war veteran. She's all "Eh. No biggie."
SSG is currently addicted to House Hunters. Like a-ddic-TED. Like 3 episodes a night addicted. Luckily that couple in Paris bought the same apartment that SSG was yelling at them to buy or there would have been some WORDS exchanged. A one way exchange. But whatever.
And why do they call them "apartments" in Paris despite the fact that you buy them? I suppose Paris Condo doesn't have the same ring to it.
SSG's 401k plan statements get filed in a folder that says "Paris Apartment." No lie. SSG figures it's much easier to save for a Paris Apartment than a tax code. WHERE'S THE IMAGINATION RETIREMENT PLANS? SSG asks you. Perhaps she could help you with yo marketing.
The Moo Shoo pork I made on Sunday was good! I will post the recipe. I'd do it now, but that would mean I'd have to walk downstairs to the kitchen and well ... that would take some effort.
Despite the Moo Shoo pork being good, it wasn't WOW worthy. And SSG wonders if she will ever be wowed by food again. Perhaps she needs to have a chat with her taste buds.
Predo's Jimmy makes wow worthy food all the time. SSG tries to watch him in the kitchen, but he moves quick. And SSG is usually focused. On her cocktail.
Speaking of Predo & Jimmy, they totally doorbell ditched me on my birthday and left behind a fun basket of goodies which was MUCH NICER than the times I used to doorbell ditch as a kid.
Spleen and Digs were super sneaky and found out my favorite Portland breakfast spot and made it possible for me to head over there for breakie. My favorite meal of the day. Aside from happy hour, of course.
I go on vacation starting August 27th at 4:00 p.m. (maybe earlier if I can swing it). So if I have any readers left, that's only EIGHT MORE WORKING DAYS.
And don't think ah don't remind Work BFF of that. Daily.

Smoochies,

Oh Mah Lawsy

2009-08-16T13:57:00.001-07:00

Oh hello!

Did ah like forget ah gots a blaaaawwwg or what?! Good lawd, last week was crazy!

Between my ginormous deal at work, hot Predo's birthday, my birthday and a party in the swank Pearl District last night. This girl has been. On. The. MOVE. And if you know nothing else about SSG, you know that she likes to move as little as possible.

Even Fisher stared up at me from the front seat of the car one night, curled up in a ball, as if to say "Can I just sleep HERE. You don't need me to like get out or something do you?"

So how are YOU lovlies?! I promise to come around and visit and see what all you've been up to!

But for now, The $40 Foodie for the week!

Grand total: $34.33 ($5.67 under budget + $4.04 under budget for the month = $9.71 under budget)

Target: $8.27

Albertsons: $26.06

Dinners for the week:

Sunday - Slow Cooked Moo Shu Pork with rice

Monday - Breakfast for dinner (eggs, potatoes, fruit & toast)

Tuesday - Roast chicken, salad & pesto potato salad

Wednesday - Chicken enchiladas and salad

Thursday - (From the freezer) Chicken Tangine, carrot slaw and rice

Some of you might be thinking "that's a lot of chicken and yet I don't see any chicken in the photo." Well aren't you smart!

My plan is to stop and buy a rotisserie chicken on Tuesday night. I also need to pick up some mushrooms--I find that they don't stay fresh in my refrigerator for more than a day or two. So the $9 that I'm over will go to those two items. Chicken is on sale this week for $1.99 a pound, so if I get ambitious I miiiight just cook up a pound of chicken on my own and forgo the rotisserie but it's supposed to be 95 degrees this week so uh ... I'll let you guess what will probably end up happening!

A few of you asked about the black bean burgers I mentioned last week. Here is the recipe, I just substituted the black beans for the butter beans.

Black Bean Burgers

I found them just okay--nothing to be wowed over ... although is it possible to be wowed over a black bean burger? Perhaps my expectations are too high. I did find them kicked up a notch by this pesto ...

This is the recipe I used, substituting the pine nuts for walnuts because um ... I'm cheap and I had them on hand.

Pesto

This pesto is good, but REALLY thick. Spleen has one that's a lot thinner, so I'll try and see if she can give it to me. Again. SSG miiiight have asked for it once or twice before but never remember where she puts it. Perhaps our little Spleen will take pity on us.

This week should be a lot quieter, so I should be back in action. I've missed it around here!

xoxo,

Menu for the Week

2009-08-09T09:26:00.000-07:00

Breakfasts will be a fruit, yogurt, muffin, egg, toast combo. Whatever sounds good each morning.
Lunches are usually leftovers from the night before.
Dinners for the week are as follows:

Sunday - Pasta with slow cooked meat sauce

Monday - Breakfast for dinner (bacon, eggs, potatoes & fruit)

Tuesday - Black Bean burgers with carrot slaw

Wednesday - Pasta with homemade pesto and salad

Thursday - Grilled turkey and avocado sandwiches with salad

After getting some feedback, I'll be doing a weekly round up, probably on Fridays of what my favorites for the week were. I'll either provide a link to the recipe or use my mad photo skillz to show you what I've been eating ... though I don't know that my photography will necessarily entice you!

Have any recipes to share? Send them to sometimesserendipitousgirl@gmail.com.

Have great Sundays!

The $40 Foodie & Why I Went to Starbucks Against My Will

2009-08-08T10:44:00.001-07:00

So I didn't intend to go to Starbucks this morning. I had just finished a perfectly good cup of coffee at home. But then I got on the road to head to the grocery store. And then I miiiiiight have cut a police car off.

But didn't notice until it was following me. Closely.

Oopsie.

SSG started to sweat a little. And decided to make the next right hand turn. She signaled WELL BEFORE she started to turn.

And then the cop turned behind her.

So SSG decided to pull into a parking lot.

And then the cop turned into the parking lot.

And then SSG wondered what the heeeeellll she was going to do once in the aforementioned parking lot.

And that's when she spied a Starbucks. Which um, shocker ... but brilliant! SSG would go to Starbucks.

So she pulled into a parking spot.

And the the cop pulled into a parking space next to SSG.

FFFFFF.

SSG decided to go ahead and play dumb. So she didn't make eye contact, hopped out of her car, slammed the door, then jogged across the parking lot and stood in line at Starbucks and was going "Lalalala, just waitin' in line at Starbucks (whistles) nothing to see here! NO I do NOT have cops following me! Why would you think such a thing? GAH."

And then the cops came into Starbucks.

And SSG wondered if they could pull her over in LINE. In front of EVERYONE. And if her jogging across the parking lot would have been seen as evading arrest

Or if there was some statute of limitations that prevented SSG from getting a ticket once she ordered an iced Americano.

So she ordered an iced Americano.

And then the cops ordered coffees.

And that's when SSG realized.

The cops WERE JUST GOING TO GET THEIR MORNING COFFEE.

And SSG wonders if her brain formulated that whole experience just to justify getting this:

So anyhoo! How were your mornings?

What you came here for the $40 Foodie? Okay.

Grocery tally ...

Trader Joe's: $42.98

Albertson's: $11.20

Think SSG's over budget? Think again! Total for the week is $54.18, combine that with last week's groceries and my accidental Starbucks run ($1.90) I'm still under my $80 budget by $4.03. Woot woot!

And confession ... I did buy this ... but that's included in the Albertson's total.

SSG's a sucker for 20 Style Rules & Tricks to Sparkling Eyes. She'll let you know if she learns anything ...

So THIS is going in an envelope to pull from next time SSG needs to make a clean getaway ... from her overactive imagination.

(Menu will be up tomorrow.)

What Do You Wonder Wednesday

2009-08-05T04:00:00.000-07:00

Hello Pretties! I'm taking a few reader questions a week and posting them here in case you're wondering about the same things. Have a question? E-mail me at the longest e-mail addy ever: sometimesserendipitousgirl@gmail.com. My password is just as long. No one said SSG's e-mail isn't PRO-TEC-TED.

Are you doing the $40 Foodie this week?

This little experiment has BY FAR gotten more attention than SSG was expecting which was a pleasant surprise. So THANK YOU for your interest. SSG thrives on encouragement and would absolutely jump off a cliff if all of her friends did and told her they thought she could do it brilliantly.

Oh. But that's not what you asked, is it?

I did go to the grocery store this week and bought $19.89 worth of groceries. I neglected to take a picture because a lot of what I intended to make last week just didn't happen. Between the heat wave and the angels that are known as Predo & Jimmy who donated a bunch of leftovers to their little SSG, I didn't do a whole lot of cooking last week. So I'm essentially making all of the recipes I posted last week, this week.

So long story short (too late). The usual $40 Foodie will be back up this coming Saturday.

Can you post the recipes you make?

I've gone back and forth about posting the recipes. Only because I have really only been WOWED by one thing I've made so far. Like said out loud "OH.MAH.GAH." after my first bite. And I feel like you guys deserve the wow. But if I told you that the WOW came from a carrot salad, I thought you guys might be all "Seriously? Where is the butter?" Although I did make a really good blueberry coffee cake that might also be wow worthy. And that had butter.

Anyhoo!

You tell me. Do you guys want the recipes if I've never tried them? Or do you want my favorites at the end of the week? I'm here for you. Help me help you. And what if we don't have the same taste in food? Can we still be friends?

Because okay ... confession. Is there anything more disappointing than when you read a cookbook or blog or watch a person on TV and they're SO excited about the food they just made that it inspires you to make it? And then you take a bite and just go "eh." SSG dies a little bit inside when that happens. But that might just be SSG.

What will always put you in a good mood?

I love this question! I've compiled a list of my Top 10 for you!

A great baseball game where the Padres win
White dishes
Dahlias
Cheesy rap (ie. Hammertime, Baby Got Back, You Can't Touch This, etc.)
Sitting around a candlelit dinner table with friends
Fisher's face
A recipe turning out better than I had hoped
Sunny Saturday mornings
The bittersweet sadness of finishing a book or a movie that I just don't want to end
Driving through the country--open spaces, empty roads and homemade farm stands

I think my shoulders just came away from my ears a bit.

xo,

How to Have a Garage Sale

2009-08-03T04:00:00.000-07:00

1) Acknowledge that not only have you never had a garage sale but that you've also never been to one.

2) Tell everyone you know you're participating in your neighborhood garage sale.

3) Don't listen when they tell you not to.

4) Think that the garage sale starts at 8 a.m.

5) Don't panic when you discover it really starts at 7 a.m.

6) Okay, panic a little when you look at the clock and it's already 6:45 a.m.

7) Instead of putting out your wares, SHOWER. Because you probably won't be getting dirty. Or sweaty. And people who want to pay $1.00 for a box of paperback books will probably care what you smell like.

8) Open your garage door at 7:05 a.m. Expecting to see CAR LOADS of people.

9) Look up and down the street for the car loads of people. Then start looking just for people.

10) Go back upstairs and Google to make sure you have the day right.

11) Go back downstairs and start setting up your stuff.

12) Pass a dog looking longingly at her leash.

13) Wonder if you should scrap the garage sale and instead keep everything you're selling.

14) Think otherwise when you come across a calendar from 2004.

15) Mark it at $0.50.

16) Rationalize that someone might want it for the pictures.

17) Assuming someone knows about this garage sale.

18) Perk up when you hear a car.

19) Slump over when they whiz right by.

20) Start sweeping the garage floor.

21) Perk up when you hear a motorcycle.

22) Wonder if you should be concerned he's aiming at your garage looking as though he has no intent of stopping.

23) Worry when it looks like he might run over your $10 Dirt Devil.

24) Consider hitting him with your Target broom if he comes any closer.

25) Watch as he backs his motorcycle out of your driveway after giving your stuff a once over.

27) Think that maybe he wasn't the target demographic for your $3 DVD of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

28) Continue sweeping the garage.

29) Perk up when you see a car stop.

30) Answer yes when the lady who you think might be the lady who works at the salad bar in the lobby of your office building asks if you're having a garage sale.

31) Don't say: "No, I typically put my belongings out on my driveway with price tags every Saturday morning with no actual intent on selling them." Even though it's what you really want to.

32) Go from sweeping the garage to spray painting a chair.

33) Wonder if you should cover up the items you're selling so they don't turn "pistachio."

34) Decide against it when you realize someone else will own them soon.

35) Almost cover a customer in spray paint.

36) MAKE A SALE!

37) Collect $2.

38) Continue spray painting.

39) Sit down and make a list of everything you want to do in your house. Room by room. In detail.

40) Call your sister.

41) Leave a really long message.

42) Contemplate begging her to call you back so you don't die of boredom.

43) Look at your watch.

44) Realize you've made $2 in two hours.

45) Look at the list of desired home improvements and realize the paper you wrote them on probably cost more than $2.

46) Dump everything you're selling into a box.

47) Label it Salvation Army

48) Grab your dog and go for a walk

49) Greet your neighbors enthusiastically.

50) Buy a white pitcher for $2 and a lamp for your office for $3.

51) Realize you're probably the only person EVER who has had a net loss at her own garage sale.

52) Promise yourself that you'll never have a garage sale again.

Cattywompus

2009-08-02T09:38:00.000-07:00

I love the word cattywompus.

Though fun to say, the reaction on peoples faces after it comes out of my mouth is almost more fun.

Peeps?

This last week made SSG feel v.v. cattywompus.

I knew going into it that it was not going to be a normal week. Record high heat (the last time Portland got to 106 degrees was like 50 years ago), my lack of air conditioning at home and the STRETCH that I knew I had ahead of me made me mentally prepare myself for such savage conditions.

SSG can TOLERATE high temps for a couple of days in a row. Portland cools off at night, so I open up every window in my house, plop myself in front of a fan with something cold to drink and I can stay pretty comfortable. Before I go to work, I close everything up and during the day it stays about 15 degrees cooler than however hot it is outside.

Which is nice.

Except when it's 106 degrees outside.

My place? A balmy 90 degrees. Even at 11 p.m.

SSG was craaaaaaaanky.

I escaped on a couple of occasions over to the oasis that is Predo and Jimmy's refrigerated basement and left feeling refreshed and with enough leftovers to allow me to freeze the bulk of the groceries I purchased last week and only have to go to the store for a few items today. WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT THOSE TWO?! I shudder just thinking about it. Not only did they keep me on my budget, they kept me from sweating my skin off.

So!

We're back(ish) to normal. It's only going to be 90 degrees today. The tenth (I think?) day in a row over 90 degree temps. And can I just tell you I LOVE that Portlanders are as annoyed as I am about this business.

We don't do heat well. And it's nice being around mah peeps. Growing up in San Diego where it is frequently warm and sunny is not the spot for a fair skinned delicate indoor flower like myself. SSG is like an orchid.

So my friends the Bobs are coming through town this afternoon on their way back home to Seattle. I have a massage scheduled at noon and am just heading downstairs to put my Cuban Ropa Vieja into the slow cooker for dinner.

Cool Sunday mornings, how I've missed you.

Waaa Haaaa Haaaa

2009-07-29T06:15:00.001-07:00

I NEVER thought I'd say this, but 91 degrees? Come to mama.

Currently Dreaming Of ...

2009-07-28T06:12:00.001-07:00

This ...

Perhaps it's because when SSG woke up this morning at 4:30 a.m. and her house was 85 degrees inside despite all the windows being open?

Somehow 85 degrees seems so much more bearable when you're floating in a swimming pool ... and sipping an ice cold lemon drop. I wonder if the cube farm could hook a sister up today ...

Please Excuse SSG

2009-07-27T06:13:00.001-07:00

If anyone needs her she will be the statue sitting on the couch in front of the fan holding a glass of lemonade.

$40 Foodie & Menu

2009-07-25T10:23:00.000-07:00

(Alternate Post Title: SMUG NO MORE!)

SSG has been feeling pretty darn good about herself over the past couple of weeks. Coming in under budget, eating meals out of the freezer. Her confidence in this $40 Foodie business was increasing. So she decided to double down. And add not one. Not two. But THREE new recipes to the mix this week.

The problem when SSG does this, is that she shops for new ingredients and isn't always familiar with the prices of said ingredients.

So folks, SSG is over budget. Waa waaa. By a lot. Like, government spending over budget. It came in at $61.97. Which is almost $22 over budget. Which is OVER 50% OVER budget.

That's a lot of overs.

I'll try and make it up next week, but if I don't the biggest lesson learned is try no more than one or two new recipes a week.

There is also NO WAY I can eat all of this food, so my freezer will have a nice collection.

Oh yes! And one more thing. I bought some staple type items--rice, lemonade mix and coffee. I'll need to take those types of things into consideration when I'm meal planning. I have no idea how to do this exactly, but I'm sure I can figure it out.

So! All that said, away we go!

Target: $10.90 and er ... yes, SSG has a sweet tooth. But for the record! I still have a ton of Hershey Kisses and Mike & Ike's left over from last week. But who wants to run the risk of running OUT? Not this SSG. Uh uh.

Altbertson's $51.07 (Not pictured a $3.99 GINORMOUS jug of vinegar for mah cleaning stash and $1.49 in ice that um ... SSG just realized is still at the store. Oopsie. Good thing she lives close.)

Meals for the week:

Sunday Night Slow Cooker: Cuban Ropa Vieja

Monday: Breakfast for Dinner (mini frittatas, potatoes & muffins)

Tuesday: Slow cooked chicken dish (this is from my sister, maybe she can do a guest post and grace us with her recipe)

Wednesday: Pepperoni rolls

Thursday: Chicken Enchiladas

And um ... remember when SSG said she had no food waste? She was totally telling the truth. And then she opened up her fridge and saw this.

Hello wilted parsley.

I think I can save it by turning it into a pesto with some basil from my basil plant, walnuts from the freezer and a miniscule chunk of parmesan that's been rolling around the deli drawer of mah fridge. Wish me luck.

But DON'T WORRY those two bottles of champagne will NOT be going to waste.

Tootles,

Fashionably Late Food Waste Friday

2009-07-25T05:55:00.000-07:00

Food Waste Friday ... on Saturday ...

SSG had ZERO food waste this week peeps! She realizes this has MUCH LESS to do with her being savvy than it is with the fact that she's only spending about 4 cents on groceries each week.

Menu and photos will be up later this weekend. It's supposed to be in the high 90's for the next week. Um, can I survive on iced tea and lemonade? Because that's about as much effort as I like to put in the kitchen with temps like that.

Hope you guys have hawt (not HOT) weekends.

Smoochies,

What Would SSG Do

2009-07-23T15:58:00.001-07:00

This morning I got a call from my credit card company.

You might imagine my surprise as:

A) I pay my bills on time.

B) I haven't used the credit card for almost a year.

C) The credit card was snuggled up next to its ATM card friend in my wallet.

Credit Card Rep: Hi, can you verify some charges for us?

SSG: Sure. There should be zero.

CCR: So the purchases in Florida?

SSG: I've never been to Florida.

CCR: So you didn't buy gas today?

SSG: Uh, no. I'm currently sitting at the cube farm sipping my iced Americano which is where I've been all morning.

CCR: So you didn't go to three different Shell gas stations in Florida this morning?

SSG: No. BUT WHO DID?!

SSG has been thinking all day about the little bastards who were filling up their cars with gas and using her credit card in sunny Florida all morning.

Hopefully they're taking a trip down to the Keys.

And get there in time for this.

And maybe a little of this.

Because that's what SSG would do if SHE were to use HER credit card.

What Do You Wonder Wednesday

2009-07-22T00:03:00.001-07:00

SSG gets a lot of e-mails with questions. Until people get sick of her and stop asking, she will be posting answers to some of those questions here each Wednesday. Have a question for SSG? Send it to sometimesserendipitousgirl@gmail.com.

Why are you still single and what are you looking for in a guy?

It has taken me a LONG time to admit this, but I am still single because I want to be. Plain and simple. I have given EVERY OTHER REASON under the sun--haven't met the right guy, am too busy with work, I want to wait until I lose 10, 15, 20, 25 pounds, I'm a better friend to guys than a girlfriend, that guy is lame, too short, too tall, drives weird, orders his hamburger well done, has girl hands ... you name it I've said it.

But what it boils down to is relationships scare me so much that fight or flight isn't even a response anymore. It's just flight. SSG is working on this by currently dating lots of lame, too short, too tall, drives weird, orders his hamburgers well done girl hand having guys right now. One wonders how far she's come however as she currently is talking to a potentially great guy who happened to mention he travels a bit for work and her first response was to e-mail her Work BFF as follows:

SSG: So do you think this travel business is just a sham? And like really he has a first wife and kids in some other state?

Work BFF: Uhhh ...

SSG: And the only way I'll find out is when our son goes to college, meets his half sister without knowing and they want to get married and then I'll be on 60 Minutes saying "I had NO idea, he said he just went to Tulsa for work."

Work BFF: You really are way too trusting of people.

So what I'm looking for is someone who flies so far under my radar that I don't even notice we're dating until it's too late and I'm wondering who that guy is watching Sports Center on my couch and if that's his Right Guard in the bathroom.

In a nutshell ... the stealth bomber of boyfriends. So did you have someone in mind or?

Are you crazy?

Yes.

What's up with the grocery lists? I liked it when you wrote about your neighbor getting arrested in his underwear.

So are you saying my grocery lists are less interesting than an episode of Cops being filmed in my suburban neighborhood? What if I put handcuffs on my grocery lists? Trot my groceries out in their boxer briefs?

My neighbor has managed to not resist arrest recently, which I think we can all agree is progress. I'm pretty sure it has everything to do with the fact that he no longer has his car and gets rides home daily from a MYRIAD of people who enjoy parking diagonally in his driveway. If I can figure out who each of them are and why large boxes of Amway products get delivered to his house on a regular basis I'll keep you posted.

Confessions of an SSG has always been about what's happening in my life at the moment. And right now I have an odd fascination with living frugally and seeing how low I can get my grocery bill. Last year at this time I was getting ready to go to Paris. This year, I am getting ready for chicken breasts to go on sale for $1.88/pound! Who says boring?!

Oh wait, you do. That's right.

I live in Nigeria, will you help me cash this money order if I pay you $200?

Hmmm. $200 CAN buy a lot of groceries ...

Good Award Hunting

2009-07-21T04:00:00.000-07:00

Work BFF and I are STRUGGLING right now. We each have huge, high profile deals going on at the moment and a fair amount of time over the past week has been spent commiserating over structure and information and just the general sense of pressure that the ball is in our each of our court and we're trying desperately to do the right thing with it.

He wanted to structure his deal a certain way, but got talked out of it. He wrapped up his report, writing it up the way a senior manager wanted it and then once it was sent up the chain, word was handed back down to rewrite it. The way he originally wanted to.

He sent me an instant message saying how PISSED he was and rightfully so. It was three days of work that he was going to have to start over from scratch.

SSG: Dude, it's so not your fault.

Work BFF: Whatever Good Will Hunting.

SSG: It's not your fault.

WB: I know.

SSG: It's not your fault.

WB: I. Know.

SSG: It's not your fault.

WB: Come on man.

SSG: It's not your fault.

WB: Cut it out!

SSG: It's not your fault.

WB: WAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAA. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Academy, we'll be expecting our nominations for what is, if SSG does say so herself, a phenomenal translation of screenplay to instant message.

The Simple Things

2009-07-20T05:31:00.000-07:00

This weekend was full of small, simple pleasures. It wasn't anything to write home about. No huge parties, no lame dates, just nice and easy.

I found myself constantly wondering "should I DO something?" Only to realize I HAD been doing stuff, it just wasn't making me feel spent or exhausted.

I stayed home Friday night and caught up on the stuff on my DVR and went to bed early. Saturday morning I was up early to meet a friend at my local farmers market which I LOVE. It was the first time I had been there but will be heading back for sure this coming weekend to take some pictures and get some fruit because ohmahgah PEACHES and CHERRIES and GORGEOUS BERRIES. Oh my! I bought some dahlias, which are my favorite flowers and now they're scattered in small vases around my house. Happiness for the small price of $4.

I ran some other errands on Saturday, did a few projects around the house and then went to bed early again. I spent Sunday morning at a cafe reading and doing some writing before coming home and sitting out on the deck talking to my neighbors. I was able to catch up with some fun peeps over the phone (thanks Winner, Spleen & Digs!) and cooked a GREAT dinner. If you like any kind of Indian/Persian/Moroccan food, you've got to try this recipe. I made it yesterday in the slow cooker and ate it with some cous cous and it was wonderful.

Slow Cooker Chicken Tagine

I had been working on a big deal at work all last week that will HOPEFULLY be done by the end of the month (if not sooner!) and I must have needed to just take a mental vacation this weekend. It's nice to be heading into the week well rested and oddly satisfied.

Hope you had great weekends too!

xo,

$40 Foodie & Menu

2009-07-18T11:04:00.000-07:00

Menu for the week:

Sunday Night Dinner: Slow Cooker Chicken Tangine & Cous Cous

Monday: Breakfast for dinner (eggs, blueberry muffins, potatoes & bacon)

Tuesday: Barbecue Beef Sandwiches & coleslaw (slow cooked & stuck in the freezer a few weeks ago)

Wednesday: Homemade Black Bean Veggie Burgers & Carrot Slaw

Thursday: Mini Potato & Rosemary Frittatas & salad

Lunches are leftovers from dinner the night before. I'm usually okay eating something twice, but any more than that in one week and this SSG gets annoyed. Breakfasts will be a combo of cereal I have hanging out in the cupboard from a few weeks ago, muffins, yogurt and fruit.

Onto zee groceries!

Target Total $12.10

**Okay, a note about the Mike & Ikes. If you've been hangin' out around here for a while, you may remember my Chewy Spree infatuation? Yeah well we broke up. And I started hanging out with Mike & Ike. And now I love Mike & Ike. The little store at the bottom of my building sells Mike and Ike's for $0.90. Work BFF and I run down there everyday, which works out to $4.50 a week. These HUGE boxes, one of which has almost 4 days worth of Mike & Ike's sell at Target for $1.35. Ummm??? Hello? I LOVE when that happens. The rest of the stuff? Well that's just PMS talking I think.

Albertson's Total: $19.10

(Not pictured: $1.99 5 lb. bag of potatoes)

Total for the week is $31.20. I'm going to have to start thinking about what to do with this left over cash. $5 from last week and $8.80 from this week ... Le Creuset maybe you and I WILL be getting acquainted by this winter!

Hope you're all having a great weekend!

Food Waste Friday

2009-07-17T06:24:00.001-07:00

This poor little lime.

It has been rolling around in the vegetable crisper for a WHILE. It had been zested, partially juiced and I had hoped it could hold on for ONE MORE DAY for some fish I'm making tomorrow. But alas, it was too far gone.

All was not lost however! I cut it up, threw it in the garbage disposal with a little salt and ice and now my garbage disposal is nice and clean.

We almost had a major catastrophe this week though folks. I had defrosted my chicken tortilla soup that I made a couple of weeks ago but then I realized the dinner I made on Sunday was more than I could eat between two meals despite halving a recipe for four people. Something was going to have to be tossed.

OR WAS IT?

I decided to throw the chicken tortilla soup back in the freezer with the corn cakes I had made to accompany it and that's one less meal I have to make this week. I braved overcooked cabbage rolls as leftovers for TWO meals. I think I deserve a medal.

Have a great weekend lovelies!

$40 Foodie will be at it again this weekend with groceries and my menu for the week. Cabbage rolls will never be on it again, I assure you.

Edited to add: The bag was sent home with me a few weeks ago with leftovers in it. I try not to use plastic bags very much. Regardless, it will be washed out once again and used for something else! So not even THAT is going in the trash today. Thanks for the reminders ; )

What Do You Wonder Wednesday

2009-07-15T04:00:00.000-07:00

This SSG has been getting a lot of questions sent her way lately. I'm pretty good about responding ... I think? I hope? But I decided to go ahead and post a few of the questions I get frequently here in case some of you out there are wondering about the same things.

1) What do you look like? Why don't you post a picture of yourself? I have a cousin/brother/friend/Starbucks barrista that I want to set you up with but he wants to know if you're hot. You don't mind if he lives in South Dakota/Alabama/Arkansas do you? He's really nice.

First of all, THANK YOU for thinking of me. If you're anything like me when reading blogs I often wonder about the person writing them and I love that you wonder about me! I wonder what shows you guys have on your DVR's, if your purse (or man purse!) is as messy as mine and what the street you live on looks like. That's not stalker-y is it? Well too bad. I want to know. Please e-mail me immediately. I promise not to show up unannounced. And I'll bring Predo with me so we should come bearing lemon drops. Oh but wait ... this is about me, isn't it?

The truth plain and simple is that I keep my anonymity on this site so I can feel free to write about what I want to write about. Judging by the flurry of activity that came my sister's way with people stalking her to get to me on Facebook, I worry about attaching my name to this site. There are just some doors that need to remain shut. This is why SSG is not on Facebook. There are a handful of people who know me in my real life that also know about SSG yet we rarely talk about it. They stop by here each day to see what I'm up to and then go about their days wondering how on earth I ever roped them into becoming my friends.

And YES, I'm totally hot. Please pass that around.

What's so funny?

2) OHMAHGAH WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR BEDDING/ ILOVEYOURBEDDINGOHMAHGAHWHEREDIDYOUGETIT/Bedding! Must have! Spill it!

Isn't it preeeeettty? I love it too. Every night I hop in and tell Fisher how cute she is and then tell my bedding how cute it is. Did I mention the flip side has POLKA DOTS?! You know how much SSG loves polka dots!

I got this at a very, very exclusive store only located in Portland. BUT!

Because I love you all so much, I've arranged for this same set to be sold in Target stores everywhere.

You're welcome! Cuff me, I'm a giver. Lock me up!

3) What kind of dog is Fisher? And why does she have a boy's name?

The Fish, Pupalah, Puppers or Princess Puperlah is half Golden Retriever and half Australian Cattle Dog. In other words 100% snuggly, blonde haired bundle of 40 pound CUTENESS.

She was named after M.F.K. Fisher, one of my favorite writers. You can read more about her here.

Have a question for SSG? Send it my way at sometimesserendipitousgirl@gmail.com!

xo,

Teeter Totter

2009-07-13T04:00:00.000-07:00

When I was little, one of my favorite rides to go on at the park was the teeter toter. Something about the sensation of flying up and then being slowly let down, knowing all the while that you'd get a chance to go up again.

SSG's weekend was quite the teeter toter.

Friday night I met up with a friend and a friend of hers that she had been wanting to introduce me to. The three of us ladies hit up the town and were having a great time dishing purses, cocktails, food and boys. We started talking about the roller coaster that is online dating and SSG was joking that though she has gone on some dates, so far she has only met a friend ... and not even really a friend but a POTENTIAL friend.

A month or so ago I started communicating with this guy. We had a lot in common in our work life, but he leaned toward the outdoorsy and SSG just wasn't sensing a whole lot of chemistry. So I sent him an e-mail letting him know that he was cool and that I WISH I were outdoorsy, because DUDE, Portland would be SSG's oyster of outdoorsy boys if she were into that sort of thing, but that this SSG likes outdoor CAFES and hiking maybe a mile to a waterfall for an afternoon spent picnicking and dipping my toes in the water. He responded that no worries, he was always looking to expand his social circle and become friends if nothing else. We exchanged numbers and I told him I'd call him next time I was planning on being in his 'hood.

So as I'm talking to the ladies about this and a few more details are exchanged, it turns out that my friend's friend, super cool chick that SSG would want to be friends with, is DATING him. And HAS BEEN dating him for the last few months. Ohhh boy. Talk about AWKWARD. SSG literally had both hands over her mouth for fear of shouting "Kick that guy to the curb! Let's all go out and meet some new boys! You're AWESOME! If I were a dude I'd totally date you! Let's forget all about this CRAZY SMALL ICKY PIECE OF THE WORLD WE JUST FOUND OURSELVES IN!"

To her credit, she handled it REALLY well. And was incredibly gracious and went out of her way to thank ME. Which GAH made me feel even worse even though I didn't do anything wrong. But DUDE. I just felt awful for handing over a lot of pain, albeit unknowingly and unintentionally, to someone that I just met and really liked. I hope she's okay.

Saturday night I then found myself on a date with a total douche bag. Like I can't even pick out one positive thing. Okay, wait. He did clue me into a fun radio station that I had never heard of and that I do listen to now on a regular basis. And I suppose he DIDN'T pluck one of the hairs out of my head and use it for dental floss a la When Harry Met Sally. So there is that. But otherwise ... MAN. No manners, dropping F bombs, I could go on and on. My text message to Digs on my way home summed it up.

"Um, NO."

Sunday morning I woke up and decided to take myself out for the day.

I started at Starbucks and read The Sweet Life in Paris by David Lebovitz for an hour (which SSG can't recommend highly enough, it's wonderful). Then hit up Lowe's for some spray paint for my table. I made a few rounds at some other favorite stores before heading home, changing into some scrubby clothes and going out front to start spray painting my table.

And who do I see?

My cute neighbor. The one that I've lived next to for four years and didn't meet until I banged on his door to tell him to turn his music down and discovered he was cute and really nice and now I totally feel like THAT neighbor and have rarely seen him since. He doesn't see me when I'm dressed up to go to work. He doesn't see me when I'm dressed up to go on a date. No, no. He sees me (with his FAMILY no less) is a ginormous Padres t-shirt, faded black yoga pants, hair piled on top of my head and "pistachio" spray paint ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Can we say AWESOME?!

I finished one chair and was so mortified that I ended up stopping, shut the garage, went upstairs and holed up watching "Killer Hair" and "Hostile Makeover." Two Lifetime movies. Which I'm pretty sure solidifies my spinsterhood. Oh yes, and it RAINED outside. In JULY.

So needless to say ... this SSG is patiently-ish waiting for that teeter toter to go back up, returning her once again to the sweet life in Portland.

The $40 Foodie & Menu for the Week

2009-07-11T10:12:00.001-07:00

Hey Peeps!

Welcome to the first week of the $40 Foodie. Away we go!

Albertson's Grocery Store

Total: $14.15

(not pictured a $2 magazine)

Trader Joe's

Total: $20.99

Total for the week: $35.14, or $4.86 under budget.

I do confess to having some items in my freezer that I'll be pulling out this week for dinners. BUT! Before I would have thrown leftovers away, so yay for me! I still consider that a victory : )

This week's menu:

Saturday:

Lunch: Fish Tacos

Dinner: SSG has a date ... I think he's paying? Let's hope.

Sunday:

Breakfast: Blueberry corncakes

Lunch: Fish Tacos

Dinner: Cabbage rolls and a spinach salad

Monday:

Breakfast: Fruit

Lunch: Leftover cabbage rolls & salad

Dinner: Breakfast for dinner (banana muffins, eggs, bacon & fruit)

Tuesday:

Breakfast: Fruit & yogurt

Lunch: Leftover breakfast for dinner

Dinner: Stuffed potatoes (spinach, onions, goat cheese & bacon)

Wednedsay:

Breakfast: Fruit & banana muffins

Lunch: Leftover stuffed potatoes

Dinner: Portobello mushroom pizzas

Thursday:

Breakfast: Yogurt and fruit

Lunch: Leftover portobello mushroom pizzas

Dinner: Chicken tortilla soup (from the freezer)

Friday:

Breakfast: Banana muffin and yogurt

Lunch: Chicken tortilla soup

Dinner: TBD (I usually like to go out to eat on Friday & Saturday nights)

Have great weekends everyone!

Food Waste Friday & The $40 er $50 (?) Foodie

2009-07-10T06:21:00.001-07:00

Hey Peeps!

I snuck in a short blog post on you guys last night, sorry to those of you who showed up yesterday to NOTHING NEW on SSG. (SSG hangs her head in shame.)

BUT! Today I'm instituting a new Friday and Weekend thang around these parts. Do you guys read The Frugal Girl? I love her and the sweet, thoughtful way she goes about raising her family. She makes it look SO EASY. I highly recommend her site if you're looking for ways to budget and tips for saving. And SHE MAKES HER OWN BREAD. SSG bows down to the woman.

Anyhoo! She started doing a Friday food waste photo as she was trying to cut back on the amount of food she threw away.

SSG had a similar problem ... until she instituted her $40 er $50 a week budget for food. So in an effort to hold herself accountable and share any tips she comes across, voila.

Welcome to mah first Food Waste Friday post.

These bananas are actually going to be used, but confession. I threw away two lowly, shriveled up carrots last night before photographing them. Had I given it any thought I could have just peeled and shredded them and threw them in the muffins that I'll be using these babies for this weekend.

Coming up this weekend, SSG's grocery list for a $40 er $50 week and what ah'll be cookin'.

Off to work. SSG said she'd be there early ... which really now means 1/2 hour later than she usually is but since her boss doesn't come in until 9 a.m. ... tree falling in the forrest and all that.

You won't tell on SSG, will you?

Smoochies,

The SSG Summer 2009 Collection

2009-07-09T17:55:00.001-07:00

So SSG SWEARS she does NOT collect things. SSG doesn't like STUFF. Especially since she just spent an entire season getting rid of the bulk of stuff that she does have.

But SSG miiiiight have a thing for dish towels.

Especially Martha Stewart's dish towels.

And um ... E Bay has a lot of them.

The Funniest Thing SSG Never Intended to Say

2009-07-08T04:00:00.000-07:00

(On a conference call at SSG's very conservative employer.)

SSG to Accountant: So is all of this liquidity pledged?

Accountant: Yes.

SSG: We really don't need to hold that much as collateral. I'm surprised they haven't complained about getting some of it released.

Accountant: Yeah good point, I'll have to see what's going on.

SSG: Maybe they haven't had to tap those assets in a while?

(Cut to SSG throwing the phone on mute and laughing hysterically.)

The Things SSG Carries

2009-07-07T05:53:00.001-07:00

Today is trash day in my neighborhood.

The end.

Just kidding.

So I was down in the garage getting the trash together and for the second week over the past month I've pondered not putting the trash out. There's just hardly anything in the trash can. My first thought was MAN, I need to get crackin' I'm obviously falling down on the housecleaning job.

But then I went inside.

And it looks okay.

I kind of forgot about it until I started getting ready to go to go to work. As I walked downstairs, I was carrying the following:

Purse
Reusable lunch bag filled with a cloth napkin, real utensils and reusable containers.
Gym bag
Reusable water bottle
Reusable coffee cup
Keys
Eye glasses
A package to mail
Cookies for Fisher

As I was cursing my haul, I realized I'd be lugging this exact same load back upstairs when I get home tonight ... with the exception of Fisher's cookies ... okay and honestly maybe my gym bag because ... meh, it's too nice out to be stuck indoors. Since my admission and subsequent guilt over not recycling, I've tried to erase past mistakes and realized that I'm doing a pretty good job. (But I still maybe cursed a little.)

I'm also pretty sure this is exactly how sherpas begin their training.

Back to Normal

2009-07-06T04:00:00.000-07:00

Oh. My. Internets.

Mark SSG's words. She will NEVER have more than one dog. Good LAWD taking care of my neighbors dog for ... let's count them, shall we?

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

EIGHT DAYS.

Do you know how many piles of poop that is?

Umz ... lotz i tinks?

Anyhoo, my neighbors got home late Friday night, so SSG took Wriggy (our pet name for him) home before Fish and I hit the hay. I woke up on Saturday and thought HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY FOR SSG!!!

It was nice of the country to celebrate with me.

Did you all have good 4th's?

SSG stayed in her jammies for a few hours on Saturday morning, even DRIVING to the local Starbucks drive thru so she didn't have to get out of them. I'm pretty sure that constitutes a new level of laziness.

I managed to pull it together midday and headed over to a barbecue that this guy was at. Maybe you know him? We were so busy throwing back gin and tonics and getting caught up that NEITHER OF US TOOK PHOTOS. Bad bloggers! But he looked just as hawt as ever. And thanks to our fabulous host and hostess for a delicious barbecue and to the equally fabulous company!

I'm convinced that if I maintained a certain buzz at all times that I would be A LOT more receptive to getting out and doing more. Saturday night SSG was all about it. Marco's for breakfast! Drive in movie theater! Concerts in the park! Luckily this crowd knows me better and Predo had started hash browns on Sunday morning before giving me a quick call "we're not going to Marco's, right?"

SSG looked down at her pajamas, her cup of coffee and Fisher passed out on the couch and said "ummmm ... no."

So there you have it! SSG's weekend in a nutshell.

Oh! And I got a massage!

And for those of you keeping up with my Sunday night ritual. The movie was August Rush ... which was ... cute-ish. But I felt they were trying a BIT too hard. And the dinner was this slow cooker barbecue beef from All Recipes.

I cut the recipe in half since I didn't feel like feeding the whole neighborhood. And I just chucked the 2 pound roast in whole and then shredded it toward the end. It was good, but I want to play with the sauce a bit more. I like my barbecue sauce a little sweeter and tomato-ier (is too a word). Later this week I think I'm going to caramelize a bunch of red onions and tuck them into some tortillas with the beef, sharp cheddar and sour cream for a quesadilla. I'll let you know how they turn out.

Have a great week pretties!

Fantasy Fridays

2009-07-03T04:00:00.000-07:00

I know we've been going to the islands on Fridays for a while. But now that summer is here, SSG's fantasy vacations are much simpler.

Popsicles.

A glass of iced tea.

Porch swings.

Cherry pie.

And fireflies.

SOMEDAY SSG will see a firefly in real life.

But for now she has to hijack this kid's memory.

Or the Duerksen's kids whose mom makes me want to live in Kansas. Check out this post from their cool mama, Meg Duerksen.

Hope you all have a twinkly Fourth of July weekend.

xo,

Dating Quote of the Week

2009-07-02T06:23:00.000-07:00

Tuesday Evening

Potential Date: Would you want to get together on Thursday?

SSG: Actually I have plans on Thursday night but I'd love to next week?

PD: Sounds good.

Wednesday Evening (via text message)

PD: Hey the Padres are totally dropping the ball in the 4th. So how is tomorrow looking to get together?

SSG: Still have those plans.

Slow Cooker Sundays

2009-07-01T04:00:00.000-07:00

I realize today isn't Sunday.

And for most of the country it probably isn't slow cooker weather either.

But SSG has a new Sunday tradition and it's days like these when she remembers how nice that tradition is.

SSG has always hated Sunday nights. Always. The only time she doesn't mind them is if she's on vacation. And even THEN they're still somewhat depressing because entire cities shut down early on Sunday nights.

So SSG stopped one Sunday and asked herself what, oh WHAT, could she do to enjoy them. Because Sunday nights come around OFTEN.

SSG wanted to feel warm, cozy and pampered on Sunday nights. To have something to look forward to at the end of her weekend instead of starting to dread it Saturday night.

And what says warm better than a slow cooked dinner? Cozy more than a fun movie while tucked away on the couch? And pampered more than a bath?

And thus a new tradition was born.

And SSG loves it.

And SSG almost wishes it were Sunday because today kind of sucked.

Anyhoo ... last Sunday the movie was Confessions of a Shopaholic which ... meh. But on the menu was this Slow Cooker Chicken Tortilla Soup from All Recipes. It. Was. Awesome.

I made it just like the recipe said, with the exception of putting the chicken in raw and then shredding it at the end. It comes highly recommended. Just like SSG's version of Sunday nights.

Little Things

2009-06-30T04:00:00.000-07:00

Sweet Bella Della had a post up today about the little things that make her happy and it got me thinking about this whole online dating business and how it currently is one of the little things that's making this SSG happy.

Oh these Northwest guys. How I love them in all of their rugged outdoorsy-ness. Never before have you seen such a high concentration of hikers, bikers, snowboarders and North Face wearers than in this neck of the woods.

If anything since I started this ... how long has it been a year? A decade? SSG has no idea. But it has made her realize that there are A LOT of GREAT guys out there. Almost daily she hears or reads something that makes her smile ...

The guy as addicted to the Daily Show as she is. The one who grew up in the covered bridge capital of the country. Another who worked for the Cubs in college. Still another who counts food and wine among the things in life about which he's most passionate. And then came ...

THE PILOTS

SSG is currently talking to two pilots.

(And just typing that sentence made her look at Fisher, smile and say "thaaaaat's right.")

I was relaying my weekend recap to Work BFF this morning. This is where we go down who was on the list last week, who made the cut (or who cut SSG--SHOCKER!) and who is new on the radar.

SSG: So 6'5 guy is out, no chemistry. BMW guy turned out to be a D ...

Work BFF: Duh.

SSG: ... Cubby is still in. Coach takes forever to respond to anything, so I might be on his bench and then OHMAHGAH new on the scene!!! Not one but TWO pilots. I hope they don't know each other.

WBFF: What IS IT about girls and pilots?

SSG: Dude.

WBFF: Dude.

SSG: There are some professions that one MUST date when given the opportunity. It's the girl code.

WBFF: What about the guy?

SSG: DOESN'T matter.

WBFF: WHAT?!

SSG: Both of these guys are total D's, but they're PILOTS. You make concessions.

WBFF: ??!!

SSG: Firemen, pilots, some might say doctors but SSG says meh, substitute that with a baseball player and GO.

WBFF: (Shaking his head) Women. I'll never understand you.

SSG: Let me show you the guy equivalent ... Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, Swimsuit and/or Victoria's Secret Model.

WBFF: Got it.

I Think I Broke My Dog

2009-06-29T04:00:00.000-07:00

I admit it.

SSG tends toward the cozy. Snuggling up and reading or watching movies. Baking cookies in the kitchen ... and then eating them before dinner. A mid afternoon nap. A long conversation over a full glass of wine.

We're not running any marathons over here people.

But after a loooooooong winter (perhaps you heard SSG mention it?) and a new found zest for the sun and summer, SSG has been ALL ABOUT being outdoors. From sitting out on her deck every morning and evening, reading books outside cafes and taking not one but TWO dogs (SSG's neighbors are out of town this week) out on multiple walks each day. It seems like the more SSG is outside, the more she WANTS to be outside.

So cut to Sunday night when SSG went looking for Fisher to go for our third walk of the day.

Um?

Pupalah?

Walkalah?

Noez. I yike dis playses.

So Over It

2009-06-26T04:00:00.000-07:00

Work BFF: Told you that Governor from South Carolina was cheating on his wife.

SSG: He WAS?!

Work BFF: Yep.

SSG: What the fuck is up with these "conservatives" who get blown by dudes in bathrooms and feel the sanctity of marriage includes cheating on their wives? And my gay friends who actually ARE faithful to each other and WANT to have their unions recognized can't? I'M SO DONE!!

Work BFF: (Sarcastically) Adam & Eve SSG, not Adam & Steve.

SSG: Don't forget the loophole ... Adam & Eve(s).

Yummy

2009-06-25T04:00:00.000-07:00

SSG was going to post about a pretty good quesadilla recipe but then she met this dish. Sesame Peanut Noodles courtesy of the Cook Yourself Thin ladies on Lifetime. The complete recipe can be found here.

Digs introduced me to the Cook Yo-self Thin posse a few weeks ago and I fully admit at the time thinking ... YAWN. SSG prefers her food smothered in butter and/or chocolate and preferably chased with a glass or two of wine. Red, of course. Because SSG cares about her heart.

So anyhoo--you can get the repeat episodes On Demand and I stumbled across this recipe thinking "hmmm ... I have that in the cupboard and that ... oh yes and that ... and hmmm ... a HALF A BAG OF CABBAGE OHMAHGAH I HAVE THAT TOO!"

So SSG made it.

Kind of.

Okay, really she became one of those bitches that she hates on All Recipes who are like "okay so I substituted the beef for tofu and the other 7 ingredients for 7 completely different ingredients and it really wasn't good. ONE STAR for this recipe."

But THIS story has a happy ending. And one SSG knew she needed to share with you when she stood over the stovetop eating the pasta out of the largest bowl she could find because good LAWD this makes A LOT.

Check the original recipe fo sho, but this is how SSG rolled. Because she has a budget to stay on peeps.

Peanut Noodles

8 0z. whole wheat pasta cooked al dente

Sauce

2T rice wine vinegar

1/4 c tamari or soy sauce

1/4 smooth peanut butter

2T freshy grated ginger

1T sesame oil

1T sugar

Juice of one small lime or 1/2 large

(Up to 1/2 cup starchy pasta water if the sauce needs to be loosened up. SSG didn't need to. Her sauce was loose. Just like Digs.)

Add In's

1/2 bag coleslaw mix/shredded cabbage

1/2 c thinly sliced red bell pepper

1/2 c thinly sliced carrots

1/2 c cilantro

The key to this recipe is the base--the sauce with the whole wheat pasta is really good. And then as far as SSG is concerned, anything goes on the veggies. I can't think of any that would be bad in here. I think it's supposed to be chilled, but I liked it warm.

Just FAIR WARNING, get yo-self a BIG bowl. SSG can feed her entire lunch crew tomorrow with the leftovers.

Lucky boys.

Dating Quote of the Week ... It's a Tie!

2009-06-24T05:58:00.000-07:00

SSG: So you mentioned you moved here from Texas, is that where you're from originally?

Date: No.

SSG: So where would that be then?

Date: I'm going to make you guess.

SSG: Oh ... okay ... really?

Date: I'll give you some clues.

SSG: Um.

Date: I've had to work very hard on my accent and my mannerisms.

SSG: New York?

Date: I can't believe you got it that quickly.

Date: What people don't get is that when I smoke tobacco, I'm actually praying.

SSG: I feel that way about Grey Goose Lemon Drops.

Date: But I'm serious.

What to Do? What to Do?

2009-06-23T06:01:00.001-07:00

So SSG has had this table kicking around her garage for some time now.

(Don't mind the pile of stuff behind it that needs to go to the Salvation Army.)

It's going to eventually reside in her kitchen. Just once she narrows down what color to paint it.

What do you think internets?

Red
Red Chairs and a White Table
Granny Smith Apple Green
GS Apple Green Chairs & a White Table
Chocolate Brown

Halp! SSG needs you!

(Edited to Add: Thanks for your input everyone! I'll show you the final results. Just right after SSG gets around to painting. So sometime in 2012.)

SSG Stays In

2009-06-22T04:00:00.000-07:00

I remember back when I was spring cleaning frantically that my main motivation was to work hard for a few months so that I could take the summer off. Not from cleaning entirely, though that would be nice, but mostly just to get the house in order so it would be easier to leave and go out and do stuff on the weekends. Both metaphorically and literally. We're talking about the same SSG who backed her car into a bookshelf stacked with beers that were waiting to be brought upstairs for a party she was having. Oopsie.

So summer kicks off for SSG Memorial Day weekend and since then she has been out and about, dating, happy houring, gyming, budgeting, writing, dining, errand running and overall not sleeping. This taking the summer off business has been um ... tiring for our poor little typically lazy SSG.

This weekend was kind of June gloomy, the kind of weekend that even though you don't WANT TO because you're TRYING to be hip, social and cool is exactly the type of weekend to stay close to home.

So SSG did.

And she wishes she had something to report other than she watched three movies (Along Came Polly, Last Holiday and Princess Diaries). And read a book. And made some granola bars only they're really oatmeal cookies in bar formation. And walked Fisher around the neighborhood in her pajamas. And watched more baseball than any one person really should. And napped. And made some really good quesadillas that she'll post about later this week. And chatted on the phone.

But she doesn't. Because really?

It's exactly what she needed.

(Don't tell anyone.)

Fantasy Island Friday & SSG's 400th Post!

2009-06-19T22:21:00.000-07:00

After 400 posts, SSG deserves a little R & R, don't you think?

I believe this hammock shall suffice ...

Thanks as always for stopping by! You guys put smiles on my face on a daily basis (even all of you lurkey loos, SSG loves you too!)

Here's to the next 400!

SSG's Thoughts on Online Dating Photos

2009-06-18T04:00:00.000-07:00

1) Is it really necessary to include the one of you and your dog gazing at each other while in some snowy wilderness? It looks very romantic. Perhaps you've already found your partner? To quote the movie The Truth About Cats & Dogs "You can love your pets. But you can't LOVE. Your. Pets."

2) I'm sure you had a GREAT time at your friend's bachelor party in Vegas if those strippers in the photo with you are any indication.

3) What is it with guys taking photos of themselves WHILE THEY'RE SITTING IN THEIR CARS? Are they stuck in traffic? Do they think they're hot while they're driving? Is that really the best photo you have? Because that lighting does nothing for SSG (she might have tried it after she saw it was the popular thing to do and advises heavily AGAINST it.)

4) Would you please SMILE so SSG can make sure you still have all your teeth?

5) Photos of you guys kissing cats does not make you attractive to women.

And you have NO IDEA how badly SSG wishes she could show these photos to you guys.

Bee Bacz 2 morowz

2009-06-17T05:38:00.000-07:00

(Alternate title: SSG nurses a hangover. From a SCHOOL NIGHT.)

The $40 Foodie

2009-06-16T05:39:00.001-07:00

I mentioned the other day how SSG is working on saving some money. One of the areas where I realized I was spending A LOT of money unconsciously was eating out. To top it off, I was wasting the food I did buy at the grocery store by letting it go bad in the fridge and eventually throwing it away. Oopsie.

I don't know why this is. I tend to prefer food that is fresh and seasonal but most of all simple. I have a very short attention span when it comes to ingredients and chances are if it has more than five main ingredients and spices I don't currently have in my spice rack, I turn the page. Simple, seasonal food has been surprisingly inexpensive to work with and I don't know why I haven't done this before!

Anyhoo, my new challenge is to spend $40 on groceries for myself for the week. That started out being essentially 5 dinners (Sunday - Thursday) where I'd make two servings and take the leftovers to lunch the next day. But it's amazing how much food $40 buys and because I'm also trying to limit my waste I find I've started eating at home on the weekends and now when I go out it's for a great beer or cocktail instead of an expensive dinner.

Some recipes have bombed, others have been so so, but a few have stuck out and this is one of them.

I had polished off my burger, from the April 2008 issue of Costal Living and was licking my fingers before I realized I hadn't even taken a shot. Most of the ingredients I had on hand--some wilting parsley, a lemon rolling around the crisper drawer, half and half for my morning coffee instead of heavy cream and onion powder pinch hitting for the shallot. I only had to pick up the can of salmon and some buns at the grocery store (and confession I used toasted sourdough english muffins because they were on sale for $1.29!). They were good the next day for lunch and even made the boys at work moan when I pulled it out of my bag in the yuppieteria.

Salmon Burgers

1 (14.75 oz) can salmon drained and flaked

1 egg lightly beaten

1/4 cup heavy cream

2T finely chopped shallot

1 garlic clove minced

1/4 minced red bell pepper

1t dried Italian seasoning

1/4 dried crushed red pepper flakes

1/4 t ground black pepper

1t lemon zest

1/4 c Italian seasoned breadcrumbs (I used plan and added 1t Italian seasoning in addition to the teaspoon listed above)

1/4 t garlic salt

1/2 T chopped Italian parsley

1T canola oil

4 whole wheat buns

Lettuce & Tomato

Combine salmon and next 12 ingredients in a bowl. Mix well. Form mixture into 4 equal patties about 1/2 inch thick.

Heat oil in a nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add patties and cook 5 minutes on each side. Top bottom halves of buns with salmon burgers, garnish with mayo, lettuce and tomato or favorite toppings and cover with bun tops.

Makes 4 servings

Bullets Over Blogway

2009-06-15T04:00:00.000-07:00

Oh internets what a weekend ...

SSG was out every night last week. Friday rolled around and after TWO iced grande americanos before 9 a.m. (that's SIX shots of espresso, folks) SSG was BARELY able to make it through the day in time to get home, eat dinner (sushi from the local grocery store's deli--can we say classy?) and fall asleep on the couch only to wake up at 5 a.m. on Saturday morning and do a walk of shame from her couch to her bed.

I saw David Sedaris at a book reading/signing. He is one of the smartest, funniest, snarkiest, sweetest writers around. And SSG loves him. I especially love the stories that get told between the readings. Last year when I saw Alice Walker at one of these things she told us how much she loved Netflix and how she hates to do anything that she can't do from bed. David Sedaris told us he was taken to the emergency room by a front desk clerk at a Holiday Inn. And that her car was FILTHY. You can't make this stuff up.

Spleen got hit on this weekend by a certain academy award winning actor/singer/comedian whose name rhymes with Flamie Cox!!! (SSG swears she didn't make that rhyme up to sound the way it did, but once she read it back ... HOW COULD SHE CHANGE IT?)

I SAW PREDO FINALLY!! Two weeks is like an ETERNITY. He even gave me an award! Or my rack an award. Which, frankly the girls and I are flattered. I was invited over for a smashing dinner party. What a way to kick off the summer.

SSG swapped out her spring bedding for new summer bedding. Someone sure likes it ...

It haz cookeez herez maybeez?

SSG has been on the hunt for some kitchen dish towels with strawberries on them. Has anyone seen any? I finally bought some off of EBay, but would like a few more.

Sorry to disappoint internets, but my covered bridge swoon inducer was not a match for SSG. I had fun, but there just wasn't any chemistry. There are other vodkas in the lemon drop, right? Actually, that's not true since there's really only ONE vodka that should be in a lemon drop (SSG is looking at you Grey Goose). So perhaps SSG is looking to find her Grey Goose ... she did after all, have to try A LOT of lemon drops before she found him.

Wer FisHeR iz?

2009-06-14T10:20:00.001-07:00

S ranee ousidez. Butz i gotz a nu bedz.

SSG is Guest Blogging!

2009-06-11T20:59:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone!

SSG had her first go as a guest blogger over at Lys' site, Cooking in Stilettos. Lys not only cooks but actually WALKS in 4 inch heels.

Without falling down.

It's one of the many reasons I admire her.

Isn't Cooking in Stilettos kind of a sexy name? SSG thinks so too. Don't ask her then, why she blogged about SOUP. Which is kind of granny in stilettos, but whatever. Check it out right over here.

Post Date Wrap Up

2009-06-10T04:00:00.000-07:00

Peeps!

I can't tell you how much I loved all of your words of encouragement and e-mails. You have NO IDEA how much they helped. It was like I had my own private cheering section as I was getting ready to go and do this thing.

Internets, we have success. If for no other reason than SSG was able to actually survive the last 24 hours. Let me just tell you anxiety was HIGH. And I wasn't even sure why--I think it just brought up a lot of questions of what if I like him, what if he likes me, do I even want something serious, is he texting me too much? How do I make time for this? And more importantly, do I have the OUTFITS that this dating business requires? And am I going to have to go shopping?

Anyhoo--we live about a mile from each other so the plan was to meet for a glass of wine at a local restaurant. A glass of wine turned into two which then turned into dinner and a few hours later, we were parting ways in the parking lot.

Conversation was good ... come to think of it, I don't think there was a lull once. He was definitely able to carry the conversation, which I appreciated .... you all know how much SSG loves to chat.

And more importantly, NO MOM JEANS AND WHITE TENNIS SHOES INTERNET. V.V. important to SSG. He looked nice--black work shirt, jeans and I couldn't quite take a look at the shoes for longer than a few seconds but they were black and seemed jeans appropriate.

He was cute. Not SSG's usual style, but he was confident ... and himself ... I think guys (and us girls) sometimes forget how attractive that can be.

And honestly SSG can't remember how we left things. Is he calling me? Is he not? Are we doing this again? I have no idea. I liked that he walked me to my car, gave me a hug and didn't try and suck my face off. I liked that he listened to me when I spoke. I liked that he asked me questions and complimented me, but not overly so.

Most of all, I like that he was himself. And that SSG was herself.

And that ... in and of itself ... is a pretty amazing place to be.

SSG Goes on a Date

2009-06-09T04:00:00.000-07:00

So SSG has a date tonight.

The outfit and hairstyle (and who are we kidding ... SHOES) have been chosen. The place and time picked. Arrangements made to have Digs & Spleen available for a quick pre and post recap via celly if need be.

SSG's support system is in place. Especially having you as my backups sweet readers. Thanks for cheering me on!

(Now all I need is mah Predo back from his road trip!)

So SSG can take a deep breath.

I think the thing about dating is this ... it's all one big possibility.

There's a possibility that the dude may show up wearing white tennis shoes and mom jeans ... or as Work BFF has affectionately deemed him "Sandals with Socks," dreaming up the ONE combo that would be worse than what I came up with.

There is a possibility that he might show up, take one look at me and call his support system after our date saying only "you will not BELIEVE what this chick was wearing."

There is the possibility that we'll have polite getting to know you conversation, each realizing "hmm ... not really into it."

There is a possibility that I will spark and he won't. Or that he will spark and I won't.

And then ... there is the possibility of us each thinking ... yes.

Yes to a second date. Yes to a slow walk around the farmers market. Yes to the first kiss. Yes to a picnic in a park next to a covered bridge on a lazy summer river.

Simply ... yes.

You guys ready to find out?

Me too.

I'm Just Not That Into Me

2009-06-08T04:00:00.000-07:00

Oh internets. I owe you an apology. My posts have been sucking ASS lately. Where's the spark? Where's the snark? Where's the ... je ne sais quoi.

I think ah've finally figured out mah problem! It's because I haven't been in MAH HEAD people. SSG has actually been DOING. Like stuff.

Like instead of sitting around thinking about her life that WAS and thinking about her life that IS and then thinking a little more about what what she wants it TO BE, she has actually gone ahead and started LIVING ... and not JUST chasing firefighters around her grocery store. Okay, maybe chasing firefighters around her grocery store a LITTLE.

This is ... in a nutshell ... what SSG has been up to and not telling anyone about ... mainly because she didn't think it was interesting, not that she didn't WANT to tell you about it. But then SSG realized by not telling you guys she was in fact being uninteresting and then it was the whole self fulfilling prophecy thing and then she wanted to tell you but didn't know where to begin and then she tried to figure out a way to tell you ... and THEN ... her head exploded.

So here we go ...

The Gym

SSG joined a gym peeps.

And has actually been going.

Like multiple times a week. And ...

... don't tell anyone ...

Shhh ... come closer ...

She LIKES it.

(Once again SSG looks around to see what she has done with herself and who is currently residing in her body.)

BUT! If those bitches that work there tell me how much I'm "glowing" one more time? SSG WILL punch them in their non-glowey faces.

SSG is SAVING

As in money. Like lots of it. Because it hit her that:

1) She was no longer making her previous salary.

2) She needed to stop spending as if she were making her previous salary.

3) Saving and (please excuse SSG while she says this word that's new to her) fru-gal-it-y have actually (don't hurt SSG) become quite fun ... and (ohmahgah who am I?!) addictive.

SSG is Dating Online

(Moms keep your boys away from computers.)

The Boyfriend Watch was going well ... and SSG will continue it, if for no other reason that she loves stouts and the ongoing pursuit of finding her favorite (boy & beer). But between Starey Guy at work doing a lot of staring and boys at bars doing a lot of staring there just wasn't NEARLY enough talking going on for SSG. Forget Elvis, SSG needs a little more CONVERSATION and THEN we can start talking a little more action ... please. Do these boys not know SSG works with a bunch of dudes that have trouble talking?

SSG has a date on Tuesday night with a boy who lives in her neighborhood but who has been making her SWOON with his talk of growing up on a farm with a river and covered bridges. We've talked ... he TALKS internets ... but there is NO WAY it can be this easy, can it?

Just to be on the safe side SSG has been mentally preparing herself for this boy to show up on our first date wearing white tennis shoes and mom jeans.

Ummm ... SSG thinks that's it.

For now.

Hope you all had tremendous weekends! And thank you all for continuing to be into this SSG even when she wasn't that into herself.

Smoochies,

Fantasy Island Friday

2009-06-05T04:00:00.000-07:00

This dear readers, is the Great Barrier Reef. I know it doesn't look like an island so much, but let's just say this is the view from where we're sitting on the beach.

And in just a couple of minutes a turtle will float by delivering Grey Goose Lemon drops just for us. I'm ALMOST sure of it.

SSG's Dating Tip #1

2009-06-04T05:23:00.000-07:00

How to Piss Off an NPR Junkie

SSG's Date: Do you listen to NPR?

SSG: I DO! I love it.

Date: Me too!

SSG: But does it annoy the crap out of you that Michele Norris pronounces her name Me-shell? It's Michelle lady, own it.

Date: (Blank Stare) Not really.

A Note to My East Coast & Southern Posse

2009-06-03T04:00:00.000-07:00

(Alternate title: Why SSG Can't Come to Visit This Summer.)

SSG: Ohmahgah it's so humid!

Work BFF: Dude.

SSG: DUDE, it's SWELTERING out here!

Work BFF: The humidity is like 40%.

SSG: What is it normally? Like 15?

Work BFF: I don't know.

SSG: I'm SO Googling that when we get inside. And I can guarantee you it's HIGH today. Like record setting high.

(A few minutes later SSG is staring at her computer screen and reading through Wikepedia.)

SSG: DUDE the humidity is 61% right now!!! Normal comfort level is 30% - 60%! It's OVER THE STANDARD LEVEL OF COMFORT.

Work BFF: By ONE degree!

SSG: I can FEEL IT.

SSG: Ohmahgah! Did you know OLYMPIA, WASHINGTON is the most humid place in the country? That's like RIGHT UP THE ROAD. No wonder I'm DYING.

WB: IT'S NOT HUMID.

SSG: Dying! Over! Here!

WB: Dude. Look at the temperature.

SSG: 73 degrees?

WB: YES!

SSG: What does that have to do with anything? Why are you laughing? Wait where are you going?!

A New To Do

2009-06-02T04:00:00.000-07:00

Some of you might remember last summer? When I set off to find 25 summery things to do in order to keep my mind on the most beautiful months in the Northwest instead of madly counting down the days toward my trip to France?

Well this summer I'm doing the same thing.

Only instead of following a list, I'm creating one.

#1) Grill burgers (check)

#2) Make coleslaw (check check)

(Welcome to SSG's dinner last night.)

#3) Chat outside with the neighbors enjoying the twilight that lasts until after 9 p.m. (check check and check)

I'd say the first day of summer for SSG went pretty well.

(And yes, SSG realizes it's not TECHNICALLY summer yet. But in SSG's world summer lasts from June 1st - September 5th-ish.)

Serendipitous Summer

2009-06-01T04:00:00.000-07:00

This dear readers, is Lake Oswego. It's a suburb south of Portland and where SSG lived before she bought her house.

Um ... SSG could not afford a house in Lake Oswego. But DID have a very nice apartment for 6 months.

The city has a great farmer's market that runs from May to October that I still love going to.

I don't think there is anything more beautiful than a farmers market early on a Saturday morning.

Unless of course we're talking peonies.

Or asparagus.

They even have a doggie day care with the CUTEST little volunteers (and their parents) watching the pooches.

SSG strolled through the market, pondering summer ... DEFINITELY grateful that spring is behind her. What with the cleaning and purging and general overhaul of Chez SSG, she's ready for some good quality down time ... sitting on the deck each night with something cold to drink, afternoons at the coast, slipping into a novel for an entire day, long hikes with Fisher split up by lunch and the requisite dunking of feet into a cool stream. The good life. The LAZY life.

And as she was driving to the grocery store, sipping on her iced coffee, she pondered ease, dreams and FIREMAN.

SSG almost crashed her car trying to get their attention. But alas, they turned at a different light than where she needed to go ...

That's okay, SSG's peace of mind this summer doesn't need to be cluttered up by the butterflies that show up in her tummy with respect to boys ... but ohmahgah THE FIREFIGHTERS WERE SHOPPING AT HER GROCERY STORE!

Scratch that earlier assessment. What IS IT ABOUT THE NAVY BLUE UNIFORM?!

(Sorry for the poor quality, SSG was in a rush trying to carry her basket, wipe the drool from her lips and take a picture all while looking like she was v.v. interested in the display of Prego.)

But MAN they are cute. And seeing the little kids talking to them was ADORABLE. SSG must really borrow a kid next Saturday. Do they have a service like that? Rent a kid or whatever?

Anyhoo ...

SSG spent the evening downtown on a new BW09 outing ... which is slowly starting to turn into Stout Watch 2009, because SSG has discovered she loves STOUTS. And Portland is like the brew pub capital of the universe so there is A LOT to choose from. And yes, we're still talking about the beer. Maybe.

It was a great weekend ... full of fresh food, sleep, beer, baseball, flirting and fireman.

Which coincidentally sounds like just the right plan for SSG's summer.

"What a piece of work is (wo)man"

2009-05-30T06:19:00.001-07:00

Work BFF: Hey! You finally decorated your cube!

SSG: Yeah, it was looking a little too industrial.

Work BFF: How did you decide on the map of Paris?

SSG: I feared my picture of Shakespeare that says "Prose before hos" would be too much.

Big News!

2009-05-28T19:31:00.001-07:00

Our little Spleen is all grown up! She is now an ENGAGED lady getting married next year!

Congratulations Spleendawg!

I love you!

Senior Citizen SSG

2009-05-27T18:30:00.001-07:00

Hi You Guys!

I'm so sorry! I like forgots ah had a blawg there for a while.

Um ... so I've had my third cold in as many weeks. One might think it's the SAME cold that I keep thinking I'm over, but obviously am NOT ... but SSG has no idea.

I also seem to have done something to my lower back.

Unless of course, it's normal to remain standing at the same 45 degree angle in which you were previously sitting?

If so then things are just fine!

As I told Spleen, "I'm walking around with my hand on my lower back and talking like I've smoked a pack a day for the last 30 years."

Which HAWT.

So that's what's been going on with SSG! Aren't you glad I'm back?

Oh yes, and the toilet in my master bathroom is leaking. So if I can ever stand up straight and speak above more than a croak we may have ourselves a "Plumber SSG" post here in the next few days.

(Plumber crack not included.)

But I do miss you all and will be by to visit each and every one of you! I hope you're all doing well and PROMISE I'll be back to mahself shortly. I hope.

Smoochies,

Fantasy Island Friday

2009-05-22T07:15:00.001-07:00

Who wants to go to Capri?

White linen sundresses. Limoncello. Evenings watching the sunset and strolling old streets ...

I'm sure we can pull up a few more chairs.

Summer Wardrobe

2009-05-21T05:55:00.001-07:00

This weekend marks the unofficial start of summer. Memorial Day. Flags flying. Barbecues. Red, white and blue on little kids in sailor hats.

Which has made SSG start pondering her summer wardrobe.

Every season I have some money set aside to buy a few new things. I've noticed my clothes last much longer and that some new colorful pieces tend to perk up a seemingly tired wardrobe.

Flip flops are on the list.

And ... that's all so far.

Though those dresses up there are giving SSG pause ...

What's on your list this summer?

Did Someone Say Wine?

2009-05-19T21:04:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I went wine tasting in the Willamette Valley.

This, awesome readers, is about 20 minutes away from Chez SSG. Who wants to come for a visit?

Okay, if THAT doesn't entice you, I know this will.

Hi Predo!

Just because SSG has been in a funk for the past couple of weeks, does NOT mean that she can't rally at the mere mention of wine.

Where mah pinot at?

In an odd turn of events, Quiet Guy happened to be on this wine tasting extravaganza--a birthday celebration for a mutual friend. I was anxious to get Predo's take.

"I don't think he's gay, but I definitely think he likes strong women. And he might be into something kinky. Like being tied up. And he definitely likes French Ticklers."

So there you have it folks. Quiet Guy according to Predo. And that was before we even had any wine.

We hung out at a couple of wineries, Predo bought about 100 cases of wine and while the rest of the crew went to some tawny wine country bistro, Predo and I begged out. And drove. Slightly buzzed. To Red Robin.

"GIVE US SOME FRIES AND RANCH!" We screamed at the waitress before she even took a breath.

SSG came home, did a swan dive onto her couch for a couple of hours and then promptly headed over to Predo's for dinner.

We were supposed to cook for Jimmy, who always does the cooking. And in our wine induced stupor, as we were stuffing our faces with french fries at Red Robin, decided to make tomato soup, grilled cheese and macaroni and cheese.

Did SSG mention it was the hottest day of the year?

And we wanted to make soup?

And that even though we were stuffing our faces full of fried, ranch doused, potatoes we thought bread and melted cheese a few hours later could only be made better with a side of pasta, cream and more cheese?

Uh huh.

I called Predo from the road, while downing a five gallon drum of water at the same time I was already supposed to be at their house and panicked said "I've still got to run to the store!"

"Oh, don't worry. Jimmy's got dinner covered."

So I spent my evening trying to take a still shot of Fisher and Oscar instead.

Right.

Dey haz cookeez n mai frenz herez!

Jimmy bar-b-cued steaks, made a salad and some garlic cheese toast. But SSG stayed true to her word.

She DID help.

By putting the baked potatoes in the oven.

(Don't say she never does anything for those two.)

Why I Love Predo Reason #114 - Text Messages

2009-05-18T21:07:00.001-07:00

SSG: What are you wearing?

Predo: I am wearing a mauve g-string and pink plastic flip flops!

SSG: Ohmahgah! We're wearing the exact same outfit!

Predo: No pole dancing?

SSG: That's this afternoon. Too early and I pull a hammy.

The Road Home

2009-05-17T14:54:00.001-07:00

When someone retells their story about having made it through difficulty--whether disease, addiction or a trip to Target with tired two year olds--you usually hear about the beginning and the end. Rarely do you hear about the painful part known as the middle. The fits and starts. Gaining traction and then losing it in half the time it took to gain.

I've been on my road to recovery for just over two years. Reopening deep wounds and allowing them to get fresh air in hopes that over time they heal.

Painful memories rise to the surface every day, not just the hour that I sit with my therapist on Thursdays.

I've learned not to fight them, but instead to let them come, feel the mixed emotions that they bring--anger, sadness, pain, gratitude and disbelief. And then I finish writing my grocery list or walking Fisher or backing my car out of the garage to get to work on time.

Life goes on.

The last couple of weeks have been difficult. I've waded into another area of my life that I've been holding off on exploring. I am finally ready to deal with it now ... but it is exhausting. I take a nap when I get home from work and still go to bed at 9:30. I'm much stronger than I was two years ago and have more tools now to support myself through this. I know a bit more about what to expect.

But it's still hard.

And frankly, I'm kind of tired of things being hard.

This weekend was beautiful. So this morning I decided to just go and get lost. I drove out into the Willamette Valley.

I turned down country roads.

Past orchards.

My windows were down and the acoustic set my favorite radio station plays every Sunday morning was on in the background.

I drove past bikers and runners. Horses and their foals. U-Pick farms just waiting to open. And vineyards selling wine that is made sweeter on years when the grapes are most stressed.

SSG is hoping the same can be said for her.

Umz

2009-05-13T04:00:00.000-07:00

R wee donz wif dis braekz yetz?

Kan i haz cookeez denz?

Girl's Gone ... Wild?

2009-05-06T04:00:00.000-07:00

SSG has decided to take a little Spring Blog Break for a few days.

She's not sure what trouble she'll be getting into. But SHE IS meeting up with Predo TWICE this week and alcohol will be consumed at both functions.

Who knows how to put that black censored strip across photos?

Tuesday Throwback!

2009-05-05T22:34:00.000-07:00

Ohhhh peeps.

SSG has gone and done it.

Do you remember these Esprit ads from the 80's? SSG does.

She had them plastered all over her junior high school walls.

Where does one EVEN begin?

The pinnacle of style ... when you and your boyfriend can wear the same sweater. But the TWIST.

You get to wear it as a DRESS!

This picture is SO small. But SSG is pretty sure she sold her soul to have her mom buy her this snowflake sweater.

It was paired with black stretch pants and slouchy socks. Which HAWT.

And SSG is pretty sure that in the garage she just cleaned out, there is STILL a 7th grade yearbook photo with SSG and 15 of her closest friends each holding one of these bags.
Did you espouse the Esprit?

SSG and the Hot Masseur

2009-05-04T04:00:00.000-07:00

One of the coolest things about this whole spring cleaning/purging/nesting bidness that SSG has been doing over the last couple of months is that she keeps unearthing small treasures.

Not metaphorical treasures, though those have been happening too, but like ACTUAL treasures. Of monetary value.

Like new water goblets.

And checks I never cashed.

And cute kitchen towels with cupcakes on them.

Oh! And gift cards.

Which is exactly how I ended up in the lobby of a local spa on Friday night.

The only appointment available at 6 p.m. was for a hot stone massage. A type SSG has steered CLEAR of after seeing the stone size blister her sister received on her back during one such massage.

SSG: Didn't it, I don't know, HURT?! How did you not scream when this thing was BURNING YOU?!

SSG's Sister (Hi Winner!): I thought it was part of the process. Like work through the pain or whatever.

SSG must have looked all face-twisty from the memory, because the guy was like "TRUST ME, it won't hurt. It's awesome."

And who wouldn't take the opinion of a cute 17 year old gay spa receptionist that looked like he could have been a contestant on American Idol? Not SSG.

SSG: (Holds out her arm.) Twist it.

17 year old gay spa receptionist: (Claps.) Yay! You're gonna love it.

And as he walked away, he uttered the fateful words: "I'll just let Todd know you're here."

SSG froze.

Did he just say TODD?

As in a BOY?

Maybe he said Toddina? Like a really terribly named girl? Maybe?

Ohmahgah, SSG can't have a BOY MASSEUSE! Did she shave her legs? Can she smell her armpits real quick without anyone noticing? What underwear did she have on? OH THAT'S RIGHT YOU DON'T WEAR UNDERWEAR ON A MASSAGE TABLE! Ohmahgah did she shave her ... (Deep breath in, deep breath out.) Ok, I'm sure he's gay. He MUST be gay. PLEASE FOR ALL OF THE LOVE THAT IS HOLY LET HIM BE GAY.

Hot Masseur: Hello, are you SSG?

SSG: (Gulp) Nooomaybeeyeeees?

HM: (Extends his hand.) Nice to meet you.

SSG: (Shakes his hand and mutters under breath.) Damn it. So. Not. GAY!!!

HM: (Walking toward the massage room.) I'm sorry did you say something?

SSG: Looking forward to this! Yay!!!

And internets. He was HOT. Not cute. But like ...

HOT.

Tall. And big arms. And pretty blue eyes. And short dark hair. With a nice ass. Not that SSG noticed. And of course he was all Zen. But not, like let me wear turquoise jewelry that I bought in Taos and read your aura kind of Zen. But like Bejamin Bratt kind of Zen. Where he can bust out some hot yoga pose like he did on the Rosie O'Donnell show whenever that show was still on and he was still dating Julia Roberts which SSG OBVIOUSLY still remembers despite all of that being like SOOOO 5, 6, 7, 8 years ago.

BUT GAH! So NOT who you want to be your masseur. On a Friday night. After a long week. When your feet look cute IN a pair of BCBG slingbacks but who knows what they look like OUT of that same pair of slingbacks.

And SSG is so decidedly NOT Zen.

Like, EVER.

And that's when SSG remembered her TOE! Her poor little toe that is nicely healing with its toenail, that although black, is still firmly attached because SSG talks to it every night promising it pedicures and open toed shoes if it can just HANG ON and heal without falling off.

(Deep breath in. Deep breath out.)

And SSG is sorry, she KNOWS he was just doing his job. But when an attractive guy is asking you to lie down and if you like the pressure hard or soft IT TOOK EVERY OUNCE OF SSG'S NON EXISTENT MATURITY NOT TO GIGGLE.

But pretty soon warm stones were being placed all over SSG's tired shoulders and down her back. And they felt like reassuring hands calming her down. Which um, NEEDED to say the least.

An hour later, hovering somewhere between sleep and the feeling she gets after three or four lemon drops, SSG heard the calm voice "okay, it's time to roll over."

SCIENTISTS.

Are you LISTENING?!

SSG asks you, HOW can we get to the MOON but haven't yet figured out a way to build a massage table that can ROLL PEOPLE OVER?

How can us, the massagees, be expected to:

1) MOVE.

2) Rollover GRACEFULLY, while naked no less (!), in front of hot masseur.

3) Stay UNDER the sheet and ON the table that is essentially the same size as a balance beam?

SSG: (Face firmly implanted into the head rest) Seriousladioasdfjdlfsjy?

HM: (Laughs) You can do it.

SSG: But that's going to take some like, EFFORT.

HM: (Laughs again) You'll only have to do it once, I promise.

SSG: Okaaaaaaaaaaay. (Hoping to distract him with some dialogue and wanting to preemptively apologize for the sight that is mah toe.) But you'll have to forgive my toe when you see it, I dropped something on it and it looks really bad.

HM: Don't worry. I've seen every kind of bruise you can possibly imagine.

A few minutes later.

HM: OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR TOE?!

Just kidding.

But wouldn't that have been funny?

Actually no.

That would not have been funny at all.

Instead he just ran his thumb gently over it while placing little tiny rocks in between my toes "you did get it good, didn't you."

Which, come ON?!

HOW IS SSG NOT SUPPOSED TO LAUGH AT THAT GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES?!?!?!

Oy vey.

So we both laughed. But SSG is guessing NOT about the same thing.

A half hour later, as the massage ended, HM placed a cold stone on my forehead, ran his fingers through my hair and then left the room saying "take your time getting up."

And where SSG wanted to jump up, throw her clothes on and bolt out of the spa without ever seeing HM again, cooler heads prevailed. Thanks in part to the chunk of ICE chilling on her forehead.

She took her time getting dressed, pulling her hair into a pony tail, popping a mint and gracefully walking out into the hallway where HM was waiting with a cup of water. SSG looked him in the eye and said confidently (and maturely!) "thanks again."

"My pleasure, I'm glad you enjoyed it." He said with a smile.

And SSG MIGHT have giggled a little as she was walking to her car. But that was only until she caught a glimpse of her face in the mirror.

Her nice, relaxed eyes and slightly tousled ponytail were shadowed only by the deep, red imprint from the headrest still firmly implanted on her face.

And you guys wonder where the (sometimes!) comes from ...

I Want Mah Meme Back Meme Back Meme Back

2009-05-01T04:00:00.000-07:00

Supah hawt Texan Krissa, over at Halfasstic, thinks that there are seven things about SSG that ya'll don't already know (that was for you, Texas).

So here goes ...

1) Remember when I dropped a drawer on my toe a couple of weeks ago? My toe is STILL black. Which, um ... pretty much ensures I'm not going to get naked with anyone until THAT has been rectified. Have you SEEN the movie Boomerang? SSG prides herself on having attractive feet. Correction: On having had attractive feet up until 2 weeks ago.

2) I'm meeting up with Predo and AB from Irregardless for adult bevvies next week and CAN'T WAIT. Predo has sexually harassed both of us individually, but never together ... I hope he gets his rest the night before. And I have never met AB! So I'm essentially going on a blind girl date with Predo as our joint wingman. In a word? AWESOME!

3) There was an awkward moment this week where I thought Quiet Guy was going to ask me out. I got an instant message from him (despite the fact that we essentially sit next to each other with a 6 foot cube wall separating us).

Peeps, this is how it went down:

QG: Have you given any thought to those Plate & Pitchfork dinners?

SSG: I've heard about them. They sound fun. (?????!!!)

QG: They're kind of spendy. But if you eat at the chef's restaurants it's similar. Just without the whole eating outside part.

SSG: Cool.

The end.

(WTF???!!!! ASDOFJAWOIFLSD!!*$%!ANF!!)

Can someone please pass me a straightjacket? I think I might need it.

4) Everyone at the office is annoying Work BFF & SSG this week. So this afternoon we had the following exchange:

SSG: Any interest in a stealth coffee run?

Work BFF: I WOULD LOVE THAT.

SSG: Please hold for coordinates.

BFF: Affirmative.

SSG: We got two bogeys heading toward the elevator, over.

BFF: Talk to me Goose.

SSG: NO WAY am I Goose! YOU'RE Goose. I am so utterly and COMPLETELY MAVERICK.

BFF: Um, dude. NO WAY are you Maverick. I'm Maverick. You can be Charlie.

SSG: DUDE! Kelly McGillis just came out of the closet and likes chicks now. I'M SO MAVERICK.

This debate continued down the elevators, in line at Starbucks, during a walk around the block and back up the elevators, finally ending after happy hour with the work peeps:

BFF: Night, Goose.

SSG: Whatever, Goose.

5) SSG HATES the acronym "LOL." She also hates when dudes wear suit jackets and dress shoes with jeans. So when I e-mailed Work BFF to see what he was doing this morning he responded "I'm lol-ing my ass off right now while wearing my suit jacket, dress shoes and jeans."

I don't know if I love or hate the fact he knows SSG's pet peeves so well.

6) Um ... I seriously think you guys know everything else about me. OH! OH! OH! I'm going to a John Legend concert at a vineyard just outside of Seattle with this sexy biyotch over the summer.

7) I really WANT to like Sheryl Crow's music because she seems like a very nice, strong, intelligent woman despite her multi year foray into dating the douche that is Lance Armstrong. But SSG really has a STRONG DISLIKE for Sheryl Crow's music.

But she LOVES all of you!

Have a good weekend pretties,

Diving into the Wreck

2009-04-30T04:00:00.000-07:00

As many of you may or may not know, SSG has a degree in English. You can imagine how handy that is at her job as a FINANCIAL ANALYST.

(Though she does frequently get compliments on how easy her reports are to read.)

A poem I studied in one of my classes years ago has been bubbling to the surface over the last couple of months. Adrienne Rich's poem Diving into the Wreck, is what I've affectionately deemed this spring cleaning 2009 extravaganza.

You can read the text version here or if you dig on the spoken word, check it here.

I started cleaning my garage this past weekend. Perhaps you've heard SSG has been spring cleaning? I haven't mentioned it much. Kind of like when I went to France last year (SSG tends to throw her whole self into things).

My garage looks incredible. And after a few more rounds with the recycling and trash, all that will be left in there will be my car, trash cans and some holiday decorations in those stackable plastic bins. I smile every time I walk in there or open the garage door when I get home.

I think it's part of a process of letting my old stuff go.

The last couple of years I've spent diving into the wreck that was my mind--a tangled mess of tragedy, denial, self protection and utter drive to create a life of my choosing--to go to college, move cities, excel at jobs, buy a house, forge and maintain friendships, go on dates and ultimately experience all that this life has to offer.

But I was doing it all from a dingy. While hanging out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

I was floating on the surface. But I just wasn't going anywhere. Life was all around me. But I was stuck. Solo. And my boat was starting to feel way too small.

As I was sifting through the contents of my garage, I realized everything was from 2006.

Three years ago.

The year I broke my elbow, lost both of my grandparents, had my book turned down by a publisher after their initial interest, put my cat to sleep when he got cancer, worked 60 hour work weeks with a boss so bad we deemed him the Seagull because of his penchant to shit all over everything. And at the end of the year, my mother. Oh ... my mother ... threw out a very generous life raft that looked like it was the solution to all of my problems, only to yank it away just as I was about to grab it.

Mah boat had sprung a leak. And I was drowning.

At the time, I couldn't see any of it. Instead, I was beating myself up in my journal about why I couldn't pull myself out of bed and how come I hadn't gone to the grocery store and GAH are you EVER going to get your shit together, woman? And WHY DO YOU CRY when you lay down at yoga class? What's the matter with you?

I couldn't even carry things into the house that year. Everything was left in the garage.

Last weekend, I sat on my garage floor shaking my head as I looked over my life that year.

Bit by bit, and with a TON of compassion, I dealt with everything I came across.

Most of it was finally thrown away.

Many items were donated to those who I know will happen upon them at the exact moment the need arises.

Others were recycled ... ready to become something new.

As Adrienne Rich wrote ...

I came to see the damage that was done
and the treasures that prevail ...

the thing I came for:
the wreck and not the story of the wreck

I am almost ready to come back to the surface ...

Just right after I clean my damn office.

Not So Mellow This Yellow

2009-04-29T04:00:00.000-07:00

It started when this jumped into my hands without warning.

Begging, nay, DEMANDING to be purchased.

A couple of days later, I picked this up. Something bright to throw on over my jammies before padding down to the kitchen for coffee (SSG is TOTALLY that tan too).

And I realized it's probably because I'm desperately seeking this ...

So last week I braved wearing an outfit similar to this to work on a gray Portland day. Only the yellow was ... ahem ... slightly bolder.

I sat down at my desk waiting for the snark from the dudes to pour in. They don't stray far from the white, gray or blue button downs.

But I got nothing.

I tapped away on my computer, silently congratulating myself on bringing them around to girly fashion. To color. To trusting SSG's instincts.

And right during that moment of smugness, Quiet Guy came into my cube to ask a question.

So what's the big deal?

HE WORE HIS SUNGLASSES.

Denial Was Probably Better

2009-04-28T04:41:00.001-07:00

I have lived in my house for four years.

Please tell SSG why she JUST noticed this.

Should I have been taking them for mammograms?

Providing bras?

Coming up this weekend: SSG shops for new light fixtures.

Bitches & Hose

2009-04-27T04:00:00.000-07:00

I brought Fisher home when she was six weeks old.

I made it a point to take her for rides in the car, introduce her to babies and cats in an effort to put her at ease as an adult dog ... a semi adult dog. Because homegirl is still a PUPPY in many ways.

Sometimes however, she'll catch me off guard and completely freak out over something unexpected. Like any guy walking down the street wearing a winter coat (Which is a little problematic, as you might imagine seeing as we LIVE IN THE NORTHWEST) or the nice older German lady who is very hunchbacked that lives down the street (whose name is NO JOKE ... Broomhilda).

I don wan 2 talks abowt dos guyz.

So early Saturday morning, the Fish, SSG and a box of Kleenex went to Lowe's to get some new flowers for these pots.

Everything was fine. For a while anyway. Fisher hung out in the garage while I swept and replanted. I chatted with the neighbors, including this neighbor (which um CUTE, GAH) and this neighbor (which um alcoholic, GAH).

Then SSG started watering the newly planted pots. And that's when things went downhill.

Because Fisher decided to JUMP IN THEM.

She LOVES water so I kept pushing her out of them, saying "DUDE! You can't have the water!" Meanwhile water and dirt were flying everywhere except IN the pots. Where both belonged. But couldn't be because my 40 pound dog was there instead.

"DUDE!" I was laughing and yelling and sniffling because um, SSG has a little cold. And that's when I realized she wasn't trying to get at the water. She was trying to get away from something.

Something had made my fiercely protective dog tremble. "What's the matter?" I asked her as she bent in half looking behind her while trying to hide in the flower pots.

And that's when I saw the culprit ...

I don yikez dat ting.

It's okay, Fishy.

But I think the hose might have a cookie for you.

U haz mai atenshunz.

Are You My (Italian Grand) Mother?

2009-04-26T04:00:00.000-07:00

Don't get SSG wrong. She loves her grandmothers.

One had mad skillz in spreading peanut butter and jelly on graham crackers and would let little SSG trip upstairs to the neighbors so SSG could indulge on the neigbors' candy dish full of lemon drops. (And you wonder why SSG loves Grey Goose Lemon Drops so much.)

The other grandmother had a penchant for a nightly glass of "Chablis" and baguettes slathered in butter.

Lately however, SSG has been lamenting the fact that she doesn't have an ITALIAN grandmother in her family tree. Not only because that might make tanning this pasty British/German/Northwest skin of hers a little easier, but also because SSG has become fixated on finding a good spaghetti and meatballs recipe. The kind she imagines an Italian grandmother would have in her repertoire. The kind that simmers on the stove for hours. The kind that everyone can't wait to get their paws on.

So while SSG was hunkered down on the couch yesterday afternoon nursing a little cold and recuperating from a rare but nonetheless spectacularly craptastic week at work, she wondered if she could adopt an Italian grandmother. One who would come over to SSG's house wearing an apron to cook from recipes so entrenched in family history that they aren't even written down but cooked straight from memory ... and heart.

And Italian Grandma ... if you're out there, could you give SSG a recipe for Chicken Parmesan and Baked Ziti while you're at it?

Grazie.

(Photo from ellenfork.com. Who SSG just discovered and might have a little girl crush on.)

Not Talking is the New Black

2009-04-24T04:00:00.000-07:00

Remember Starey Guy?

He's still around.

And ... staring.

We haven't talked since he came over and introduced himself. But he still looks. Like obviously looks. So much so that last week one of my co-workers was like "dude, that guy is TOTALLY checking you out."

Usually I see Starey Guy at lunch, but this week Work BFF and I saw him in Starbucks.

BFF: Dude, your boyfriend just walked in.

SSG: WHAT?! Is he looking at me? Wait, don't tell me. Dude, DON'T LOOK AT HIM!

BFF: Dude. How am I supposed to tell you if he's looking at you?

SSG: Ohhh! Check his outfit. I like the black shirt and gray flat front pants. V.V. Banana Republic.

BFF: Are you going to say anything to him?

SSG: OHMAHGAH! NO!

BFF: Come on then, let's go back to work.

SSG: Fine. But I hope that guy appreciates how much time I spend NOT talking to him.

BFF: I can guarantee you, he works three times as hard.

Until We Meet Again

2009-04-23T04:00:00.000-07:00

Oh San Francisco ... you had to do it, didn't you?

Spoil SSG with your sun and gorgeous bay. With your good food and energy. With your bridges and trees. Oh yes and your WINE (the ones that didn't taste barnyard-ey).

But most of all with the PEOPLE.

You've definitely got some of SSG's favorites.

The Ladieth Weekend Day Two Part Um ... Two

2009-04-22T04:00:00.000-07:00

It started innocently enough ... this talk of pizza. At noon. A few glasses of wine into the Urban Wine Tasting 'Hood or Hawt Extravaganza. We were hungry. And maybe a bit hung over. Everyone was having a good time. Shouldn't we move this on into the evening? A little dinner? How about some pizza? We could pick up a pie at Patxi? Or wait! What about Little Star?

And before SSG knew it, the gloves had COME OFF peeps.

A full on debate over which place had THE BEST Chicago style pizza west of ... Chicago. Or let's just say in the city of San Francisco. Because by the time hint of a head to head taste test started picking up some steam we were getting weigh ins from people not even in our group. What about Cheeseboard? No, no! That was East Bay. And if you're going to do East Bay then you'd have to consider ... some name SSG can't remember. But WAIT! That's New York Style! Patxi and Little Star are Chicago Style, shouldn't we keep it the same STYLE?

BW was vigorously pulling up text messages on her phone--modern day evidence of what pizza Bree Mastaa hinted at liking best a few weeks earlier.

Could there be a bias?

Would this really be a competition if everyone already had a clear favorite?

And that's when SSG did it.

She suggested a BLIND Chicago Stye Patxi vs. Little Star straight up pizza SMACKDOWN the likes of which have never before been attempted ... we think.

BW's eyes bugged out of here head "You're like BLOWING MY MIND right now."

(SSG swears no one was high in this reenactment.)

By the end of the day we had a plan. Three groups. D Mac was on the wine (What? You think we'd stop?). SSG, Digs and Spleen would hit up Little Star. BW, The Shoe and Bree Mastaa would pick up Patxi and we'd meet at Bree Mastaa's place where her hubby and some of his friends would join us after a day of golfing. Everyone peeled out of the parking lot with their charge.

There was a slight hiccup when "pepp" was misinterpreted as peppers instead of the intended pepperoni and Patxi wouldn't change the order less than 2 minutes later. F-ERS. But the ladies were resourceful. Our car received a text message "We're back on track! I repeat, back on track! Third pizza ordered!"

Less than an hour later we pulled up to Bree Mastaa's penthouse.

SSG was distracted momentarily by the VIEW.

Hello gorgeous!

How you doin' fog rollin' in on the San Francisco Bay and covering up the Golden Gate Bridge ... you bastard.

Hi Digs!

The bad part about having a blog is no one wants to look at you when you have a camera in your hands.

Hello?

Anyone?

(Actually that's SSG, Spleen and Digs from left to right. SSG doesn't like to get in photos either. And UH, what the San Francisco humidity does to SSG's "let's pretend our hair isn't curly straight hair." So TOTALLY kidding. That's not SSG at all. Don't let that bossy finger pointing fool you.)

Moving on ...

It was decided that D Mac and SSG would be the "platers" as neither had eaten at Patxi or Little Star.

Categories were determined.

Crust
Sauce
Toppings
Overall Score

We decided against presentation when we hacked the ginormous slices up into twee little smackdown sized slices.

Pizzeria One was on the left, Pizzeria Two on the right.

Things around the table were serious folks.

There was much tasting of the cheese and each individual sauce--was it too oregano-ey? Is there such a thing? Is this crust undercooked? Or is that crust OVERcooked? Could people use decimal points? Did anyone know which pizza was which? Who, going into the smackdown, had a clear favorite?

After the second round of tasting, and before SSG knew it, she was deemed "moderator" (perhaps because she's boss ... er, opinionated).

Everyone had a chance to weigh in but a clear favorite prevailed.

Patxi took it.

Hands down.

Don't worry if you don't understand SSG's score card. She didn't either. But she does know THIS ...

If you're ever in San Francisco, hit up Patxi. And tell them the Pizza Smackdown 2009 sent you.

The Ladieth Weekend Day Two

2009-04-21T04:00:00.000-07:00

When one thinks about wine tasting in Northern California, this is probably what comes to mind.

Not this ...

One guess which route we chose ...

Digs' sister Bree Mastaa works at a wine magazine in San Francisco. We met up with two of her coworkers (and friends!) and a BOY who braved the six of us ladies for the ENTIRE DAY! Special shout out to BW, The Shoe and D Mac!

SSG knew she was in for a good time when BW showed up wearing a shirt that said I Heart Boxed Wine.

We kicked it old school and went Urban Wine Tasting in Oakland of all places, yo.

It was SUPER high class.

It was a gorgeous, warm morning and apart from a minor hot flash that SSG went through due to temps being higher than 40 degrees (and maybe wine at 11 a.m. after a lot of wine at 11 p.m. the night before) we were rolling right along.

My favorite stop was at JC Cellars. The owner and winemaker, Jeff Cohn, joined us for our tasting and was as lively as his wine. The guy's passion is tangible and you get swept up in his energy. It was the only stop where we all purchased wine.

I'd say we got the star treatment since we were with some of the magazine peeps, but I honestly think JC Cellars is that welcoming with everyone.

We were taken on a spin around the place. Check that monster egg. It's the latest thang--they're keeping some wine in cement since it's porous and can BREATHE. Because wine needs AIR. Since it's LIVING. Or something ...

Hiccup.

Jeff could explain it better than SSG.

Hi Jeff! Jeff's on the left who ... wait a second ... he gets to be at work all day drinking wine. Can SSG have that job? He is supervising BW as she checks the place out. Earlier I took a picture of them pretending to be handcuffed to each other, to which everyone shouted "June 2009 cover!" SSG is waiting for the call because she's SURE with photography like this it will get picked up in a heartbeat.

We started to wind down and went to one other winery. Which SSG won't mention. Because after the first sip she and BW looked at each other.

BW: Does this taste like 1980's perm solution to you?

SSG: I was thinking more along the lines of manure.

BW: Ah yes, in the industry they call that "barnyard."

SSG: Seriously? Maybe I'll just go ahead and rinse out my glass.

We wrapped up shortly thereafter as earlier in the day pizza had been mentioned. The debate of which pizza place we should go to had quickly snowballed into a vigorous debate. The results of which, frankly, are going to blow your mind.

Coming up Tomorrow on SSG: The 2009 San Francisco Pizza Smackdown

The Ladieth Weekend Day One

2009-04-20T04:00:00.000-07:00

Well hello peeps! SSG just came back from San Francisco and seeing her college roomies (and friends!) for the weekend.

This was what Portland looked like when I left on Friday morning.

The shuttle driver from airport parking to the terminal was ALMOST as cheery.

SSG: Good Morning!

Shuttle Driver: Did you know it's a proven fact that people in the Northwest don't get enough Vitamin D?

SSG: Oh?

SD: It's from a lack of sun.

SSG: Hm ...

SD: Contributes to Alzheimer's.

SSG: Um ...

SD: Worst disease in the world. No dignity.

SSG: Awesome! So I'll be taking Southwest Airlines this morning.

But then SSG flew into this ...

And I think Spleen and Digs wondered what aliens had taken over SSG because all morning she was all: "Isn't the sun THE MOST GORGEOUS THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN?!" And like: "Look what it does to the SKY! What COLOR is that? So THAT'S what BLUE looks like?! Wow. Amazing."

This is the same SSG who, while living in San Diego, listened to Pearl Jam 24/7, wore Doc Martens with baby doll dresses and couldn't WAIT to move to Seattle where GAH! There were SEASONS ALREADY. Because like, the sun? All year? TOTALLY over.

Much to her dismay, SSG DID end up having to Stripper Suit Up so the ladies and I could meet up with Digs' sistAH, Bree Mastaa at this really pretty reservoir. Perhaps Digs could leave a comment and let you fine peeps know where this place is. SSG was too busy hanging her head out the car window trying to soak up every ray of sunshine to notice.

It turned out to be perfect ...

We walked and chatted ... and I'm pretty sure disrupted everyone's serious exercise regime by giggling and taking up the whole path by walking in one line or waving our arms around in animated story telling and stopping every few minutes so SSG could take pictures like this California poppy or the boat house above with paddle boats. PADDLE BOATS people. You can actually be out on the water at this time of year and NOT have to worry about hypothermia. A marvel. Truly.

After our stroll around the reservoir, we figured we'd get some lunch and take it to this cute little park by Digs' place.

And by lunch I mean burritos so big one had a blow out.

But we had just walked a few miles so that totally balances out any calories or whatever. Especially if you order them with Diet Cokes.

Not that any of us did.

Anyhoo ...

After our walk we went back to Digs' place to relax and shower before our busy evening of COOKING RIBS peeps.

Wait ... did we go to Digs? Or ACCIDENTALLY WALK INTO A MODEL HOME?

Look! The model even comes with a Spleendawg! (Spleen, that's MY corner.)

I'm volunteering Digs to give SSG readers free decorating lessons for whoever wants them (that's okay, right Digs?). But you're going to have to wait until Spleen and I are done with her. And since we're talking about Chez SSG, Digs should be done sometime around 2011.

So after showers and SSG sitting in the sun surrounded by the smell of blossoms on the Meyer Lemon tree, she was FINALLY lured inside by this.

And martinis.

The ribs had been cooking low and slow all afternoon and were served with loaded baked potatoes and a roasted broccoli salad that WAS HEAVEN.

And SSG totally would have taken pictures of the ribs.

But by that time she had a few grapefruit and elderflower martinis and then had moved onto wine and story telling. And really? I'm afraid if you saw how the four of us tore through those ribs you'd wonder about us being ladies at all.

And if you heard the stories that were told at that table?

Well then you'd know for sure.

(Tomorrow on SSG: The Laideth Weekend Day Two: Urban Wine Tasting. 'Hood or Hawt?)

And She's Off Again!

2009-04-17T04:00:00.000-07:00

SSG is heading to San Francisco for the weekend!

I was talking to Digs the other week about how I'm organizing my recipes ... perhaps you've heard SSG has been cleaning lately?

Anyhoo ... I mentioned that I had an inordinate amount of recipes for RIBS. SSG has never made ribs in her life but if she ever chooses to do so she has about 100 options. Apparently that's what looks good to her every single time she runs across a recipe. Ribs and anything with the word "braise" in the title. Oh and cupcakes.

So Digs sent me this picture of her fridge last night:

All I have to say to that is mmmmmm!

I hope you guys have equally delicious weekends ahead!

xo,

The (Sometimes!) Serendipitous Kitchen

2009-04-16T04:00:00.000-07:00

SSG THINKS she might have used her kitchen for cooking once. Long ago.

Lately however, it has seen the same flurry of activity the rest of her house has. Mad cleaning, purging, rearranging and standing back to hmmmm and haaaaa and hmmmmm again before moving furniture around. Over. And over. And then? Over again. Which begs the question, how much furniture can a person can have in her kitchen? Please don't make SSG tell you.

The cleaning crazies are ALMOST done. Interrupted only by a very much needed trip to San Francisco this weekend. After which she comes back to finish up the garage and her MOTHER F-ING office. GOOD THING SSG saved the the spaces that constantly give her trouble for last.

She wants to pull the blankets over her head just thinking about it.

So she e-mailed Digs telling her she might never leave. And then asked Spleen if she had room for SSG in her carryon luggage in case Digs kicked her out. Because the beaches of San Diego? Calling to SSG right now. Same with the garlic pizza from The Venetian. Oh and the breakfast burritos from ... anywhere with a Mexican name ending in -erto's.

But I digress ...

I can tell that some inspiration is starting to rise to the surface. Bits and pieces here and there. And so I give you dear readers, a few things that are giving SSG the warm fuzzies right now.

Stacked White Dishes

I love them. So much so that a girl I work with has a little white ceramic pot on her desk that I think about stealing. Daily. I'm pretty sure it probably cost $1.99 at IKEA. But. Still. SSG. Wants.

Five Ingredient Fix

This is a new show on the Food Network where each recipe has only ... wait for it ... FIVE (!) ingredients. Has anyone caught it? The food is right up SSG's alley. Simple. Seasonal. And readers, please. Homegirl busted out a layered shortbread, carmel and chocolate cookie using ONLY FIVE INGREDIENTS. SSG almost licked the screen a little.

(P.S. Don't hold the kitchen above against her, that's not what the show's set looks like.)

Check it out here: 5 Ingredient Fix.

This Piece of Food Writing From ...

Don't get SSG wrong. She loves food blogs. But somehow they're all starting to look and sound the same. As if they're all reading the same manual.

Get an SLR camera.
Make something from a recent issue of Bon Appetite, Gourmet or Saveur.
Take a picture of the food as close up as possible.
Explain all of the ways you tweaked the recipe.
Have 100 commenters say only "YUM" or some variation thereof.

They're just not ... pardon the pun ... feeding SSG like they used to.

But then I read this post from Chocolate & Zucchini and my hope was renewed. It tells a little story about a French mother, her college daughters, a road trip to the French countryside and a pot that has been waiting patiently for a couple of years before finally being put to work.

SSG thinks the pots in her kitchen know the feeling ... as they sit, waiting just as patiently, for their moment in the oven.

If SSG would just get her ASS in the kitchen already.

Do Not Disturb

2009-04-15T04:00:00.000-07:00

When SSG has trouble sleeping, she lays back, turns on some music and puts herself in a different place. Sometimes it's a major city like Paris or New York. Other times it's near the ocean where she can drive in a convertible while wearing gigantic sunglasses and a scarf.

But right now?

SSG can't get the thought of her own farm out of her head ...

There would be a red barn.

And a swimming hole with a rope swing ...

And a farm house ... maybe a little less Gone With the Wind-y but SSG LOVES that tree lined drive.

Of course Fisher would need some play mates ...

There would be a peach orchard for homemade peach cobbler ...

And a twee little apple orchard where SSG would pick apples while wearing a sundress, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat (SSG often considers her wardrobe in daydreams.)

She'd drive her 1950's red Ford truck into town to get fresh baked croissants and coffee.

Ice cream is mandatory.

There would be a proper (ish) cottage garden ... sans one thatch roof.

And an herb garden too ...

How else would SSG snip off some fresh mint for her lemonade which she'll need for ...

... quality time on the porch swing ...

... while holding hands with her Sometimes Serendipitous Guy and watching the sun go down.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ...

See? Works every time.

Stripper Suit Up

2009-04-14T04:00:00.000-07:00

Ya'll know how much SSG loves the show How I Met Your Mother ... especially Doogie, er Barney.

Friday SSG heads down to California for a reunion with Digs & Spleen, her college roommates (and friends!). Digs sent out an itinerary last week saying that after the ladies pick me up at the airport, we're going to take a 27 mile hike (or maybe just a 2 mile walk around a reservoir).

Now SSG has her airport routine DOWN. From the bag, what gets packed, the outfit, the book, the magazines, the GUM, the iced americano, the bottle of water after the security check point, not before. You name it, SSG has it. She's like Airport Barbie.

So this little twist threw SSG for a loop.

Work out clothes? At the airport? Really?

SSG HATES those ladies who cruise through the airport wearing their Juicy track suits and hair piled up on top of their heads with a pair of J. Lo sunglasses. Work BFF concurs on this and we have taken to calling them Stripper Suits. Sans the plastic heels.

Always wanting to be the good house guest however, SSG only asked one teensy tiny favor in her response to Digs' itinerary: "FOR ALL OF THE LOVE THAT IS HOLY, if plans change and the 106 mile trek up the equivalent of Mt. Everest is out, PLEASE let me know so I'm not one of those douches walking through the airport in a track suit."

To which SSG received the following reply:

"SUIT UP."

Well played Digs, well played.

P.S. I'll see you sexy bitches on Friday! And just so there's no confusion, I'll be the stripper out on the curb with the well packed luggage.

Pweez Holdz

2009-04-13T06:03:00.001-07:00

Weez bak 2 dah reglar skedyulez 2morowz.

Butz maybee u haz cookeez 4 meez 2dayz?

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T07:10:00.001-07:00

Happy Easter Everyone!

I hope the Easter Bunny brought you baskets full of chocolate and firemen.

Oh wait, that last part was for SSG.

The Day SSG Might Have Died a Little

2009-04-10T04:00:00.000-07:00

If you saw SSG's Twitter yesterday you would have seen me Tweet to mah tweeps "6 guys are working on my house. I am sitting on the couch. Bon bons anyone?"

I lied.

There weren't 6 guys working on my house yesterday.

There were SEVEN.

SEVEN DUDES DOING STUFF. GUY STUFF. FOR SSG.

I'm pretty sure yesterday might have been the best day ever.

SSG THOUGHT she was having a window replaced under warranty. So when the guy came over a couple of weeks ago to check it out, we got to chatting. And SSG sucks at home improvements (which duh, peeps you've seen my palace) so I thought I'd take advantage of my close proximity to a guy who knows how to fix stuff and asked for some advice on homeowner-y, repair-y type things.

I pointed out some drywall cracks inside my place and asked if he knew how I could repair them. Then JOKINGLY laughed and said "oh yeah, how can I fix that too?" when he pulled up my kitchen blinds and only half of them went up.

So homeboy showed up yesterday with a CREW and when I opened the door he said: "Good morning luckiest homeowner ever!"

SSG: Hello! Of course I'm LUCKY, don't you read mah blawg?

Warranty Guy: What?

SSG: Oh! Just kidding. Hi! Are we so going to ROCK this WINDOW thing today or WHAT?

WG: YES! And I have someone coming to repair those drywall cracks and then the guy should be here to fix your blinds.

SSG: Wait, wait, wait. What? The warranty covers that too? (This excited SSG because then it COULD cover crown moulding, paint AND minor carpentry such as cabinets and stuff that she needs built too, right?! Don't warranties work that way? I thought so!)

WG: No but YES.

SSG: Wha?

WG: I talked to the developer and they've agreed to cover it under your interior warranty.

SSG: The one that expired 3 years ago?

WG: Yep.

SSG: OHMAHGAH I AM the luckiest homeowner ever!

(And then it took every ounce of SSG's being not to wrap her legs around WG and start making out with him. Because stuff! Free! That I need! And don't have to do myself! And YES, we're still talking about home improvements.)

Peeps! Not only did the drywall get fixed, a guy touched up paint around MY ENTIRE PLACE. Including the corner of the baseboard in the kitchen where Fisher chewed when she was a puppy and windowsills that I just painted myself a few weeks ago but STILL. He did a way better job! AND! I got NEW blinds!

And ALL of this happened while I was sitting on my couch doing NOTHING. (And if you know SSG, she LOVES doing nothing, just ask Predo). Actually by nothing, I really mean I was PRETENDING to read magazines instead of doing what I was actually doing. Which was CHECKING OUT the SEVEN GUYS walking in and out of my house smiling and asking if they could do anything else for me.

UM? Did I die? Is this what heaven looks like?

AND THEN!

Just when SSG thought it couldn't get any better ...

A BASEBALL GAME CAME ON AT 10 a.m!!!!!!! And SSG couldn't figure out what she wanted to watch more--the guys kindly fixing things in her little rowhouse. Or the guys on the field playing her favorite sport ever.

So SSG did the only thing she could think of.

She looked up at the ceiling and said "Okay, seriously. Am I dead?"

SSG's Day Off

2009-04-09T04:00:00.000-07:00

It started when the warranty guys called and told me they'd need about 4 hours to replace my kitchen window.

"Why don't you just take the whole day off? Enjoy your afternoon!" My boss asked.

"Well ..." SSG didn't want to tell him that it was on a THURSDAY and who wants to come BACK to work on Friday only to LEAVE again for the weekend.

"Or better yet, take Friday too and make it a long weekend. You've been working hard."

SSG was shutting down her computer before he even managed to finish his sentence.

I have today off peeps.

And tomorrow too!

What, oh what is a girl to do?

Oh I know ...

(And no, this isn't SSG's room. Normally that requires dinner and a couple of cocktails first.)

Word to Your Martha

2009-04-08T04:00:00.000-07:00

SSG loves it when Martha hangs with her homies. You know, sippin' on gin and juice. It's like she's laaaaiiid back (see what SSG just did there, because it's Snoop and that's a line from his song and ... okay.)

So when Seth Meyers from Saturday Night Live was on her show last week and she mentioned that she always TRIED to catch his show on Saturday nights, he CLEARLY had no idea who he was talking to.

Seth Meyers: It's 11:30 on a Saturday night, where else would you be?

Martha: Well there are other things to do you know. Dancing. And. Out. At the bars. You know. All those things. So um ...

Seth Meyers: Is this an April Fool's joke?

Hike With SSG

2009-04-07T04:00:00.000-07:00

Hey Fisher!

Want to go on a hike?

Okayz! I tink dey haz cookeez der 4 meez. Les goez!

SSG looks for one thing when she determines where to hike.

Could a kindergartner do it?

If the answer is YES.

Then SSG is IN.

SSG had never considered a hiking BENCH before. But NOW?! On. The. LIST. Where's my lemon drop?

Even BETTER? A LOOP hike. Start and finish in the same place? Without having to see the same thing twice? One word. GENIUS.

Especially if it means she gets to meet the guys RUNNING the loop in a couple different spots, stopping so they can say hi to Fisher.

I yike doez guyz.

i tink i tyredz.

That's okay pupalah. You rest. Mommy is just going to drive us to Starbucks so she can pimp you out a little more.

Okayz.

I dreemz f cookeez ...

You and me both, pumpkin.

(And for those of you looking for the elephant penis ... because really, who isn't? Here is the link to the post! Thanks for the shout out Spit! I think I'm going to come back and make out with you a little, I LOVE having your fun readers stop by!)

Bloom Where You're Planted

2009-04-06T04:00:00.000-07:00

Oh internets ... spring is ...

LOVELY.

I am SO glad she finally decided to show up to Portland this weekend. Gorgeous weather, beautiful flowers, happy Portlanders and one ecstatic SSG.

I took my camera on my hike and then promptly forgot it for the rest of the weekend. Hike photos coming tomorrow, but here's a recap from some of the weekend highlights.

Out for cocktails on Friday night our group was discussing whether or not we should change venues. Someone jokingly said we should go to The Gypsy, a dive bar in Northwest Portland that has a penchant for cheap, fishbowl size drinks with multiple straws and entire pineapples on the rim. Because of the size of the drinks, I jokingly said we should all go and sit in them LIKE a jacuzzi. I had NO IDEA why that statement made the dudes in our group desperate to get to The Gypsy. A few minutes later I discovered they thought I said we should all GO SIT IN THE jacuzzi. An ACTUAL jacuzzi. We ended up staying exactly where we were once it got cleared up that the Gypsy did indeed NOT have a jacuzzi and that SSG employed the use of a simile. (The ensuing grammar debate was equally as entertaining.)

Fisher is pretty much THE ultimate wing-dog because SSG met A LOT of dudes on her hike Saturday and at the ensuing coffee date (with a friend) she had afterward. She will be accompanying me everywhere from this point forward.

I was supposed to go out with my gay friend from work and his new boyfriend on Saturday night. They wanted to help me with BW09 and are so cute I can't stand it. Though in retrospect ... I have no idea how being the third wheel on a date with two gay guys would have helped my cause.

I ended up not being able to go on a date with those two because ... NO JOKE ... I couldn't put shoes on. SSG dropped a drawer on her toe early Saturday evening and almost passed out from watching it change 37 different shades of purple.

Instead, my Saturday evening found me with an ice pack on my foot watching some cheesy Lifetime Nora Roberts movie called High Noon. Jealous? I feel like I should go have a one night stand TONIGHT just to prove that SSG is still HAPPENING and not on some slippery slope toward housecoats and hoarding cats.

Sunday I invited Predo & Jimmy to breakfast. They drove. And paid. So of course I thanked them profusely and then asked if they wanted to go shoe shopping. Or on a trip to the Caribbean. I also decided to show my broken toe to Predo. And then once I saw his horrified expression, I promptly covered it up and refused to show it to Jimmy. I think Jimmy can still love me but I'm not sure Predo will ever recover.

As if they don't do ENOUGH for me, Predo gave me a HUGE BAG FULL of Chewy Sprees! I almost sucked face with him on the spot ... But I don't know that he would have ever recovered from that either.

I caught up with Spleen and Digs this weekend. Our little Spleendawg has found the boy she is GOING TO MARRY! They've been dating for a year and a half (ish) and are starting to talk about their future plans and buying a house and all kinds of other adult stuff that makes me get teary eyed with happiness for her. She is AMAZING and he gets her and just ... SQUEE!

Speaking of amazing ... My stomach hurts from cracking up during my conversation with Digs. We had been dishing recipes when she asked about the best way to cook a pork tenderloin. "How big is it?" I asked, assuming she would tell me it was a pound or two when she goes "DUDE, it is AN ELEPHANT PENIS." WHAT?! I screamed and almost fell off the couch. "Seriously! There was no way to pick it up at the grocery store without feeling like I was jacking off a piece of meat!"

And on that note, I hope your weekends were as equally ... satisfying.

xo,

Stop It Right Now

2009-04-04T05:05:00.001-07:00

SSG is up early this morning to go on a hike.

But then these two had to go and do this.

And SSG can't take her eyes off of how ADORABLE they are.

So she sat down for a second too.

And now it's hard to get up.

Sunny spring weekends are best enjoyed from indoors, right?

I thought so.

Fantasy Island Friday

2009-04-03T04:00:00.000-07:00

One thing I notice about my travels to the Four Seasons, like this one in the Bahamas, is that I dig on the cabana, pool, ocean thing they've got goin' on.

I'm almost certain that if I draw a yellow cabana outline on my wall, put a kiddie pool on the deck and stare at the reflection in my neighbor's window I MIGHT be able to get the same effect.

Maybe not ...

Who wants to go sailing? We've been doing so much lounging over the past few weeks a little activity wouldn't kill us.

(And by activity SSG means we just need to sit there and look pretty, right? Someone else does all the work on those boats?)

Please excuse me and the hot fireman I met last night, we have a date to watch the sunset ...

Now you just run along and have lovely weekends, you sexy bitches.

xo,